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Dispatch from THE GREAT STATE OF MAINE!
Cheers and Jeers: Monday Saddam Edition
CHEERS to 4th Infantry Division's 1st Brigade and Special Ops for snagging the haggard prize. The stories they'll be able to tell their kids: Priceless.
CHEERS to Bush. Stays somber during public speech to avoid another "Mission Accomplished" moment. Privately, though, he's doing the Texas two-step. "Yee-Haw, Mother F****r!"
JEERS to nimrods who think Saddam capture will mean halt to violence. The show's barely begun, folks.
JEERS to spider holes. Here in America they're called inner city apartments. No security deposit refund for you, Saddam---just look at that mess.
CHEERS to Iraqi citizens. With boogie man gone, now they REALLY feel liberated from evil. But do they have the resolve to form a more perfect union?
CHEERS to most (see below) Dem candidates for being graceful after capture (but you know they were all secretly thinking, "Doh!").
JEERS to Joe Lieberman. Praises Bush, then takes cheap shot at Dean. Yes Joey, if Dean were President, Saddam might still be in power. But focusing on Osama---as Guv would've done---might have netted the world's REAL menace by now.
JEERS to Saddam's tonsils. If I see that footage one more time I'm gonna hurl. Are latex gloves used during checkup on Ebay yet?
CHEERS to TV news. Morning press conference turns slow day into ratings bonanza. And how convenient to have those End-of-Saddam graphics and music themes ready.
CHEERS to "We got him." Paul Bremer delivers perfect line with deadpan precision. A moment for the ages.
JEERS to Iraqi practice of celebratory discharge of firearms. Bullets have nasty habits of coming down on people's heads. Ever hear of sparklers?
JEERS to Saddam's legacy. At least Hitler had the guts to put a bullet in his brain when all was lost. No virgins for you when you're swingin' from a rope, coward.
CHEERS to Major Brian Reed, operations officer for the 1st brigade of the 4th Infantry Division.
Greets Saddam with "President Bush sends his regards." I hope that hurt.
CHEERS to anti-war crowd. Saddam capture can't remove sour taste of Bush administration lies, nor bring casualties back to life. Thanks for the sideshow, now go get Osama.
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