The following is a hopefully humorous anecdote from the life of a young guy trying to make it in the big 'burbs. If you are offended by humor, anecdotes, suburban life, or anteaters*, this diary entry is probably not for you. Please click the "Back" button on your browser to return to sanity. Thank you.
*May contain less than 0.0% parts per million anteater
So, I recently moved into an apartment in MoCo, MD. Nice little place to start out. Doing the roommates thing with a childhood friend. I'm a Democrat, he's a disappointed Independent. Disappointed because he wanted to vote in yesterday's primaries and couldn't. The man likes Dubya about as much as I do.
Anyway, we just paid for our second month at this place, so a few weeks have gone by since we got unpacked. Imagine my surprise when I walk out my door the other day and discover The Little Orange Bag Of Conservatism sitting in my path. Like a recently-awoken dancer in combat boots, I blithely steer around the offending periodical and go on my merry way, assuming that the local Conservative Paperboy must have mistaken my door for the door of one of my several neighbors.
This process repeated itself the following day, and the day after that, until finally, today, there was enough newspaper in front of my door to cause a serious impediment, meaning I had to ::gasp:: bring the papers inside. Suffice it to say, I am rather disturbed by these developments. To me, a liberal-minded fellow, there is little use for The Washington Times besides paper training a mutt to poop on Georgie-boy, and our complex has a strict no pets policy, so Prancer can't stay here. One might claim there is a logical explanation for this occurrence, such as the former tenant putting a hold on deliveries of The Times while he/she moved, and then failing to update his address. But that's too convenient. There must be a more sinister, interesting, and humorous explanation for why this is happening. Is my roommate a secret Republican agent? Am I actually receiving advance copies of tomorrow's newspaper so I can preemptively carry out conservative goals?
You tell me.