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#donaldtrump
#ukraine
#community
#joebiden
#russia
#israel
#openthread
#abortion
#media
#mikejohnson
#cartoon
#election2024
#arizona
#earthday
#stormydaniels
#trumptrial
#war
#culture
#gaza
#elections
#rescued
#maga
#gop
#politics
#vladimirputin
#florida
#pwbpeeps
#congress
#music
#photography
Cattle Call -- You Can't Hide the Truth!
by
LarryInNYC
Community
(This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)
Tuesday, Oct. 28, 2003
Tuesday, Oct. 28, 2003
at
11:02:10am PST
Mosley Braun: Now campaigning under the name Mos Eisley Braun she captures the large, active Star Wars vote. Her supporters begin lining up at polling places three months before the primaries "to get the best ballot".
Kucinich: Big bounce in the polls now that the electorate realizes he's actually been saying "Department of Pizza" all along.
Sharpton: Popularity at all time high when it is announced he is being considered for the host spot on Meet the Press. But will he have to leave the field?
Lieberman: Announcement that, if elected, he would appoint Simon LeGree as Secretary of HUD leads to popular upswing.
Kerry: After getting rid of his old campaign slogan "The Courage to Be For Good Things and Against Bad Things" he sees a lift in the polls with his new slogan "Smarter, Taller, and More Hair Than You".
Edwards: Crack investigative team at NY Times issues banner headline "One Candidate's Father Worked in Mill!". Edwards demurs on subject, saying "It's not something I really like to talk about". News of the "everyman" candidate hits the electorate hard, tripling his national support -- to 4%.
Gephardt: Support falters when the news leaks that he is actually running for Governor of Iowa.
Clark: His plan to parachute voters into polling stations before other candidate's supporters arrive is foiled when the "Paratroopers for Clark" find the targets are already held by Mos Eisley Braun supporters decked out in Darth Vader masks and light sabers.
Dean: In an increasingly common fit of anger, Governer Dean bites four of the other candidates during a nationally televised debate before wrestling Senator Kerry into a headlock and giving him a nuggy, while shouting "Iraqi War Vote, Iraqi War Vote, Mwahahahaha". Resulting three point lift in the polls is not enough to move him out of last place.