I am Tired, but I am not Defeated

I am tired tonight. Perhaps it is the flu. It feels akin to the bone numbing exhaustion that I feel when I consider the endless litaney of abuse of power that we as a nation have experienced over the past six years.

Cross posted at Musings

I wonder if the reason that we as a people are not out en mass, protesting in the streets is this overwhelming sense of exhaustion. We go out, we vote, and the elections don't reflect the will of anyone I know. The polls have always seemed to favor the candidates I prefer, but my candidates do not win. It is one thing to fly in the face of sure failure on the basis of strong principles, and entirely another to believe you have succeeded only to have your hopes dashed by the vote count, or the supreme court. I am tired. I am tired of the ongoing evil being perpetrated in my name in Iraq, and in many other places on the planet including in my own country where civil liberties, once taken for granted, are being eroded as surely as the fish in the sea are being depleted, and as surely as the carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is increasing. I cannot wrap my mind around the way my country has changed since I was a girl. I believed that even when an election didn't go the way I wanted it to, that the system itself was self correcting, and intelligent leadership would ultimately prevail. Now I'm not so sure. I display my bumper sticker, wear my protest t-shirt, use my seafood watch card, and try to walk lightly on the planet. I am tired, but I am not defeated. My voice is raised for the things I believe in. I am tired but I will vote and I will write, and I will send money when I can to support positive change. A teacher I respect once told me that in a long fight sometimes the only way to get through is to accept how hard the uphill battle is and fight as though it will never get any easier. It looks like a downhill battle for the Dems right now but I think if we want to insure victory at the polls in November 2006, and 2008 than we must fight at all times like we are fighting for our lives. I think we are.