Another FHAD (Freeper's Heads Asplode Diary)

Normally when I slum it over in freeperville I come out feeling befouled and besmirched and usually need to wash my eyes out with visine, and go outside for some fresh air. But a funny thing happened over at the ironically named "Free Republic" (which is neither) when I started reading the "Hastert Must Go" thread here:

http://www.freerepublic.com/...

I couldn't stop laughing. This one thread's total lack of coherence, barely literate vitriol, and the usual approach to never let the facts get in the way of a 2 line rant just cheers me up, dangit. Excerpts of Freeper heads asploding below the fold!

ISN'T IT CONVENIENT
how close to the 30-day mark this news hits?? Doesn't McLame's free-speech restricting law now make it IMPOSSIBLE for independent groups to counter the LIBERAL LAMESTREAM MEDIA'S MESSAGE that Republicans are all pedophiliac predators?????
1 posted on 10/07/2006 3:56:29 AM PDT by Recovering_Democrat

I love the tag "Recovering Democrat" and the contempt held for John McCain. And, hey, even I don't think they're ALL pedophiliac predators.

"LibLieSlayer" responds to "Recovering Democrat" from the peanut gallery:

dims love to push certain Conservative buttons to divide our party right before the most important election of our lifetime... and in the last few days it appears that "some" Republicans enjoy it!

WTF? My head's beginning to asplode . . . with mirth. I really don't know what the poster above was trying to say, but I do agree with the sentiment about the importance of this election.

Ok, a little more bashing of that well-known liberal, John McCain:

The GOP had better understand, if they nominate McCain, millions of conservatives will stay home or vote a third party.

Do they get it?

Hey, nothing a little swiftboating won't cure, right?

Next up, a little pro-forma bashing of the media (Foley? A pervert? Nah. IT'S THE MEDIA STUPID!!!):

Hey we are witnessing John McCain campaign finance legislation, wherein he gave power and authority to the MEDIA to shape election advertising. Once that 60 day threshold was past look what has become the election theme...

PERVERTS I mean the media are framing the debate!!!!!

And next we have an obvious Kossack mole slumming as a Freeper (note the semblance of logic!):

The media isn't framing the entire debate. Just watched a Reynolds ad saying that Foley lied to him.

My guess is that perhaps Fordham lied, too and that's why he left.

Ok, it's time to attack Foley's victims! Let's get Freeh to "dig up some dirt on the pages . . .":

Freeh's investigation would not be under the control of the House and she [Pelosi] would not get the TV coverage of a committee investigation and besides Freeh might dig up some dirt on the pages and she only want to slime Republicans.

Yeah. How DARE they want to slime Republicans . . . sliming the pages, well, that's another matter. And Freeh would have been just the guy to do it.

And finally the answer to all of our problems . . . pray for Bush:

Bush cannnot escape responsibility.

Oh, geez. The weight of the world is on that man's shoulders. While you continue to bash him, I'll pray for him.

I picture John Belushi and Dan Ackroyd reading these lines.

And I didn't even cover the thread wherein the Freepi gleefully trumpet that since one of the pages he slept with was 18 years old, and no longer a page, that the whole Foley thing was irrelevant. I remember something about "Oh my God! Christmas has come early!!!"

Beware the thread:

http://www.freerepublic.com/...

This is the one wherein a Congressional Page is outed by name, and the arguments ensue . . .

Y'all be real nice out there now, hear?