The REALEST reason Ford lost. The DEFINITIVE diary.

By now, you've probably read this diary, which faults Ford for abandoning the left in his unsuccessful campaign. Then, you've probably read this diary, this diary, and this diary, all of which respond to the first diary and cite their own reasons why Ford lost.

To all those diaries, I say, "bullshit." None of you have any idea what you're talking about. I, on the other hand, do know what I'm talking about. In my time at Daily Kos, I've been widely acknowledged as perhaps the most astute political observer on this entire website (for example, see this comment). So trust ME when I say that I've studied the Tennessee Senate race extensively and can definitely state the reason why Ford lost. It was not because he ran too far to the right, or because of the RNC ad, or because of Republicans outnumber Democrats in Tennessee.

And for everyone who thinks there were "multiple" factors why he lost, I say grow a pair. It's easy to say "any number of factors caused the loss"--that's the coward's way out, as the great Danny Bubp might say.

The real reason Ford lost was because he had sex with a German Shepherd. No, seriously. He gave the bone to an 80-lb., two-year-old German Shepherd named Mitsy. It happened on the campaign trail, on a stop on the way to Murfreesbro. Now, Ford's staff claimed that the Shepherd totally wanted it, but that's just blaming the victim. I was frankly disgusted by the sight of seeing this political scion humping away at a slightly stunned canine, grunting and sweating as his panicked advisors begged him to get back on the campaign bus.

But sadly, it was too late. Word reached the media and, of course, Corker's campaign. Within hours, it was the biggest story in the state. Rumors even spread that Mitsy was pregnant. After that, Ford spent the rest of the campaign on the defensive, and Corker took a permanent lead in the polls.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar and a fool who knows nothing about Tennessee politics. For some reason, this story got zero attention, even though I previously commented about it on this site, and even included pictures.

So there's the whole story, folks. Discuss.