Lies my Culture Told Me
We are born into a culture and whether we like it not, we usually first adopt the value system of that culture. This value system may be consistent with our personal idea of what we would like our values to be, or it may be quite inconsistent with what we believe. It may be inconsistent with our cultures laws or stated values as well. Take this statement from the American constitution '... all men are created equal and endowed by their creator with certain rights...'
Many Americans today (including myself) would agree with this statement, however beliefs are born out by actions, and I must say for even myself, I find myself at times judging the worth of a person based on their looks, status, or numerous other characteristics. I do not want to do this nor do I think it is correct. However, if you grow up and every moment you are bombarded consciously and unconsciously with things like
"thin is beautiful" "greed is good", "the poor deserve to be poor" "brown skinned people are worth less than white skinned ones" it is difficult to believe in the core of you being that all are created equal. It does not matter if you yourself happen to be not thin, or poor or brown skinned. I take on these values from my culture. At some point I recognize the inconsistency and attempt to disabuse myself of these notions.
It would be naive to think that I could grow up in a culture in which racism exists and think that I would somehow not be affected by it. Until my 19th year of life, I was myself afflicted by racist ideas. If racism means to value one people group or culture higher than another and to use the characteristics of a group of people such as hair or skin color as a sign of their lesser worth, and to think that beauty or intelligence is determined
by skin color, then I would have to say that I was a believer. Not to say that I did not want to believe that all peoples intrinsic value was equal. I had in fact believed myself to be free of such biased thinking, but I could not help it, I did not yet have the tools to allow myself to be free of this kind of thinking, I had not even made the first step which is to recognize it in myself.
How did I find out that these seeds of racism live in me? I knew because I was not satisfied with my own skin color or my own culture. I believed myself to be ugly and stupid. I observed my own country and my TV, and I saw that those of my skin color were the poorest people. These same people were the most uneducated people and that a large amount of the men were in jail. To accompany this I was told that if anyone works hard enough, then that person will make it, they will become rich and prosperous. I was told that every person regardless of his race had the same chance to be educated and rich. I was told that the proof that there is no racial obstacle to wealth and education is that people of many cultures and ethnic backgrounds had come to America over the years and been able to `make it'. And I had believed this. I must have at some point come to the following conclusion: If every people group has the same chance, and my people remain poor, then it can only be their OWN fault. They must have something in them to prevent them from getting to the top. I never made this logical conclusion consciously. But no one at my school, or on TV or in the newspaper or in the magazines gave me any other options for why my people remained at the bottom. In fact no one really wanted to talk about it at all. My culture made it impossible for me to find any other solutions for my internal conflict. For this reason I hated my self and my people. I thought
they had some intrinsic flaw which prevented them from becoming successful.
How did I change my opinion? When did I change my mind? Do I think that all people have the same intrinsic worth? Sadly I still have to say No. I am still too much a product of my country and my culture. I have been the most successful in changing my mind when I have found out that my culture has lied to me.
I have found out that people are not poor because they do not work hard enough. Some people are unlucky. Some people are abused. I have found out
that all people do not have the same chances. I found out that `privilege' exists (based on wealth, skin color, accent etc). I did not find out these things from my school teachers
or the TV or my text-books, or the main stream society, or my friends. These people never wanted to talk about any of this. In as much as I found out where and how and to what extent my own culture lied to me, exaggerated or told me half truths, have I been able to change my opinion
about myself and my worth in a way which is reflected in my actions and my subconscious, and not just like some parroted truism. For this reason the truth is so important to me. It is the truth that sets me free from self hatred and bias.
To what extent have the lies our culture has told us has crept into our thinking? The words we say and the emphasis and implication of what we say
and, do not say become very important, for they reveal the real cultural value behind the 'believed' or stated idea.
The disease of anorexia is an example of how our cultures lies distort the idea of self-worth. These young women believe the lie our culture tells that beauty and self-worth is dependent on weight. Neither their doctors nor their parents not even their friends can convince them that it is the culture that lies - that their self-worth is not dependent on their weight. If they do not believe it for themselves, how can they believe it for others?
The very language we use contributes to our thinking about other people and their worth. Here is an example. America divides the World into "First" "Second" and "Third" Worlds. We all know and recognize that people are created equal, but we always hang a value on these words, first second and third. Who wants to be third? That's the last place. Aren't we glad that we live in the 'first' world. It's like doublespeak in '1984'. How can we make ourselves believe in the equality of peoples when we associate words - which already have values, with peoples - who are not supposed to have weighted worth, and then link those weighted words with countries/peoples.
A good way to discover the inconsistency in our desired value system and our cultural value system is a willingness to view issues from the other persons point of view. This means listening and trying to understand, sometimes it requires extra effort and self-education. There is a certain frustration however when discussions 'devolve' into arguments because one or another side is unwilling to believe that he or she could possible have a culturally compromised value system.