Friends, has this ever happened to you: you wake yourself from a dream that is so laugh-out-loud funny, only to realize that the humor was actually non-sensical jibberish? Me neither.
Well, a few nights ago, I awoke from a dream about President Bush, in which the lyrics from Glen Campbell's "Rhinestone Cowboy" looped mercilessly. I don't remember much of the content of the dream (though there was this thing about a duck and a pickle, more on that some other day). However, over the last few days, I can't get the damn tune out of my head. But you know what they say, "better a song stuck in your head then your head stuck in a cement mixer." At least that's what I've heard.
The following is my attempt to repel this particularly noxious melodic demon. I think Glen Campbell would be proud.
Join me for a sing-along below the fold...
Rhinestone Cowboy 2005
I've been rappin' with God so long
While fundies pull drags from my bong,
I own every hack and conservative quack on the Beltway
Where "Values" is the name of the game
And Abdul gets whisked away on a Syria-bound plane
There ain't a lick of compromisin'
With my Christian Empire risin'
Cause I'm gonna' stay where the Law is underneath me
I'm a Neocon Cowboy
Trashin' reason and truth in my star-spangled Hee Haw Show
I'm a naughty little Cowboy
Killin' kids and mothers in countries I don't even know
With cash from a Red Chinese loan
Well, I really have no need for my brain;
The Bible's got the whole thing explained
And my base is far too dumb to complain; they hang on every word that I say.
And I dream of all the lib'rals I'll screw
With Congress and main stream media just lickin' my shoes
Could give a rats `bout compromisin'
Even though my approval ain't risin'
Cause I'm gonna crush anyone who'se left-ways of me
I'm a FakeAss Cowboy
Born to power and wealth and a hankerin' for snortin' blow
Just a WannaBe Cowboy
Sendin' sons and daughters to die so Ayrab oil will flow
Pine boxes comin' home with their bones
Big Business Puppet Cowboy
Selling out on my base so those parasites can really grow
FADE
I'm your Daddy Cowboy
Stealin' both elections, Hey Dems just go and eat some crow
The Constitution is `bout ready to blow...
I couldn't figure out how to plug in lyrics about the duck and the pickle. But hey, if you want, take a crack at it. It's Friday, and you really didn't think you were going to get anything done anyway, did you?