1st Draft of a Democratic Election Ad - FEEDBACK NEEDED

On numerous occaisions both here on DKos and elsewhere, I've made the suggestion that the Democratic Party should create short video clips that can be released on the Internet to generate election buzz as a way to combat the always expected voter apathy in any election year, particularly in a mid-term election.

I do not have hard numbers to back this up, but I would be willing to bet that leading up to the '04 Presidential election that more American voters watched the Jib-Jab cartoon then any televised political ad from either party.

So on a recent flight from Miami to DC, on the back of an org chart, I jotted out this first draft of a simple ad that would run under 60 seconds.  Its just an idea but I think it could get some traction and get passed around the blogosphere, web sites, email chains, etc.

Let me know your thoughts.

The numbers in brackets are the running time in seconds.  

{0:04} Close up of Howard Dean in a business suit down on one knee next to a 5-year old Asian American girl.

        DEAN:  "I'd like to introduce you to <girl's name>"

{0:09}  Camera begins to pull back revealing kindergarten classroom setting

        DEAN: "<girl's name> is five years old.  She lives in <girl's small American town> and she goes to school at <school name> Elementary School."

    Camera pull back stops (possible including her teacher standing by?)

{0:10}   DEAN:  "This is her classroom."

     (Music Starts)

{0:13} low-angle shot of male or female Senatorial-looking person with Capitol dome in the background.

        SPEAKER: "This is her government."

{0:16} African-American man in white lab coat in medical lab holding some sort of beaker or flask up to the extreme foreground.  Camera focus shifts from his face to the container.

        SPEAKER:  "This is her medicine."

{0:19}  Camera follows youn professionally dressed woman walking across active Wall Street trading floor carrying a portfolio as she shouts over the noise.

        SPEAKER: "This is her money."

{0:23}  Camera moves slowly right to left showing uniformed soldier (marine?) standing among the grave markers in Arlington National Cemetary.  

        UNSEEN SPEAKER:  "These are her heroes."

{0:25}  Camera shows someone standing in the middle of an art musuem gallery, wide enough to show paintings on surrounding walls.

        SPEAKER: "This is her inspiration."

{0:28}  Camera recedes in front of approaching group of 4-6 college age young men and women walking through a vibrant urban neighborhood.  The group is laughing and talking while the camera remains centered on a central female speaker

        SPEAKER:  "These are her neighborhoods."

{0:30}  Still camera shows proile of older haggard male looking over a field of green crops.

        SPEAKER:  "This here is her farm."

{0:32}  Stylishly dressed Indian-American male standing amid a large computer network server farm.  He spreads his arms to encompass everything around him.

        SPEAKER:  "This is her Internet."

{0:34}  Older woman sliding a book back onto the shelf surrounded by the stacks of a large public of University library

        SPEAKER:  This is her wisdom
         (alternate: "This is her knowledge")

{0:36}  Close up of speaker with the sun hitting their face.  As they talk, the camera pulls out, swings around behind them to reveal scenic panorama of nature.  Grand Canyon?  National Forest?  Red Rocks?

        SPEAKER:  "This is her view."

{0:38}  Vertically split screen with two close-up head and shoulder shots of a Latino woman with a desert background on the left and a white male with a snow covered bridge on the right.

        SPEAKERS (in unison):  "These are her borders."

{0:40}  Any Olympic athlete in their uniform/jersey wearing a gold medal on a red, white and blue ribbon and holding the medal up for the camera.

        SPEAKER:  "This is her pride."

{0:43}  Return to close up of Howard Dean and young girl.  The young girl is looking at the camera, Dean is in profile looking at her.  She throws her arms up over her head as she excitedly shouts.

        YOUNG GIRL:  "THIS IS MY COUNTRY!!"

{0:45}  Dean turns to face the camea.  (possible close up of Dean's face, or should she be kept in the frame?"

        DEAN:  "And she wants it back."

{0:50}  Spike in music volume.  Cut to black with silvery white text

        TEXT:  "The Election Starts _____"

The blank is then filled in with changing words with different fonts/colors/styles and rotates through things like "Here", "Everything", (a peace sign), "with YOU", "change", "Everywhere", "Hope", "the Future",  and ultimately ends with "NOW"