What if work conversations paralleled politics?

Yeah, business, where we all know the grown-ups are in really charge. (See tags; snark, aimlessness, etc.) How completely off-world is the so-called Party of Business and its supporters? Let's go to the office videotape...

1. Mr. Chairman, our market share is declining and margins are slipping.
2. Damn your mouth, TRAITOR!

1. Members of the Board, Dynetron's Executive Commitee has refused our joint-venture offer.
ALL: Why?
1. Umm, they say here, quote: 'You better join us, or we mount a global PR campaign to brand you as smelly cowards and girly men.' is not negotiation."

1. Bob, we have serious QA issues with the line. You promised you had it fixed.
2. No, Frank. I have serious issues with you. Why do you hate the Chairman?

1. Sir, we lost another Plant Manager in Iowa.
2. Why do you hate the company, Smithers?

1. Mary, I don't think the cheaper coffee service is going over well.
2. Dammit Sue! Freedom has costs, don't they know that?

1. Ernie, 2 years ago you said Taradigm was rolling out new product that was going to flatten our Schnitzen V-5082 by Q3 latest. Where the hell is it?
2. Well, that could have been misinformation. We got it from a disgruntled ex-Taradigm EVP.
1. What?
2. On the upside, he now hears they're cutting back on free bagels in the breakroom, the new coffee sucks and Taradigm's people are really pissed... we should invade.

Come on, I know you can do better than me..