Apology

I recently posted a diary (which I have since deleted) regarding the McClurkin controversy and the Barack Obama campaign. I apologize for using racist imagery in that diary, and I ask for forgiveness from anyone and everyone who I may have hurt.

My involvement in politics is grounded in a desire to help people, not to cause pain or anger.  

Below is an explanation of -- but not an excuse for -- my behavior.

Like racism, homophobia doesn't only cause hurt feelings, but it can (and often does) result in violence and death.  I've seen the fractured skulls and wired jaws.  I know a gay couple whose home was firebombed.  I've heard the stories of suicides and homicides.

From the White House to church pulpits, gay is the new black.  I cannot explain to you how I felt the morning after the 2004 election, with pundits wondering aloud whether John Kerry should have been anti-gay.  It not only made me feel like I was somehow not an American, it made me feel not human.  

I remain steadfastly opposed to the Obama's campaign's hiring of McClurkin to appeal for votes in South Carolina.  While I am aware that Mr. McClurkin has a tortured history, it gives him no license to visit harm to and whip up hatred for the gay community.  

But I have no right to use racist imagery, even in an attempt to provoke thought.  

Regarding Obama, as I've repeatedly said, I do not believe he is a homophobe, although I do believe he is employing cynical politics to gain votes.  I do believe that he is putting his desire to win above his ideals.  

But that gives me no basis upon which to abandon my beliefs in a fit of rage against the Obama campaign's actions.

In fact, it should make me redouble my commitment to those beliefs, even as the Obama campaign has done the electoral math and set their priorities accordingly.

I let my rage and fear get the better of me in my last diary.  I give my sincere apologies to this community, and a promise that I will make every effort to control myself in the future.