Nitwit News Network:
Bush's plans tax overhaul; Democrats say "we're screwed!"
By B. Smith, Nitwit News Network
Hogwashington, D.C
Today, President Bush said he supports the elimination of the Alternative Minimum Tax. His new tax plan would replace it with a $10 trillion tax cut for the top 1% Also included in Bush's plan, is a 15% increase in military spending and a promise to balance the budget and eliminate the deficit by 2150.
In 2005, Bush will have 55 GOP Senators and 230 GOP Congressmen to help him pass his agenda. Bush, replying to a reporter's question, said "It's time America entered the 19th century." Rove, Bush's political guru and part-time Devil, plans to aggressively seek support from the 13 Democratic Senators that come from "red states." He says he'll remind them that their home states rewarded President Bush with up to 67% of the vote in the '04 election, and that the President expects his agenda "fully implemented." Whenever these Democrats begin to buck the warning, Rove says he can point to the most chilling reminder of all, Tom Daschle.
Harry Reid, the elderly Democratic minority leader, told NNN that he felt "f----- off" by Rove's comments to the press. Reid was then escorted from the room by paramedics after he suffered a minor heart attack.
An anonymous Senate staffer was quoted as saying that DNC chairman wants Reid replaced with "an even older Democrat from an even redder state." A furious Howard Dean, was soon sent to the emergency room, where he challenged Sen. Reid to a shouting match.