The Giuliani campaign has refused to explain the exact nature of the illness that caused Giuliani to turn around a campaign airplane so that he could go to a St. Louis hospital for emergency treatement. All that has been revealed thus far is that Giuliani was suffering from a really bad headache.
But isn't it obvious? Clearly, the stress of campaigning has brought on relapse of what Jon Stewart has famously called 9/11 Tourette's.
Initially, Rudy's 9/11 Tourette's was brought on by persistent media speculation that conservative evangelical Republicans would not vote for a man who proclaimed his intention to protect reproductive freedom by appointing strict constructionist judges to the Supreme Court like Samuel Alito and John Roberts. The poor man.
But once the press began to realize that evangelicals cared more about Rudy's authoritarianism than his hypocrisy on social issues, Rudy's 9/11 Tourette's began to lessen, eventually almost disappearing, replaced by a more subtle strategy of attacking as cowardly anyone who would question Rudy's plan to "stay on offense" against "the terrorists." Despite the constant temptation to invoke his heroic performance as Mayor of 9/11, Rudy triumphed over his condition and soared in the polls.
But now, with constant, unfair attacks on his use of NYC funds to make love connections in the Hamptons, his use of the Emergency Command Center (paced conveniently within walking distance of City Hall in the city's most prominent terrorist target) as a love shack, and the employment of NYC police as limo drivers and dog walkers for his inamorata, Rudy has tragically suffered a relapse.
It's not pretty. But who can blame him? Despite the obvious consequences of their attacks, the press incessantly tries to remind voters that Rudy dumped his second cousin/first wife for his second wife, and dumped his second wife on TV for his third, and tried to move his then-girlfriend in to the mayor's residence while Mrs. Giuliani the Second and the kids were still living there, and used the NYPD to act as the then girlfriend's limo service before the public knew about her, and his police chief used a Ground Zero relief apartment as a love shack, and he pushed his police chief/love shacker as Homeland Security Secretary. Among other things.
No wonder Rudy had a bad headache last week. No wonder he had to be hospitalized. And no wonder that Rudy's campaign has refused to explain the true nature of his illness. We can only hope that this time, Rudy will not be forced out of the race prematurely by a devastating illness, as he was in the 2000 Senate race against Hillary Clinton. Then, some unfairly speculated that it was not illness, but scandal, that made Rudy drop out. But who among us, having seen the campaign ad above, can deny that this time Rudy is truly and seriously ill? Next to the tragedy of 9/11 Tourette's, prostate cancer -- or lung damage from working at Ground Zero -- is a piece of cake.
You can help this man, or you can turn the page. Won't you help?
