Mike Huckabee's incisive grasp of foreign policy

Having zoomed to the top of the Republican presidential field, Mike Huckabee is apparently finding the view from the top isn’t so much fun, because once you get there, people actually start paying attention when you screw up.

And since the assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto, the Huckster has been absolutely on fire, and not in a good way:

Mike Huckabee strode out to the strains of "Right Now" by Van Halen and immediately addressed the Bhutto situation, expressing "our sincere concern and apologies for what has happened in Pakistan."

Uh, "apologies"? Governor, I am sure you’d like to blame this on Bill Clinton or somebody, but this is a bit extreme.

Anyway, Huckabee has a fascinating take on this whole Pakistan business: apparently, it underscores the need for a border fence. Because it's all about illegal immigration:

"In light of what happened in Pakistan yesterday, it's interesting that there were more Pakistanis who illegally crossed the border than of any other nationality except for those immediately south of our border, 660 last year form Pakistan who came into our country illegally because we don't have secure borders," Huckabee told reporters at the Pizza Ranch in a town that has probably supplied one of the windows in your home or office.

Six hundred and sixty! Good God, man! That’s almost two whole Pakistani immigrants per Congressional district, stealing our jobs!

Even for Huckabee, this is an unbelievably idiotic statement, especially considering the very serious foreign-policy concerns associated with Pakistan (like, say, the fact that it's an increasingly unstable nation with a sizable nuclear arsenal).

To try to twist Bhutto’s assassination into an argument against illegal immigration would be a hilarious political contortion...if it weren’t actually coming from the Republican frontrunner for the Presidency of the United States.  

Let’s not forget, either, that Huckabee is just plain wrong about the immigration numbers:

In fact, far more illegal immigrants come from the Philippines, Korea, China and Vietnam, according to recent estimates from the Department of Homeland Security.

Frankly, I completely understand if you’re not inclined to trust Bush’s DHS, Governor, but I think they might be right on this one.

He used the Denver Post for the "660" figure, in fact...ignoring, of course, that that was not their estimate for last year, but for fiscal years 2002-2005.

Well played, Mikey. Well played.

Don’t worry, though: the Huckster isn’t really concerned about the masses of Pakistani immigrants flowing into the country and stealing jobs:

"The fact is that the immigration issue is not so much about people coming to pick lettuce or make beds, it's about someone coming with a shoulder-fired missile," he said.

Yes, I completely agree. We ought to be terrified of the idea that Pakistani illegals are massing at the Mexican border with shoulder-fired missiles. Terrified, I say. It’s a fantastic argument for a border fence.

This might be the most preposterously bizarre and utterly inappropriate use of deceptive political hyperbole I’ve heard since Condi’s finest: "We don’t want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud".

Seriously, the fact that Huckabee is actually dismissing the economic implications of illegal immigration shows that he doesn’t even get it on domestic policy. His party has finally succeeded in manufacturing an issue out of whole cloth to instill fear in the populace (the only way they can win elections), to try to save them from the dire electoral straits they’re in...and their frontrunner can’t even use the scare tactics properly.

No wonder the GOP powers that be can't stand Huckabee.

But it’s probably best that Huckabee stick with the immigration line, after all, since clearly, he doesn’t know a damn thing about Pakistan and its borders.

Erm...Pakistan shares a border on the west with Afghanistan, Governor. Not the east. The eastern border is a minor democracy called the Republic of India. You may have heard of it. Over one billion people live there.

No wonder that even his own aides have to acknowledge his ignorance on foreign policy:

A senior aide to Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee admitted Friday that the former Arkansas governor had "no foreign policy credentials" after his comments reacting to the assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto raised questions.

We know, of course, that Mike Huckabee doesn’t know a damn thing about foreign policy. We know that he is woefully ill equipped to deal with the critical foreign policy challenges facing the next president. And we know that he is using the tragedy in Pakistan to make political hay on the immigration issue.

But hell, look on the bright side: if he wins the nomination, he’ll be able to pick from a wide pool of experienced conservatives to run his foreign policy, no? Folks like everyone’s favorite mustachioed neocon, maybe?

At a Thursday evening press conference, Huckabee said, "I've corresponded with John Bolton, who's agreed to work with us on developing foreign policy."

Oh, indeed?

Bolton, however, has a different view. "I’d be happy to speak with Huckabee, but I haven’t spoken with him yet," said Bolton, now a senior fellow at the American Enterprise Institute, a conservative think tank in Washington.

So, erm, he’s going to compensate from his complete lack of insight on foreign policy by consulting with crazy persons such as John Bolton...except he hasn’t actually asked said crazy persons to work with him yet?

Fabulous.