Breaking-Tony Snow announces presidential run

Having observed the boost John Edward's campaign for president received after Edward's wife, Elizabeth, shared in a press conference that her cancer had returned, White House spokesperson Tony Snow announced he is running for president. "Tony realizes this is his chance, since right now the sympathy for cancer victims is at an all time high." remarked Ted Stevensonville, a Republican strategist. Polls do show that a majority of Americans feel cancer is bad, leading some to see opportunity.

"Now is the time for a Republican resurgence," said campaign consultant Bill Williams, who wished to remain anonymous. "If the RNC can find, say, 50 people with cancer to run, the Republican Party could easily take back the House and Senate in '08."

Tony Snow made his announcement in an impromptu news conference at the White House earlier today. "I am running for president, because I have cancer and if you vote against me the terrorists win." Tony is quoted as saying. He equated his bid for presidency to the War on Terror. "The Terrorists are a cancer on the American people, and like our men and women in uniform who battle terrorism everyday, I am fighting the war on cancer. To not vote for me is to vote for cancer."

Upon hearing the news of Snow throwing his hat into the presidential ring, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi called an emergency meeting with top Democrats in both the House and Senate. Sources close to the Speaker say the Democrats are looking for other diseases that could garner sympathetic votes. "It's all about the swing voters, and right now they are leaning towards candidates with life threatening illnesses or who know someone they love who has one." remarked Tom Patchmaker, a DCNCCCCNC member who also wished to remain anonymous.  

Though currently Tony Snow has no campaign staff, money or platform, he is said to be feeling good about his chances. Polls of Republican voters show Snow neck and neck with Macain and Giuliani. But among independent voters he is ahead of both. Democrats meanwhile are sticking with Edwards, hoping that a candidate with cancer doesn't trump a candidate married to someone with cancer.