A Conservative Platform for '08 (via Freeperville)

Here's an amusing 2008 political platform idea they're pushing hard over at Freeperville:

  1.  Win the war!
  2. Secure the nation!
  3. Secure the borders!
  4. Stop the illegal aliens!
  5. Rebuild the military!
  6. Deal with growing threats! Iran, Syria, North Korea, China, (and an increasingly Muslim Russia and Europe?)!
  7. Cut government!
  8. Cut spending!
  9. Cut taxes!
 10. Allow the free economy to expand!
 11. Return control of states issues to the states!
 12. Defend life, liberty, property and individual rights!

Here's a reality based translation:

  1. Spend more money.
  2. Spend more money.
  3. Spend more money.
  4. Spend more money.
  5. Spend more money.
  6. Spend more money.
  7. Hamper items 1,2,3,4,5 and 6
  8. Cut back on items 1,2,3,4,5 and 6.
  9. Cut back on the money available to pay for items 1,2,3,4,5 and 6.
 10. Negate items 2,3 and 4.
 11. Refight the Civil War.
 12. Hamper items 1,2,3 and 4.

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Finally, a concise statement of Conservative goals. I'm impressed.

After a careful review of the first 6 items as opposed to the last 6 items I've come to an obvious conclusion. Conservatism is no longer a political philosophy. It's a mental illness. A composite of a variety of them in fact. An entire textbook of textbook cases.

As if you didn't already know. But here they have summed it up for us quite nicely.

I'm not sure if we're winning this thing, or if they're just losing it. Badly. I guess it doesn't really matter which. The end result will  be the same.

The Good Guys win. Let's make sure we're real good.