(This post originally appeared at
The Talent Show)
Okay, we've got a serious problem here and we should probably discuss it now while we still have a chance : John Kerry is a bore. He's not bland or emotionless, but his public persona is really stiff. This is mostly due to his outright hostility to such things, as evidenced by this exchange from VH1's Presidential Pop Culture Quiz (this is from the comments of an earlier post) :
To Kerry's credit, he was annoyed by the whole thing. The exchange was something like this :
HOST : Thanks for giving us a few minutes. I've got this short pop quiz that all the other candidates have taken...
KERRY : Oh, I hate it when you guys do these things.
HOST : This isn't like asking you the price of a dozen eggs or anything.
KERRY : I know, it's just that these things seem so...oh whatever.
And then when Kerry was asked the questions, he aced it. He was able to quickly answer every question correctly (which none of the other candidates could do).
But the problem is, when November rolls around, undecided voters might be more inclined to throw their support behind the guy who they relate to more. When given the choice between the guy who takes his job "too" seriously or the guy who doesn't know how to read, Americans are gonna pick the dummy every time.
(There's more....)
The importance of this problem, as well as its standard solution, is discussed at length in this article from The Atlantic (link via
E-Rock) :
But over the past decade the popularity of late-night comedy programs and daytime talk shows has added to the list of necessary credentials the ability to appear warm and funny on television. Although candidates have favored such appearances at least since Richard Nixon's 1968 cameo on Laugh-In, most observers trace this development to candidate Bill Clinton's 1992 saxophone performance on The Arsenio Hall Show, which came to symbolize his differences in personality and style from the first President Bush. Comedy shows have since become a political rite of passage. A recent Pew Research Center study concluded that they are "increasingly becoming regular sources of news for younger Americans, and are beginning to rival mainstream news outlets."
To politicians generally, but especially to those viewed as distant or aloof, this is a fraught development, because success in virtually every facet of their job depends on decorum, discretion, and a rigorous lack of spontaneity--traits that leave them ill equipped to be funny. "What's interesting and disheartening," says Ben Karlin, an executive producer of Jon Stewart's The Daily Show, "is that politicians are the most stage-managed and image-conscious guests we see, even more so than actors and celebrities. They're trained to exhibit a certain range of behaviors: serious, compassionate, practical. Comedy isn't one of them."
. . .
Kerry's penchant for oratory and statesmanlike posturing would seem to make him Dukakis's heir apparent. Though he has had material provided to him by a former writer for the comedian Bill Maher, and now draws on a phalanx of sitcom writers, little evidence of their handiwork has manifested itself. The trouble for Kerry is that the road to the White House runs through the gauntlet of late-night shows, which presents an opportunity--"If you're going to beat back the charge that you're aloof, here's the perfect venue to do it," Baer says--but also a risk. During the primaries Kerry's lack of humor didn't hurt him; his vaunted "electability" was enough to draw the support of Democrats eager to depose President Bush. But now he faces the considerable task of wooing the center--voters who by definition are not slavering to remove Bush--and this means displaying the warm and funny side that he has assiduously hidden throughout his public career.
While this article is great, the one big flaw is that it concentrates only on humor. Seriously, is there anything
less funny than seeing a politician trying to be a comedian? Think back to Steve Forbes on SNL stuttering out "hilarious" lines while dressed like a blue-collar worker and you get my point. The only thing worse than not showing your sense of humor is trying to show it and failing.
The reason Clinton's Arsenio Hall Show appearance was so brilliant is because it genuinely showed us another side of the man who was running for president. To think that the guy running for president was passionate about music was completely foreign to most Americans back in 1992. What was even better than Clinton's sax playing was his 2000 appearance on Roger Ebert & the Movies :
But when Bill Clinton made a guest appearance to talk about films on "Roger Ebert & the Movies" Sunday night, he was surprisingly relaxed -- hardly at all like a public figure trying to act like a regular guy. Maybe that was because the president seems to have actually put some thought into why he likes the movies he does. And even if you disagreed with his taste, you would have to admit that he did a better job articulating his opinions than your average dinner party guest.
. . .
When Ebert mentioned "Three Kings," Clinton, with puppylike enthusiasm, cut him off. "I loved 'Three Kings,' did you like 'Three Kings'?" he asked as if he hoped that Ebert would agree, but was ready to go to the mat if he didn't. Oddly enough, although many liberal critics have accused "Three Kings" of whitewashing the Gulf War -- in a recent "Sight and Sound" piece, Village Voice critic J. Hoberman cluelessly treats the movie as just another glorification of a clearly unnecessary war -- Clinton seems to grasp just what the movie is about.
In fact, Clinton was more articulate about "Three Kings" than many critics were. He saw the movie as an indication that we need to face up to society's "oldest, most primitive problem, our tribalism, our tendency to go beyond a natural pride in our group, whether it's a racial or ethnic or religious group or whatever," which results in "fear and distrust and dehumanization and violence against 'the other.'"
(You can hear MP3's of the show
here or download parts
1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6, &
7)
This episode of Ebert's show is a perfect example of why people call Bill Clinton a "perfect politician". While being relaxed and accessible, Clinton articulately discussed some of his favorite movies, while at the same time bringing the discussion back to politics. John Kerry can and should do this. It's obvious from the VH1 special that John Kerry isn't pop-culturally illiterate. He knows what's going on, he just needs to relax and "hang out" with the American people. Here's a few ideas :
Host a special on MTV in which you talk about your favorite records. Have it be documentary-style, wherein he flips through his record collection and as he talks about songs/bands he loves, videos are cut in. Maybe include a reunion with the former members of his 60's band The Electras.
Write an article for Rolling Stone about how star-struck he was when he met John Lennon. Talk about his thoughts about the hippie movement before, during, and after his experiences in Vietnam.
Make some semi-regular appearances on late-night talk shows and don't talk about politics. Lighten up and talk about the same stupid shit we are like Janet Jackson's boob, American Idol, etc.
Making John Kerry more likeable wouldn't be hard to do. All he has to do is chill out and let people get to know him a little. Not only would this make Kerry seem more approachable, but it would go a long way toward having the American people give him the benefit of the doubt when evaluating Bush's meritless and/or hypocritical attacks ("flip-flops", war record, "funding our soldiers", etc.)