Cheers and Jeers: Thursday

From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...

In the "Advanced Battle Tactics" chapter of his new book, How to Win a Fight with a Conservative, Dan Kurtzman shows how Republicans lean heavily on "logical fallacies" to try and win arguments.  He defines logical fallacies as "the three-legged stools of faulty reasoning that conservatives use to prop up many of their ridiculous ideas." See if these sound familiar...

False Choice: Offering only two options for consideration when there are clearly other valid choices.

Example: "If we give up the fight in the streets of Baghdad, we will face the terrorists in the streets of our own cities." ---George W. Bush

Strawman: Oversimplifying, exaggerating, caricaturing, of otherwise misrepresenting your position without regard to fact. In doing this, your opponent sets up a figurative strawman that he can easily knock down to prove his point.

Example: "Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war; liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers." ---Karl Rove

Shifting The Burden of Proof: Presenting an argument as commonly accepted truth, failing to support it with any evidence, and then forcing you to prove otherwise. This tactic is employed out of laziness or to mask the reality that the facts are not on your opponent's side.

Example: "I think the burden is on those people who think he didn’t have weapons of mass destruction to tell the world where they are." ---[Former White House press secretary] Ari Fleischer, on Saddam Hussein's alleged WMDs

Slippery Slope Leaping to wild, sometimes inexplicable conclusions---going, say, from Step One to Step Two and then all the way to Step Ten without establishing any discernible connection. By using this kind of leapfrog logic, a person can come to any conclusion he damn well pleases.

Example: "All of a sudden, we see riots, we see protests, we see people clashing. The next thing we know, there is injured or there is dead people. We don’t want to get to that extent." ---Arnold Schwarzenegger, on the dangers posed by gay marriage

It's a quick and often funny read, with simple and solid advice for swatting down nutty conservative ideas with ease. Special bonus: it's lead-free!

Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!]  RIGHTNOW!  [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, August 16, 2007

Note:  West-coasters rejoice!  Tomorrow is all about you.  Join us for a late-edition C&J around 4pm PDT (7pm EDT).  Heavy refreshments will be served (the rum balls weigh 2 pounds each).

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By the Numbers:
Days `til Christmas: 131
Days `til the "War on Christmas": Zero, Baby!  Attack!!!  Kick O'Reilly in the holiday nuts! (But do it politely...)
Percent of Baghdad residents who have a family member or friend who has been killed or wounded since 2003: 77%
(Source: Harper's Index)
Percent of July attacks that killed or wounded American troops in Baghdad that were caused by Shiite militants: 73%
(Source: Lt. Gen. Raymond Odierno, the #2 commander in Iraq, via USA Today)
Percent of national news on Russia's largest independent radio network that management says must be positive: 50%
(Source: Harper's Index)
Number of letters in "That ain't very independent": 23

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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:

Some of the press is starting to get the drill.  Give us something like the West Virginia [Sago] coal mine disaster, and instead of standing around emoting like Geraldo Rivera, a few reporters have enough sense to ask the obvious question: What is this mine's safety record?  And when it turns out to be abysmal, a few more reporters have enough sense to ask: Who's in charge of doing something after a mine gets 205 safety violations in one year?  Where's the Mine Safety and Health Administration?  Who runs it?  What's their background---are they professionals or mining industry stooges?  Who's the Michael "Heckuvajob" Brown in this outfit?  Why are so many jobs at MSHA just left completely unfilled?  How much has MSHA's budget been cut since 2001 to pay for tax cuts for the rich?

The great irony is that this was supposed to be the CEO administration.  Bush was supposed to put people in charge of government who had track records in private industry, who did in fact know how to run a railroad.  For just sheer incompetence, this administration sets new records daily.  All those years the right wing sat around yammering about government incompetence, and it took this administration to make it true.
January 12, 2006

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Puppy Pic of the Day:  "Fourscore and seven Milk-bones ago..."

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CHEERS to Rove's legacy.  Watching the buzzards pick over "Bush's Brain" has been an exercise in sweet schadenfreude (The Washington Post's Harold Meyerson penned a typical post-mortem yesterday).  But I believe Americans as a group could write his epitaph in four simple words: His shit did stink.  Meanwhile the next person to occupy the Oval Office will take on a new title for the first time: Pooper-Scooper-in-Chief.  Hip-waders will be provided.

CHEERS to the YearlyLetsDoSomethingAboutNOLA conference (via Kossack joejoejoe).  If you're in the vicinity of the Big Easy August 24 through 26, consider this your invitation to attend the Rising Tide 2 bloggers convention:

Rising Tide 2 is a conference, a party and an opportunity to learn where New Orleans stands two years after the failure of the federally-built levees following Hurricane Katrina.  The weekend schedule of events is organized and presented by New Orleans bloggers in an effort to bring real-life activism to their online visibility.  This year, Rising Tide will present author Dave Zirin, engineer Timothy Ruppert ,"Fix the Pumps" author Matt McBride, and panel discussions featuring New Orleans bloggers, authors, community activists and political muckrakers. Naturally, there's a party, and on Saturday we'll have lunch from legendary New Orleans restaurant Dunbar's.

You can register online or call 866-910-2055 for more info.  It'll be held at the Yacht Club so bring your white scarf and a stiff upper lip.

JEERS LIBERALS SUCK to jumping the shark.  It's over, Wikipedia.  When Fox News trolls heroes and the CIA start editing entries willy nilly to save the homeland, it's over.  Glad I hung onto those 1962 Encyclopedia Brittanicas.  (Did you hear? Nixon says we won't have him to kick around anymore!)

CHEERS to today's essay question.  Listen carefully: While conservatives continue to fume over the cancellation of the Democratic presidential debate on Fox News, the Republican presidential candidates still haven't accepted Air America's offer to host a debate of their own.  Why is that?  You have 20 minutes...GO!

CHEERS to apples that are REALLY ORANGES WITH APPLE SKINS!  The Freakonomics guys have moved their blog to The New York Times web site.  The two Steves---Levitt and Dubner---are always thought-provoking, if not maddeningly droll about their conclusions.  Still, using their method of looking for consequential connections in unexpected places, I was able to determine that the actions of short-sighted assholes can cause Wall Street jitters.  Spooky, huh.

JEERS to Diplomacy 102: How NOT to Do It.  President Bush is labeling Iran's Revolutionary Guard a terrorist group.  If history is any guide, he'll now spend the rest of his term not being able to find them.

WHOOPSIEDAISY! to Senator Ted Stevens.  McClatchy sheds more light this morning on why Dr. Tubes be in deep doo-doo:

The FBI is investigating the National Science Foundation's award of $170 million in contracts to the oil field services company that oversaw renovations on U.S. Sen. Ted Stevens' home, McClatchy Newspapers has learned.

The firm, Veco Corp., captured a lucrative five-year NSF contract in 1999 to provide logistics and support for polar research, although it had no previous experience in that field.  During the same time period, Veco's top executive managed renovations that doubled the size of the longtime Republican senator's Girdwood, Alaska, home---the scene of a July 30 FBI raid.

Veco's founder and CEO, Bill Allen, pleaded guilty this spring to making $400,000 in illegal payments to Alaska lawmakers, including Stevens' son, Ben, who was then president of the Alaska Senate.  Allen is cooperating in a sweeping FBI corruption investigation that also has led to the conviction of a second Veco executive, a lobbyist, and a former Alaska state representative.

C&J urges Americans not to make any judgments until we actually read the headline STEVENS GUILTY---JUDGE DELIVERS HEAD ON PLATTER.  Until then, try and keep it to a low snicker.

CHEERS to riding the rails.  109 years ago today, in 1898, Edwin Prescott patented his design for a "roller coaster."  It was followed the next day by a patent for "Ye Olde Vomit Bucket."

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Gong!  Gong!!  BuddaBuddaBudda... GONG!!!

This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man.  Kossack Gobacktotexas asks: "Guantanamo Bay like a little Hawaii?"

Aloha!!!

Now back to Cheers and Jeers...

Gong!  Gong!!  BuddaBuddaBudda... GONG!!!

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CHEERS to overdue departures.  Dennis "The Refrigerator" Hastert won’t be running for re-election next year.  The former Speaker says it's time for a change of pace.  Instead of sitting around the House doing nothing, he plans to sit around the house doing nothing.

JEERS to drinking government Kool-Aid.  Remember last November when the USDA erased the word "hunger" from their vocabulary and replaced it with the bureaucratic term "food insecurity"?  I'm sad to report that the National Priorities Project has adopted it, too.  I expect soon we'll be hearing about the growing number of "food insecure, domicile-free, casually-dressed, debtless, leisure-time-enhanced citizens."  And their snooty, snooty lifestyle.

JEERS to overstraining.  On August 16, 1977, while going poopies, 42 year-old Elvis Presley's heart exploded and he died at 3:30 p.m.  Tonight we add a new ingredient to our rum and Coke: Metamucil.  Pay your hunka hunka burnin' respects here, darlin'.  Thankyuhvrrrmuch...

JEERS to toner terror.  As if it's bad enough we have to worry about Chinese lead in our Tinker Toys, now an Australian study says you shouldn't sit near your printer.  Apparently, the dust it kicks up may be as harmful to your health as second-hand smoke.  And people laughed at me for sticking with carbon paper.  Who's laughing now!

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One Year Ago in C&J: August 16, 2006...

CHEERS to Chuck Roberts.  The CNN anchor sincerely apologizes to Ned Lamont for suggesting he's the "al Qaeda candidate."  But the "Bad Karaoke candidate" label sticks like glue.

JEERS to the silly question of the day.  Fox News asks:  THE #1 PRESIDENT ON MIDEAST MATTERS: George W. Bush?  Do you guys mind if I answer this one?  NOT IF YOU WERE THE FIRST, LAST, AND ONLY PRESIDENT ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH, PAL.  Thanks---that felt good.

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And just one more...

JEERS to the next victim in the henhouse.  Rupert Murdoch managed to sink his snaggleteeth into the Wall Street Journal.  Now we're hearing that he's got his sights set on The New York Times.  This calls for netroots action NOW!  I'll handle all the logistical and coordination responsibilities.  What I need from you is very simple: five billion dollars.  If half a billion Kossacks give just ten dollars each, we're there.  Don’t think about it, just do it...Quickly!!  Let this be the Blogosphere's Greatest Moment!  (Online transfers to my Swiss bank account are preferable to checks.  Euros only, please.)

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Oh, and a big welcome to C&J's newest splasher in the kiddie pool.  (Thanks for the link, Nonie.)  Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless Testimonial:

"Quit already!"
---Markos Moulitsas, signing my C&J Friends 4-Evuh! autograph book at YearlyKos '07
8/2/07

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