Top Story: Homosexuality rampant in GOP!

The GOP has a real problem. It's becoming quite apparent that just about every Republican male in the US government today is actually gay, and for a party that is so intolerant of homosexuality in general the question becomes, what do they do?

The obvious answer is that they could banish those gay members from the party, from the  movement in general. Seems like the obvious course of action. But then if 95 percent of the Republican party currently holding office is gay, that leaves you with only the members that aren't white christian men, which amounts to a total of five people. We're basically talking about the end of the GOP as we currently know it. Overnight, gone.

They could try to reform all those white Christian males of their homosexuality. But who knows how long that would take. We could be talking years of intensive therapy for hundreds, perhaps thousands, of fifty and sixty-something white Christian men in secluded locations beating on pillows or doing god knows what. That would seriously interfere with their fundraising time.  And meanwhile the Democrats are taking over? No, that doesn't seem such a good idea after all.

So, they are in real tough place. You gotta have some sympathy.

The other alternative is that the Republcan party could just embrace homosexuality (thereby embracing each other.) A new era of tolerance would begin in the GOP. All of those poor suppressed souls suddenly out of the closet, moving in with their former campaign staffers or whoever. Just imagine that. What a great thing for the country - no longer will the rest of us have to pay for their inability to accept who they are. Maybe they wouldn't be so prone to invade defenseless countries, punish the poor, roll back civil rights. Maybe just because,  you know, they might be happier people. It would truly be a new morning in America. Wow! It could happen!!

Oops. Sorry - what was I thinking?

It seems we all have a problem. Them.