Hillary hatred: A snap, apologies, and hiatus

I have been an active member of this site for four years or so, and in that time, I've always been able to remain civil, promote discussion, ask controversial questions without offending, use my TU status for good instead of evil, and make (or at least attempt to make) a daily substantive contribution to the community.

Last night, after perhaps too many glasses of wine and waaaay too much anger building inside me as I was reading another 100 or so articles on Hillary Clinton, something rubbed me the wrong way in an upthread posting, and I snapped.

I'm not sure how or why Hillary Clinton is able to arouse such intense emotion in some people (on both the left and the right).  But there's some real hatred there which, even as someone who can write detailed, well-sourced essays about the 18 specific reasons I don't support her for President, seems to be almost visceral, not logical.  

I do believe that Clinton would make a very bad President, but that alone doesn't explain the hate.  I think Giuliani and Huckabee and Grandpa Fred would make bad Presidents, too, but I don't hate them.  I just disagree with them.  Why is Hillary different?  Yes, I am passionately opposed to some of the recent changes to our Democracy, and yes, I believe that Hillary Clinton would be the one candidate (on either side) who would further our slide into a dynastic corporate oligarchy.  But even that doesn't justify the intense anger I feel lately when I hear her speak.  

There's a great line from War of the Roses from Kathleen Turner, trying to explain to her husband why she inexplicably wants a divorce:

Because when I watch you eat, when I see you asleep, when I even look at you lately... I just want to smash your face in.

The more I see Senator Clinton on TV, the more I feel like Elvis watching Robert Goulet.  There's a point in which anger builds up to a kind of blissful irrationality, in which a profanity-drenched over-the-top tirade (such as my post last night) can feel cathartic.  As someone who rarely uses profanity, never raises their voice, has never hit or been hit by anyone, and who is universally known as a nice, mind-mannered individual, the only outlet I have to release strong emotions is through words (well, or music, but at 5:00am last night, I couldn't exactly hop on my drumset, now could I.)  

Anyway, it's time to take a deep breath, admit that politics makes me just too angry to be a healthy obsession, and take some time off (from not only Kos, but other political sites as well.)  

Passion is a good thing, and I believe what we're fighting for is a good cause.  But I know I'm not the only one here who sometimes lets passion flip an internal switch that shouldn't be switched.  I know I'm not the only one here who has "lost it" when talking about Bush, or the Iraq War, or maybe Hillary.  It's that shaking, arrogant, "why can't other people see the truth as I see it!!" mentality that leads to the complete disrespect and dismissal of not only opposing viewpoints, but even the people who share those viewpoints themselves.  

This website has been really good to me.  I've met great people over the years, read some wonderful articles, and had hundreds of stimulating and eye-opening debates.  But it also is occupying hours --- many hours --- of every single day of my life this primary season.  As a business owner, I can't afford to read "just one more article" which I know is going to get me riled up, and then having to post "just one more comment", etc.  Time lost is money lost, after all.  So I suppose it's best I take a break, anyway.  Can't help the Michigan economy if I go out of business.  

If you were one of the handful of people who read my comically hyperbolic anti-Hillary tirade, I very humbly and sincerely apologize.  (I suppose calling attention to it in this diary will mean more people will read it, so apologies in advance to you, too -- although really, I'd kinda rather you didn't go out of your way to find it.)  

I promise I'm not a bad person, nor intolerant, nor sexist, nor a Republican.  I'm just someone who needs a weeee bit of a break from all this political stuff right now.  I think if I separate myself from the source of the anger, maybe I'll be able to uncover why on earth I can have an irrational hatred for someone I've never even met.  If anyone else is in my boat (and from reading some of the more incendiary anti-Hillary diaries, I know I'm not alone here), I hope you'll take a moment to ponder this question yourself.

Politics is simultaneously the most important thing in the world, and also, well, just "politics."  I think we all can use a "time out" on occasion.  And mine is way overdue.

Thanks everyone, and have a very pleasant, calm, rational, reasoned, and respectful primary season.  I'm going to find some chamomile tea.