Top Comments 4.11.08: Late-night B00bie Call

So I was looking through the library stacks the other day when a man walked around the corner, took one look at my partially bared breast and ran the other way, much as I imagine John Ashcroft did the first time he spotted the Spirit of Justice sporting high beams. And why, you ask, was I showing so much skin?

I wasn't. I was nursing my baby in her sling and trying to get something done at the same time, just as I am right now. Baby Monkeybiz is a grazer, nursing a little here and a little there and not always when it's convenient for me. (I am told that efficiency is the enemy of children and I sometimes wonder if it isn't the other way around.) Her chubby cheeks are a testament to her eating habits and, reluctantly, I've just started her on solid food with a few spoonfuls of homemade applesauce.

But I digress.

The next person to walk past was a woman who leaned forward and said, "Oooooh, she's beautiful! May I see her?" I said that the baby was nursing and hoped that our visitor wouldn't mind. She then regaled me with stories from her own days as a nursing mother, smiled, cooed and walked off happy.

That pretty much sums up the dichotomous responses I've received when I nurse in public -- either people get squicked out or nostalgic. I'm not militant about public nursing and I'm usually discreet; if we're in a high-traffic area, I cover up completely. It just annoys me that some people get so angry when a woman uses her breasts to perform the job they were made to do. Or have I developed an overly utilitarian view of my own boobs?

Then there's my best friend. She strides into her favorite bar in a "Feel Your Boobies" T-shirt and ends up telling a dozen people about how important breast self-exams are. Yeah, she gets looks and leers... but she works it with a purpose and I'm proud of her. (Unlike Li'l Kim. Cover them up, honey. We can do your BSE from here.)

Yeah, okay, a little envious too. Especially when she's out having a drink and I'm here in front of the computer with a Boppy on my lap and a baby sticking her tongue out at me, as she does every three hours or so. Or more. Some days, I'm the living binky. Once, several years ago, I was nursing Boy Monkeybiz -- I was exhausted, unshowered, frazzled -- and my DH looked in and said, "Moooooo." Set phaser to KILL.

I like nursing; it works for us. I'm not up for donating milk, but it can be done. See the International Breast Milk Project. One of the nurses who took care of me when Baby Monkeybiz was born pumps every day and ships her milk off to mothers who don't have enough of their own. Kudos. What a great thing.

But when the nursing's done, I am going out and buying the bestest bra ever in part because of this post, on self-fitting, from Knickers: A Lingerie Weblog. I can't vouch for the site, but I love this line:

Don’t panic if your test size sounds too big/weird/no-way-am-i-that-size/am-i-a-mutant.

Because OMG, I have been hung up on size since the Puberty Fairy visited. As I've gone up and down in weight, especially through pregnancy and nursing, I have jealously guarded my bra size as though it were that pair of jeans that proves that I really am a 6 Petite, dammit. There's just no way that I could have been some mutant size, nosireebob.

You're grossed out by public breast-feeding? Okay, fine. (Oddly enough,Wal-Mart supports it. Who knew?) Me, I'm all hinked out about a little old lady groping me in a fitting room. Thank you, no. So I have suffered from... inadequacy. Underwires that poke out. Cups that overflow. Straps that just cannot be short enough and leave indentations like a flying monkey's been perching on my shoulder.

So I've decided to take my utilitarian views and march them down to a fitting... eventually. I plan to nurse as long as I can not least because of the possibility of reducing my cancer risk. And -- after all these years -- because it's kind of funny to see guys have second thoughts about boobies.

Now for something completely different: Tonight's Top Comments picks.

If you spot a comment worth wider readership, send it to topcomments(the at sign)gmail.com by 9:30 p.m. Eastern.

From Executive Odor:
This comment from agnostic. (M.: It's from this diary.)

From lineatus:
From a sucky diary that didn't even rise to the level of a comment, comes this from darthstar.

From kath25:
PBen on renaming Atlanta.

From jnhobbs:
In the excellent Black Kos: Week in Review diary this morning, fat old man shares some life experience and asks a good question.

From noweasels:
This touching comment from be the change you seek in greenies' beautiful tribute to two Korean War soldiers who are finally home IGTNT A Cause for Celebration and a Joyous Thing is a tragic reminder of the wide heartbreak of war.

From Land of Enchantment:
Pacotrey made me chuckle in Booman's Senate diary.  Two parents up to get the full effect.

From WSComn:
Poor Makesmeralph just found out some seriously bad news... Fortunately, Trix rides to the rescue with some great advice!!

Top Mojo graciously provided by brillig and her slithy toves. I gyre and gimble in thanks.

Top 31 (including ties) Top Mojo excluding Tip Jars, C&J and Mojo Friday comments:

 1) We'll see. by Bob Johnson — 338
 2) Our hope is that with the attention by Barry Welsh — 268
 3) "she does not know how to answer it" by teacherken — 152
 4) "Anti-Hillary screeds" by Bob Johnson — 133
 5) the video report by Billary Redux — 115
 6) Pittsburgh by mattinjersey — 113
 7) But Krugman doesn't tell the whole truth by FishOutofWater — 104
 8) and there's that inappropriate laughter again---- by dotster — 98
 9) Here's a good video about Street money in SC by Shhs — 92
10) Actually the registrations by Barry Welsh — 90
11) It's really too bad by interdependence — 83
12) I said this in the other poll on the same subject by Saska — 76
13) I've already given up 10 percent by doorguy — 74
14) Thank you for updating us on the situation by smash artist — 66
15) That's a Clinton talking point by barath — 64
16) You're not even close by Inland — 61
17) She didn't compete in more than a dozen states. by Bob Johnson — 61
18) Having grown up in by Heart of the Rockies — 60
19) Matt reports from the ground by mattinjersey — 59
20) Wow, a guy has to be quick on the draw here! by Scott Kleeb — 59
21) The real issue by Heart of the Rockies — 57
22) He needs to address this in a speech. by ObamaManiac2008 — 56
23) That's not what happened by ItsJessMe — 54
24) I wouldn't quite call it a near-meltdown by bythesea — 53
25) I thought it was illegal to not by DJShay — 53
26) THANK YOU!!! by Bindle — 51
27) the torturer in chief - ugh by peace voter — 51
28) Mostly i have tried to stay neutral by ETinKC — 49
29) Yes, which Hillary do we get? by Imipolex — 49
30) I don't like the way Clinton has run her campaign by Jeff Y — 49
31) As ever--
fabulous work by Delilah — 49

Top 30 Top Mojo with no exclusions:
 1) TIPS/Recs Appreciated! by IndianaDemocrat — 429
 2) tips by poblano — 381
 3) tips by picohertz — 379
 4) We'll see. by Bob Johnson — 338
 5) Tip Jar by gjohnsit — 290
 6) I'm apologizing in advance by Congressional Candidates Wife — 271
 7) Our hope is that with the attention by Barry Welsh — 269
 8) here he is by buhdydharma — 224
 9) Do with this what you will by teacherken — 208
10) Imagine, this is what it's come to . . . by nyceve — 202
11) Mojo Mug by TexDem — 201
12) The Lounge is Open by TexDem — 178
13) Happy Friday TexDem by vigilant meerkat — 174
14) Hi, VM by ER Doc — 161
15) "she does not know how to answer it" by teacherken — 152
16) Should I Feel Victimized If You... by The Field — 151
17) I do them by TexDem — 149
18) Brought to you by BooMan23 — 144
19) This diary will go over big at MYDD ....LOL ...NT by humphrey — 143
20) Tips for the road weary by TeamsterPower — 142
21) Boy is it going to be hot here today by vigilant meerkat — 140
22) What type did you get? by vigilant meerkat — 135
23) "Anti-Hillary screeds" by Bob Johnson — 133
24) They are totally worth the $$$ by RhymesWithUrple — 133
25) Yep by TexDem — 127
26) Yes, there is, and I would by blue jersey mom — 125
27) Whooooopeeeee! by MKinTN — 122
28) We got the LG portable ones by RhymesWithUrple — 119
29) Mojo for all, and time to put impeachment back on by blue jersey mom — 116
30) the video report by Billary Redux — 115