But I don't WANT to vote for poop!

Scene: A school's auditorium, outfitted with voting machines. A long line trails from row of machines. A group of people in the line are wearing "Hillary is 44" t-shirts. A couple enters and approaches a poll worker sitting at a table.

Husband: You can sign in first, dear.
Wife: All right.
Husband (to poll worker): Good morning!
Poll worker: Good morning.
Husband: Well, we're here to vote in the general election. Who's on the ballot?
Poll worker: Well, there's Barack and Webb, Paul and Gilchrist, Barr and Gilchrist, McCain and poop, and poop and poop.
Voters with t-shirts: Poop, poop, poop, poop...
Wife: Have you got any non-Democrats without poop?
Waitress: Well, there's the poop party, that's not got much poop in it.
Wife: I don't want any poop!
Husband: Why can't she write in Clinton and poop?
Wife: That has got poop in it!
Husband: It hasn't got as much poop in it as poop and poop, has it?
Voters with t-shirts: Poop, poop, poop, poop! (Louder)
Wife: Could I vote for McCain without the poop, then?
Poll worker: Eewwww!
Wife: What do you mean, 'Eewwww'? I don't like poop!
Voters with t-shirts: Strong poop! Nuclear poop!
Poll worker (to voters with t-shirts): Shut up!
Voters with t-shirts: Non-elitist poop! Hardworking poop!
Poll worker: Shut up! Bloody Hillary supporters. Listen, you can't
have McCain without the poop.
Wife (shrieks): I don't like poop!
Husband: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll vote for poop. I love it. I'll have a ballot for the poop party!
Voters with t-shirts: (singing): Poop, poop, poop, poop! Vote for poop!
Poll worker: Shut up! No, it's got to be McCain and poop, poop and poop, Barack and Webb, Paul and Gilchrist, poop, Barr and Gilchrist, or poop!
Husband: Well, you can write in "poop" as a protest vote.

(Inspired by this diary.)