I've got a couple e-mails from
Soonergrunt, our kos-brother serving in the National Guard in Afghanistan. The first came while I was traveling after YearlyKos. The second is from this weekend. They show the professionalism and kindness we expect, but they aren't as reassuring as we might hope. I hope he has some time off tomorrow (it's already tomorrow in Afghanistan) to read your comments here on the 4th of July. He knows I'm posting today.
I just got back off after five days of back to back missions, and no doubt the conference is over.
It's very hot here right now. I've been busy with both my missions and also preparing a report for my commander when he arrives.
What you can tell everybody is that I'm mostly OK and very busy. The pollution here is 20 times worse than Los Angeles according to the Public Health Officer. Fecal matter makes up a significant part of it. I've got a sinus infection to beat the band.
I hope you had fun at YK (I'm so very jealous--want to trade?) and that you enjoy the rest of your trip.
Stay well, and God Bless, [Soonergrunt]
Things here are about as well as can be expected. My infection has cleared up. I have moved to a Forward Operating Base (FOB) and so I am out of Kabul. Kabul's air is about 20 times more polluted than Los Angeles, so I am not missing it. The air here is cleaner, if thinner. The enemy is also a lot closer. The other day on patrol, I had my watch shot off my wrist.
My primary responsibility is to provide security for the FOB and also to provide extra manpower for the mission main effort, which is training the Afghan National Army, so from time to time, I go out on patrols with the Embedded Training Team and their ANA unit.
When we go out on missions, we see various things. The country is starkly beautiful. The level of poverty here is mind-numbing. We have several projects going on in villages around here. We build school-houses quite a bit. The current goal is that every village with more than a certain number of girls will have their own building for girls' school. That way they don't have to share with the boys. We also fund projects to build wells, as well as try to keep wells from becoming contaminated when we can. One problem here is that local security forces aren't worth shit. Many times they're corrupt, infiltrated, or just plain useless. The Taliban threatens the villagers from time to time, particularly about educating their daughters. In many of the towns, the Talibs have been run off by the local people. Most towns are friendly and pro-government, some aren't. We need to keep things this way, but when the people get frustrated because things the government promised them aren't happening, or the government isn't providing security, that gives the opposition room to come in.
I know that it's a popular meme in the press that we are loosing this war here, but so far as I can see, that is not the case (YET.) We make a difference in the lives of the Afghan people every day. Just the other day, a farmer on one of the main roads stopped a US convoy and showed the crew where a huge IED was buried in the road. He risked his life, and the lives of his family to do that, and he did so without asking anything in return. That tells me that we're doing something right. Having said all of that, we aren't doing as much as we could be doing. We're not losing here, but we aren't winning either, and it comes to the same thing. For us, not winning equals losing.
As for the current offensive, that's other people's work. I have my own mission.
Newsweek has recently been running some stories about Afghanistan. A lot of what you find in there seems to be pretty accurate from what I can see. They could do a better job of covering the Afghan government and army so that people would understand these two institutions, but over all I think they've got the flavor if not the details. We learn a lot from our interpreters. They are our eyes and ears, and they earn every penny we pay them. Most of them must live on the compound for days or weeks at a time, as they risk their own lives when they go off camp by themselves.
Stay well, [Soonergrunt]
Newsweek stories on Afghanistan:
To the Front
65 Afghan militants killed in gun battles with troops
Rockets slam Afghan coalition base
2 U.K. soldiers killed in Afghanistan
Karzai blasts U.S. for firing near protesters
Now for the fun portion of our programme. I've chosen as this diary's fun theme a favorite I know will please Soonergrunt: PowerPoint. Please provide your favorite PowerPoint jokes below. The photo above shows how Soonergrunt is doing PowerPoint now and here's a couple military PowerPoint quotes to get the ball rolling.
"No bastard ever won a war by making PowerPoint slides for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard make PowerPoint slides for his country." [apologies to] Gen. George S. Patton
"While you were making your slides, we would be killing you." - Russian Officer
"Power corrupts and PowerPoint corrupts absolutely." - Vint Cerf, Internet pioneer
"Using PowerPoint is like having a loaded AK-47 on the table: You can do very bad things with it." - Peter Norvig, Google
"You can't speak with the U.S. military without knowing PowerPoint."
- Margaret Hayes, National Defense University
"The idea behind most of these briefings is for us to sit through 100 slides with our eyes glazed over, and then to do what all military organizations hope for ... to surrender to an overwhelming mass." - Richard Danzig, Navy Secretary
Ballad of the PowerPoint Rangers
(To the tune of "The Green Berets")
Requests are made, from day to day,
Briefings held, and changes made.
Graphics slides, a must they say,
and PowerPoint is the only way.
Computers crash, and printers stall,
Overloading protocol.
Network's down and soldiers cry,
Briefing's late so heads will fly.
Pin PowerPoint Slides upon my chest,
Full-color slides, they look the best.
One Hundred Slides were made that day,
But only 3 were ever displayed.
A smile came on the General's face,
Slides were done and looked just great!
T'was up all night, worked really late,
Just to hear, the General state:
My soldier son, your slides were great,
Briefing's done, slides up to date.
One problem son, the color's wrong,
One more chance, or you go home.
So tell my mom, I've done my best.
Pin PowerPoint Slides on my chest.
One hundred slides were made that day,
But only 3 were ever displayed.
MSG Steven W. Rowland
412th Engineer Command
(PowerPoint Ranger)