The Fear Before the Launch

I received a copy of my new book, The Uprising, in the mail today from my publisher. It is fresh off the printing press. Opening the package was half anti-climactic, and half frightening.

The anti-climactic part has nothing to do with the content of the book or the public reaction (it's not out yet so there hasn't been any yet) - and it is, admittedly, a little silly. But there's just something weird about putting two years of your life into something - from traveling, to reporting, to editing, to re-editing, to proofing, etc. - and then having it all be in one neat place, all laid out and ready to be consumed by the public. I looked at the book, and part of me was like, wow - two years of grueling work - and it's all boiled down into 386 pages. Kinda crazy.

The frightened part is that part about public consumption. This book mixes hard-core reporting with a firsthand, very personal narrative, and now, in three weeks, it is going to be out there for the world to read. That's a little scary, because to date, almost nobody has read it, so I really have no idea what to expect as a reaction, especially since this book throws more than a few punches and goes to a number of places that have garnered almost no real coverage. And this says nothing of the fear of how the book will perform. That is the great unknown that haunts every writer who wants to continue to try to eke out a living as a writer - every project is based on your last performance. How well your current work does in the marketplace often dictates whether you will be given another opportunity to write in the future (this is why it is so important to buy books from writers you like, and buy magazines that you support - your purchase is a way to make sure that those writers and publications continue to produce in the future).

From my first book, Hostile Takeover, I've learned to get used to some of these feelings - but I'm told by more seasoned writers that you never really get used to it...ever. Writing - and media in general (especially progressive media) - is a very tough business. It requires regular 16 hour days to scratch and claw into the debate. This book represents 2 years of those 16 hour days - so I guess it's natural to feel a little nervous.

Then again, that doesn't make this any easier - what does is the community here at DailyKos and throughout the Netroots that has been so supportive of my work. I've said it before, and will certainly say it again - but it's important for folks here to know how important your help has been. Anyone in the progressive movement who tells you they can be successful without help from folks in the movement is either lying to you, or is not a real progressive. So, to end this rambling Saturday afternoon post, I just want to offer up a sincere thank you - and I hope to thank many of you in person on the book tour (full schedule here).

I insisted on doing as big a tour as possible because the uprising I document is a truly grassroots, national phenomenon - not something isolated in any region or city. And I'm looking forward to getting out on the road to meet as many people as possible. Thinking about that - and getting excited for it - is one of the few things helping me stay calm as the publication date nears.