I'm a white guy. Raised Catholic, although I became agnostic some time in my teens.
In the town where I grew up, I was aware of exactly one black family. The oldest son went to Catholic grade school with me. We weren't close friends, but we got along OK. At least, I think we got along OK. It's weird, but I never really thought of him as black. I mean, I knew he was, but I had no real idea that different races might have different racial identities.
So what I'm saying is that I'm about as whitebread a guy as you can get.
I really don't think I have a racist bone in my body. My prejudices are reserved for stupid people for the most part.
But I have felt, on several occassions in my life, confused. Usually, it involves things like walking through South Philly years ago and growing increasingly uncomfortable with the looks I got from folks on the street (all black).
Another time, I was sitting in a bar next to a deli I used to work in. One of the other regulars, a black guy, was sitting next to me. We "knew" each other to the extent that we were both regulars and saw each other in the bar fairly often. So I said "Hey buddy, let me buy you a beer." His immediate response was to jump up and with a truly angry expression on his face, yell at me "Don't call me boy!"
I was nonplussed. He and I had both had a few, but I don't think either of us was particularly inebriated. I tried to explain that I'd never do such a thing, but he took my explanation as an attempt to call him a liar.
Eventually, he let me buy him a beer, but I really don't think he believed me.
I don't think I'm a racist, I really don't. But episodes like this leave me wondering "what the hell did I do?" What could I have done differently?
The reason I ask is that I now live in NC. I live in the most progressive town in the state, arguably in the entire South. But I still notice a separation exists among the races here. Not exactly like there's any overt hostility, just separation.