POLL! More Bush-speak to help McCain, hurt Obama

Here we go again. The Mouth of Bush speaketh yet another time with its last gasping, dying breath. It senses November approaching and knows that the End is Near. So what's there to lose?  I am sure you've all heard statements from Bush administration and so-called Iraqi government regarding something something troop reduction/withdrawal something. I call it "so called" Iraqi government because it would not last a month without direct U.S. logistical, military and financial support. Please join me as we look at this latest attempt by Bushists to say nothing concrete yet appear to promise something the voters want.

As you may well know,Bush and Maliki say that troops should be cut and possibly withdrawn "sometime" in some undefined "future" based on some unmeasurable standard

also another article, from NYT

Right. This is the art of meaningless political rhetoric taken to its absolute worst! But you gotta applaud the effort. America, don't fall for this! There is no intention to withdraw. They just want to look less extreme and more Obama-like in that they want to cut the troops and withdraw "eventually". Like the guy that owes me $200 will "eventually" pay me back. If they succeed in making Iraq withdrawal issue less critical in the minds of the voters, or in making democratic and republican positions appear more or less the same, McCain will have much easier time in general election.

I am guessing the conference between two "leaders" from the above article went something like this:

Once Upon a Time, on a videophone to a Country Far Far Away...

Bush:  Maliki, ole buddy.. you know, I want to stay in Iraq forever. So does John McCain. That's why we pour billions into some of the biggest, most permanent-looking in the world "temporary" military bases in your country.

Maliki: Right.

Bush:   This Obama guy.. if he wins, he WILL pull out, and then you are very likely dead meat. So, it is in your personal interest to have McCain elected and keep my party in the White House.

Maliki: Hmm....

Bush:  I got your back, at least until "Jah-nooary Owe Nine", heheheh <smirk>.. but after, who knows? So you can help yourself by helping us hold on to the White House!

Maliki: How would I do that?

Bush: Well, dang, we just need to make it LOOK like we MIGHT some sunny (hehe) day withdraw the troops! So we don't look so extreme and stoopid to the voters.. That will help us hold on the the White House. All YOU have to do is announce that you want us to get the heck out one day. I will then pretend to argue, a little, then reluctantly agree, sort of, to troop cuts, some day. After all, you are the "independent" Iraqi government <wink wink>... so you are running your country, not us <grin/smirk/wink>

Maliki <smiling>: Well, there is this problem of credibility, though, isn't there? You said no to time tables and no to definite withdrawals before. So did McCain. Would it not be seen as empty political posturing or flip-flopping?

Bush: Maliki, you still need to learn. You just gotta say it the right way. And the right way is the way you gotta say it. <Bush thinks for a second, with his patented "lost deer in the headlights"(tm) look>
You need the right people around you to teach you these things. Like my friend Dick. He and Karl. They'll take care of it.

Bush dials Karl Rove on the phone.

Bush: Karl.. we need some more political double-speak. I want to talk about Iraq troop withdrawals. But I don't want to promise anything, or say anything of substance. No time tables. Nothing that can ever be pinned on me, or McCain. I just want it to look good.

Rove: No problem. But you gotta stop calling me at this hour. How many times do I need to tell you that you can do it yourself without calling Daddy Karl for help. Just take the concrete things you would say if you MEANT it, and replace them with vague things that are so vague and broad that they mean NOTHING. So, let's try. What would you say if you WANTED to withdraw from Iraq?

Bush: That's hard work!! <thinks hard> I would say "We're going to set time-tables for troop reductions based on realistic goals toward specific improvements that must be made by the Iraqi government".. hehe..almost broke my tongue on all that straight talk... Hard work!!!

Karl: Well, then.. replace "specific time-tables" with "general time horizons".. "realistic goals" with "aspirational goals".. "specific improvements" by someone with "general improvements" by no one... and what do you get?

Bush: Karl, I love you. You do a heck of a job! We will agree on aspirational goals toward general time horizon for troop reductions based on general improvements on the ground! .. or something like that. That's beautiful.

Karl: Right.. the bill will be in the mail. <hangs up>

Bush: You see, Maliki? This way we will all look GOOD. You will demand timetables and look independent. I will show flexibility and respect for your independence by agreeing in principle. McCain will agree on these "aspirational goals" "when the job is done" hopefully without mentioning 100 years of more war and occupation. That way, we will LOOK like we intend to withdraw, which, of course, we don't. In the minds of the voters, though, that will decrease the difference between Republicans and Democrats on Iraq. All they will remember is that they both intend to eventually pull out! That may just be what we need to hang on to the White House.

Maliki: Just one problem.. Do you really think U.S. voters are so damn foolish that they will accept your "time horizons" and "aspirational goals" after everything you have done? They will believe this rubbish? Perhaps they will just ignore it as more Bush-speak.

Bush: Of course they will accept it! The important thing is that we need to associate "republican" with "withdrawal from Iraq"...I've done these things for eight years! You just gotta make the lie so BIG, so intolerably, incomprehensibly HUGE, and wrap it in patriotic words or meaningless sentiments and it works every time! Besides, what do we have to lose? I have a secret saying..Fool you once, fool you twice... You WILL get fooled again!"

Maliki: Great! When do we begin?

THE END.