Your Abbreviated Pundit Round-up

Wednesday's a good day to abbreviate.

Maureen Dowd:

Maybe instead of refighting the Vietnam War while we’re still fighting the Iraq war, the candidates can figure out how to feed the world, find enough fuel for everyone and oh, yeah, catch that bin Laden fiend who’s running around free.

Word. And while we're at it, maybe the Army can lay off the Air Force and stop stirring up intra-service resentments. I hear the Marines do all the work, anyway.

Chris Suellentrop: Since conservatives have decided the timing is right to publish the multi-volume definitive "What has Bush accomplished?" (e.g., the earth – despite protests from some of the religious right – is no longer considered the center of the solar system, and the 24 hour day has become standard in most parts of the country along with useful international standards such as soccer, Japanese cars, the Spanish language and the euro), a critique from other conservatives is in order. In particular, the idea that there were no attacks during Bush's reign is dismissed as dangerous. Such ideas might lead to credit for Democratic administrations like Bill Clinton's and that can not be permitted to happen.

Ruth Marcus: Some flip-flops are good. For example, I'm doing a flip-flop after complaining about Obama's campaign finance flip-flop by highlighting some McCain flip-flops (but dismissing the idea that any of it matters, because like most WaPo columnists I secretly believe in most of McCain's positions, like off-shore drilling and his assessment of the Iraq war even though the most serious flip-flop is McCain on taxes.) So, enough with the flip-flops. They confuse me, and I'm already confused.

Michael Gerson: Obama didn't really earn his current position; after all, he's no intellectually honest heavyweight like George W. Bush, who accomplished everything in life on his own.

John Stossel:

So let me stop here to repeat that. We are not in a depression. We are not even in recession. Get a grip, guys.

What's with the doom and gloom? People may be suffering but as long as I have a job writing this drivel how bad can it really be?