From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Here's my condensed version of Russell Shorto's New York Times Magazine article on gay marriage foes:
Right-wing Bible-thumpers want gay people to disappear from America so they can pursue their lollipop dreams of an Ozzie & Harriet world. Duh.
But what caught C&J's eye was the amazing psychic stunt Mr. Shorto performs at the end of the article (brackets are mine):
When I met [Lisa] Polyak [who, with her partner Gita Deane, are plaintiffs in an ACLU lawsuit in Maryland], she told me how, when she first testified before a legislative committee, an anti-gay-marriage activist, a woman, confronted her with bitter language, asking her why she was "doing this" to the woman's children and grandchildren. Polyak said the encounter left her shaken. A few days later, as I sat in [anti-gay activist] Evalena Gray's Christmas-lighted basement office, she told me a story of how during the same testimony she approached a blond lesbian and talked to her about the effect that gay marriage would have on her grandchildren. "Then I hugged her neck," she said, "and I said, 'We love you.' I was kind of consoling her to some extent, out of compassion."
I realized I was hearing about the same encounter from both sides. What was expressed as love was received as something close to hate. That's a hard gap to bridge.
Two different accounts. One woman's word versus another's. The journalist, Mr. Shorto, did not witness the encounter. And yet, he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Bible-thumper Gray is right and lesbian Polyak is wrong. To Mr. Shorto I say: clear a wall in your den for all your future Pulitzers. With such astounding psychic powers, you're going to earn a boatload of `em.
By the way...you just witnessed the birth of my first text box. It's a girl. Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Cheers for Tuesday, June 21, 2005...
Note: Cheers and Jeers is also a kewl temporary tattoo! Moisten skin and apply C&J face-down for 30 seconds. Lift carefully. Tattoo will last for approximately 5 days. (if applying on your tuckus, shave first.)
By the Numbers:
Days `til July 4th: 13
Days `til the Bangor State Fair: 38
Cut in federal funding for PBS and NPR next year, as approved by the House Appropriations Committee: 46%
Alleged payments by the Republican chairman of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting for background reports on the political leanings of PBS guests: $14,170
(Source: Time)
Cost of taking a family of 4 to a major league baseball game, including tickets, food, drinks, programs, and parking: $164.43 (Up 70% from a decade ago)
(Source: AP)
Cost of taking a family of four to watch me shuck corn on my front stoop: $164.43 sounds good.
Your Puppy Pic of the Day A sign you've had too much to drink: "Awww...good doggie. Dat's a good doggie. Give Mamma a big old kissypoo..."
CHEERS to summer. The first full day of the hot season begins in your neck of the woods today. Not here---we're still waiting for the groundhog to make up its damn mind. Check back on July 4th.
JEERS to one bamboozle attempt too many. In his Saturday radio address, George W. Bush dusted off his Big Lie and said we went to war with Iraq because "we were attacked" on 9/11. America's response (via the latest USA Today/CNN/Gallup poll)? "Mr. President, you're an idiot". Can't wait to see how he townhallmeetings his way out of that.
CHEERS or JEERS to throwing a tattered hat into the ring. Joe Biden says he'll probably enter the '08 presidential race. C&J shall carefully weigh his pros and cons...but not for a couple years. For now, though, here's your Early Bird prize Senator: we're upping the interest on your credit cards.
JEERS to getting shut out. Speaking of Biden, did you know he's not allowed to be with families when their relatives come home from Iraq in coffins? "I'm allowed in the military base. I'm not allowed to go to the mortuary. I'm not allowed to be there when the flag-draped casket comes in." Rumsfeld: Resign.
CHEERS to Portland, Maine. We're one of the greenest cities in America. And as soon as we catch those leprechaun graffiti vandals, they're goin' down.
JEERS to teasing America. CIA chief Porter Goss---that coy little prankster---says he has an "excellent idea" where Osama's bin hiding. But we're not going to catch him because that would mean sending troops into a country that aids and abets terrorists. And if it's one thing we know about Bush's foreign policy, it's "If you're not with us, you're...something something something now where's my GameBoy?!"
JEERS to letting "them" fight the war. New York Times columnist Bob Herbert echoes sentiments expressed here at Daily Kos exactly: "It's easy to be macho when you have nothing at risk. The hawks want the war to be fought with other people's children, while their own children go safely off to college, or to the mall. The number of influential American officials who have children in uniform in Iraq is miniscule." In fairness, have you been to the mall lately? (That Orange Julius stuff goes through Kevlar like a hot knife through butter.)
CHEERS to the best logo of the year. What do you get when you combine the GOP pachyderm with a puddle of coward's piss? The brilliant Yellow Elephant campaign to get young Republicans to put their enlistment papers where their mouth is. The only thing we'd add is little " " marks on either side to show it shaking like a leaf.
P.S. Hey pollsters, how about putting this question to the public: "Do you want your child to help spread freedom and democracy by enlisting for duty in Iraq...or do you want someone else's child to spread freedom and democracy by enlisting for duty in Iraq in your child's place?"
CHEERS to Butterball. 223 years ago today, Congress approved the bald eagle over the turkey as the U.S. symbol. It just didn't taste as good with cranberry sauce.
CHEERS to his Royal Hunkiness. Prince William---the royal bro' smart enough to not dress up like a Nazi---turns 23 today. He'll graduate from St. Andrews University on Thursday. They grow up so fast...
JEERS to John Bolton. The November 2 "mandate" took another hit as Democrats successfully blocked a vote to approve the U.N.-hating hothead to be U.S. U.N.-hating Hothead to the U.N. After hearing the news, Bolton's cat packed a bag and moved in with the neighbors.
CHEERS to the wearer of the pants. Why isn't Jeb Bush running for president? According to U.S. News: "Friends say it's his wife, Columba, who closed the door. `His wife has just said no,' a close Bush Florida political pal tells us." She loves America too much.
JEERS to losing one of our own. Rep. JJ "Jake" Pickle---an ass-kicking Texas Democrat---has died at 91. Said he: "Other than the long commute to and from Washington and, starting in the 1980s, the increasing partisanship of Congress, there was little I didn't like about being Congressman Pickle." File this one under: They Don't Make `Em Like They Used To.
CHEERS to Down Arrows in all the right places. Newsweek's Conventional Wisdom Watch savages Bush, Frist and Bush. To be continued...
JEERS to Mother Nature's headgames. Today's the longest day of the year. Tomorrow isn't.
C&J Flashback: June 21, 2004...
JEERS to the lazy media, Part I. Michael Moore's money quote on This Week with George Stephapalooza: "The great thing about this country is, you as journalists get to ask any question you want in this country. Literally, you can ask any question you want. No one will arrest you. Why weren't the questions asked? Why wasn't it put to this administration? You know, why didn't anybody say, `Whoa, wait a minute, we're not sending our kids off to die.'" You could literally see the words go in George's right ear and come out his left.
JEERS to the lazy media, Part II. To commemorate an especially tumultuous year for gay rights, Southern Maine stages its largest gay pride parade in years. The Portland Press Herald's coverage? Nada. (But thanks for the front-page story on the Jehovah's Witness conference.) [6/21/05 Update: No coverage this year, either. We're starting to get a complex.]
And just one more...
CHEERS to over-over-over-achievers. "The one on the lower left is for eating alllllll my peas!" (When they're not on parade they make great wind chimes.)
Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless Testimonial:
"Cheers and Jeers is nowhere near the last throes. Matter of fact it's getting worse, not better."
Sen. Joe Biden
6/19/05
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