Odd Foods
In this case I'm not talking about things like Anchovies or Fiddleheads or Shad Roe, instead I'm talking about regional peculiarities, childhood favorites, and stuff you can't get any more.
Trappy's Louisiana Hot Sauce
Let me start by bemoaning the disappearance of Trappey's Louisiana Hot Sauce which is no longer available within 20 miles of Stars Hollow. What was nice about Trappey's (especially the yellow label) is that it wasn't particularly hot, more tangy with vinegar which is a taste I like a lot. Plain red label was a little hotter than that and 'Red Devil' hotter still. As far as hot goes nothing is hotter than Tabasco as far as I'm concerned and about it's only quality is heat which I prefer to add through Cumin. Likewise Frank's Red Hot which is widely available and in addition to being the original Hot Wings sauce is better than Tabasco, but that's faint praise.
I've found a private brand at Doose's which is about 'Red Devil' equivalent so it's ok if you don't use too much. Among the things hot sauce is good with are rice and beans (especially with a little garlic powder and butter), eggs, cheese, meats (pork and chicken mostly, beef and fish not so much) and Bloody Mary's (always use V-8).
Kraft Miracle French Dressing
Another thing I miss is Kraft Miracle French Dressing (as you can see my google didn't come up with much). At Emily's table when I was growing up a salad was iceberg lettuce, wedged tomatoes, and Miracle French. Sometimes Richard would screw up at the market and get Catalina which in my youth I rejected as too sweet and tomatoey. Currently it has re-appeared after years of absence from our shelves and my mature palate thinks it mostly acceptable though much better if you add a little garlic powder.
Catalina is also thoroughly emulsified whereas Miracle French separated rapidly. The Catalina I remember was extremely creamy and the current version appears more granular (shaking does not improve this much).
Here is the web's most popular substitute recipe. I haven't tested it, but it makes sense.
I grew up on Kraft Miracle French, and like others hate that it is not available. However, I have developed my own version that my family thinks is better. In fact, my niece who is now 27 will only serve this one, and it is simple. I make a larger batch in a cleaned out, empty Mayonnaise jar or something similar.
3 packets of Good Seasons ITALIAN.
Follow the directions in a LARGE jar.
When you have everything mixed, add about 1/3 cup ketchup and about 4 TBSP sugar.
SHAKE or WHISK very well to blend. |
Allow to chill before using. This will keep for a long period in the refrigerator. It is the closest I have found to Kraft Miracle French. I just decided to try some different things and this worked. It is great on salad. I have substituted TOMATOE PASTE ( using less ) for the ketchup, but I have found the ketchup to be better. And, Heinz ketchup seems to be best.
From Larry in Naples Florida posted by jen3314 |
History of French Dressings
Miracle Whip
If you do poke around in teh google you'll find that a common confusion between Miracle French and Miracle Whip. The one has nothing at all to do with the other.
I agree with most tasters that Miracle Whip has more zing than ordinary mayonnaise, my brother (who hates things vinegary) says it tastes too much like vinegar though I suspect the flavor differences are more complex. I don't like Hellmann's because it's bland and eggy.
A sandwich that I like is Hard Salami with Miracle Whip. Split two pieces of bread. Spread it on the bread and cover with slices of Salami, both pieces. Add a layer of Mustard, I like Gulden's. Cover one or both pieces with a layer of Provolone and add a layer of Kosher Dill Pickels, thinly sliced lengthwise, to one piece. Bring both halves together with the pickels in the center.
Here's another Gilmore family recipe-
My secret whip fetish.
Sigh.
It started as a little boy. Richard and Emily were very strict. It wasn't enough for them to serve up the pig skin straps, no, they liked the whip. First they'd scorch us until we were dark and hard and stiff and then they laid on the whip all greasy and thick. Then they'd cut us until the red swirled down the drain and cover our raw, oozing surfaces with more whip. They'd pour salt in our wounds and pepper us with insults. Next the straps, lots and lots of strapping. And more whip, can't have enough whip. They'd let us relax, then more whip and another scorching. Finally they'd press us down like panini, saw us up and down and diagonally.
It was a hard existence, hard on the arteries. |
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Sugar
In addition to High Fructose Corn Syrup the other ingredient of childhood is sugar. At the Gilmore's there is only one Peanut Butter and that is Skippy's Super Chunk. Alas it doesn't taste like fresh peanuts quite as much as Jif (choosy Moms and all).
What makes Jif taste better is sugar and if you want to zing up your food processor pulverized raw roasted home made you'll add as much sugar and salt as it takes to make it taste good (or your body can handle, but it really doesn't take very much).
Among the sticky sweet childhood memories I don't miss is chocolate flavored peanut butter and that peanut butter and jelly mix that they squirted in bottles like Stripe. Marshmallow Fluff is something I actually ate once or twice, though ripe bananas are much tastier and better for you. Welch's Grape Jelly is something you should avoid even if it wasn't politically incorrect.
Regionality
I'm only half troll but I'm a quarter viking, by which I mean that Emily was born under the bridge and my Granddad (one of them) was a moody dane.
Let's talk about pasties. I hate them. Two or three lumps of root vegetable (potatoes, carrots, turnips, onions), a lump of meat and a lump of lard in a pie. 4 and twenty blackbirds my oh my.
Most people don't like lutefisk. I'd rather have smoked salmon, but they lye process olives too. Them I don't like so much.
When I travel the country as I do on occasion I look for food chains that we don't see in the Northeast so much like Friendly's or Bickford's. I love Waffle House hash browns though I have no doubt they're very bad for me.
I get Hummel hot dogs when I can.
One part of my troll heritage is the true brown cow-
- 1 Scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream
- Vernor's pop to fill
Meta
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