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In the early 90's, my stepmom gave me a gift that I thought was a bit bizarre. It was a book with this redheaded woman in cowboy boots sitting behind a log with her feet propped up next to a typewriter. The name of the book was, Molly Ivins Can't Say That, Can She?
After a few moments of wondering who this woman was, and upon inspecting the jacket, why I should care about a columnist from a Texas newspaper, I figured that my stepmom was (still is) one of the smartest people I knew, and that was reason enough to read the book. And thus I was introduced to the incredible wit, wisdom and talent that was Molly Ivins. She played no small part in keeping me sane during the horrendous and dark Bush years.
Three years ago today, Molly Ivins died of cancer. Inflammatory breast cancer, to be exact. She'd fought it for years, and I find myself wishing (a LOT lately) that she'd won that battle, because I would love to know her thoughts on what's going on right now in the world of politics. I think she'd have liked Friday.
So tonight, let's recall some of her wit (and wisdom). And let me note before we embark - there is just so much great work of Molly's out there that winnowing out those that were listed here was DAMNED hard, and completely subjective. I invite you to visit my source and have fun! The creators.com website has her columns since 1996. Her books, Molly Ivins Can't Say That, Can She? and Nuthin' But Good Times Ahead have earlier columns. Shrub (with Lou Dubose) covers Dubya's early political years and Bushwhacked (with Lou Dubose) covers part of his first presidential term. I can't recommend these books highly enough - even if the subject matter seems outdated (though as you'll see below, it's really not), the wit and talent is too damned enjoyable to miss. And this is just a partial bibliography - she has written more books, including one that was published after her death called Bill of Wrongs. Three years ago, we lost a treasure.
On the idiocy of Republicans in general:
February 11, 1996:
I'm not a campaign consultant, but the lack of ept in the Republican Party is so dire that it's a patriotic challenge for us all.
From January 4, 2005:
Oh boy! Starting the year off briskly, lending it such tone already, such cachet, such je ne sais quoi — those Republicans are so special, aren't they? Their first move, first rat out of the trap, top priority: lower ethics standards. Yessiree, this 2005 is going to be quite a year, some pip.
From May 4, 2006:
Dec. 16, 2005, is a day that will live in infamy in the Hall of Fame of Unintended Republican Consequences.
A bunch of the guys were just noodling around in the House of Representatives in Washington, see, kind of fooling around with the idea that they might get some traction out of immigration as a hot-button issue....
Trouble is, they played the card, tried to make every illegal worker in the country a felon and woke up the Sleeping Brown Giant, instead.
From June 20, 2006:
Gee, the Republicans seem to have lost their moral compass since Tom DeLay quit. Who knew it could get worse without that pillar of rectitude from Texas? What a snakes' nest of corruption and nastiness.
From October 31, 2006:
There's so much evidence stacking up in the "Can't These People Do Anything Right?" File, you'd suspect their secret strategy is to reward incompetence. It's like the hiring of Michael "Brownie" Brown at FEMA or John Bolton at the United Nations — it's just hard to imagine why.
It's deja vu all over again - just with different players.
From March 21, 1996:
Just a few days ago, I swore I had lit my last candle for President Clinton. The occasion was his dizguzting reappointment of Alan Greenspan as chairman of the Federal Reserve Board.
What have any of us ever done to Clinton that he should have sicked that malodorous residue of bovine digestion on us again?
She goes on to describe Greenspan as miserable excresence who looks like he was weaned on a pickle. Vintage Molly! The article is actually about a bill signed by Clinton, but I thought the lead-in was apropos.
More (somewhat depressing) evidence of plus ca change, plus la meme chose. From August 22, 1996:
If liberals could be organized — which is a singularly silly way to begin a sentence — they'd be outta here. Out of the Democratic Party.
The degree of disaffection and disgust about President Clinton's signing the welfare bill cannot be exaggerated. If Republicans want some good news, it's that a lot of progressive Democrats will be sitting on their hands this fall. Or voting for Ralph Nader.
On Tom DeLay:
From April 13, 1997:
My, my, my, our Texas boys in Washington are certainly distinguishing themselves these days, aren't they? Our boy Tom DeLay, the House minority whip and former exterminator from Sugar Land, added luster to our reputation for gentle manners and civilized behavior by shoving a congressman from Wisconsin on the House floor and apostrophizing him as "a gutless chickens—-." Now they know: Not everyone from Sugar Land is sweet.
From October 21, 2003:
What I like about the new radical, right-wing Republican takeover of this country is how easily they blow past all our defenses against deja-vu, they-all-do-it cynicism.
There you are — thinking you're way too old and have been around this block too many times to suddenly up and evince moral outrage over a little callousness here or a dollop of favoritism there. Suddenly, you find yourself whomperjawed, outraged, stupefied with disbelief...
My latest walking-on-water moment came whilst I was reading an Austin American-Statesman article about Brother Tom DeLay, now the second-most powerful man in America, right after Dick Cheney.
On Dubya:
Just because she mentions Shrub, and because we get a horrifying preview of what the Bush II years would be like - from May 8, 1997:
Look out! Heads up, here it comes. Uts deregulation is upon us. Gov. Shrub Bush has endorsed a plan that ingeniously combines the worst elements of the several choices available on this issue, and it's starting to move in the Legislature.
As the Houston Chronicle pointed out in an exceptional piece of public-service journalism on May 1, almost every member of the House and Senate committees who will vote on the bills to deregulate utilities has received campaign contributions — in most cases many thousands of dollars — from the state's largest utility companies.
All 11 members of the Senate's Economic Development Committee got campaign moolah from Houston Industries (parent of Houston Lighting & Power), Texas Utilities, Central & South West Corp. and Texas-New Mexico Power Co. — as did 13 of the 15 members on the House State Affairs Committee. In addition, the same players got contributions from Enron Corp. and Destec Energy, both large, independent power concerns that stand to make a big load of money from deregulated electricity. Enron is probably the largest single lobbyist on the uts dereg issue and a major player at both the state and the federal levels.
Note the shocker about Enron....
From January 20, 2004:
My fellow Americans, the state of the union's finances is enough to make an Enron accountant gag. When George W. Bush took office, he was handed a going concern. Projected annual surpluses from 2002 to 2011 were $5.6 trillion
From February 3, 2005:
I don't get it. The divide between the rhetoric and the reality in this administration is larger than I can span. The dissonance between the noble ideals expressed and the nasty actions is too raw for me.
For example, Bush announces: "Our founders dedicated this country to the cause of human dignity, the rights of every person and the possibilities of every life. This conviction leads us into the world to help the afflicted, and defend the peace, and confound the designs of evil men." (I got that nugget from the 2003 State of the Union via an article by Bush speechwriter Matthew Scully.) So how come we give less to the afflicted than any other advanced nation?
From May 31, 2005:
As a longtime fan of both George Bushes' eccentric grasp of English, I naturally enjoyed this gem from W.: "See, in my line of work, you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda." (Bush in Greece, N.Y., May 24, once more explaining his Social Security plan to a town hall meeting of perfectly average citizens, except they had all been pre-screened to allow only those who agree with him into the hall.)
From November 3, 2005:
While it's still an open contest for Worst Legacy of the Bush Years, the destruction of goodwill for America around the world is definitely a contender.
On the war in Iraq:
From May 22, 2003:
Much as I hate to interrupt what is apparently a deeply felt triumphalism on the American right, now that it's over, does anyone see any reason for our having invaded Iraq?
From February 20, 2004:
Just for the record, since the record is in considerable peril. These are Orwellian days, my friends, as the Bush administration attempts to either shove the history of the second Gulf War down the memory hole or to rewrite it entirely. Keeping a firm grip on actual historical fact, all of it easily within our imperfect memories, is not that easy amid the swirling storms of misinformation, misremembering and misstatement. But since the war itself stands as a monument to what happens when we let ourselves get stampeded by a chorus of disinformation, let's draw the line right now.
From December 22, 2005:
It is clear we will need to practice hard on our credulity in the future just to get a grasp on how dumbfounding the entire Iraq War is. We need credulity up to the Wonderland White Queen's standards, believing as many as six impossible things before breakfast every day -- practice, practice, practice.
From June 1, 2006:
So, Haditha becomes another of the names at which we wince, along with Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo and My Lai.
From August 26, 2003 - about the Governator (pre-election):
One problem I have with Arnold Schwarzenegger is that he looks like a condom stuffed with walnuts.
The visual alone had me snorting coffee on the keyboard.
And finally, a link to Ivins' final column, published 3 weeks before her death. She's calling for us to voice outrage over the 'surge' and ends her final column thusly:
We are the people who run this country. We are the deciders. And every single day, every single one of us needs to step outside and take some action to help stop this war. Raise hell. Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous. Make our troops know we're for them and trying to get them out of there. Hit the streets to protest Bush's proposed surge. If you can, go to the peace march in Washington on Jan. 27. We need people in the streets, banging pots and pans and demanding, "Stop it, now!"
Thank you so much, Molly. Miss your voice still.
Here are tonight's Top Comment nominations:
From eyesoars:
I loved jhop7's assessment of dealing with Republicans
in srkp23's diary, Volcker Op-Ed: Look out, big banks. Change is coming.
From cedwyn,
Who thought that this comment by Sibyl Liberty was hilarious.
From kirbybruno:
"Westboro Baptist Church Pwned" produced many snort laughes, but here is one of my favorites by OtterQueen
From sardonyx:
In Devilstower's always excellent Sunday essay, this week entitled Sometimes It Rhymes, MikeBoyScout reminds a commenter of contextual facts, and comes up with a characterization of Alan Greenspan that truly packs a stunning wallop in very few words. (I did rather like happymisanthropy's slight emendation down thread.)
G2geek has a long comment on reaching the Teabaggers.
My picks:
In webranding's diary A Shout Out To The Daily Kos Front Page, agnostic lists some great reasons to appreciate this site. I'm all about snark and sarcasm appreciation!
Along the same lines, mydailydrunk lists other good reasons here, and starts a fun conversation.
joanneleon gives some really great advice here. I really, truly think that the world would be a better place quickly if more of us took it.
I loved pvlb's assessment of the Obama/Biden dynamic, but I think that it was the ingenious suggestion of what to do with the power of their smiles that ultimately made me just love this comment.
Patric Juillet made me giggle with this list. #5 in particular.
I liked this suggestion about dealing with Fred Phelps hatemongers from Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
It's getting so that it wouldn't be a TC diary by me if I didn't include a post from JekyllnHyde. This post describes the devolution of communication, and explains why R's are apparently dominating Twitter. Starts a fun conversation, too.
brillig is tonight's Top Mojo heroine - thank you, brillig!!!!
Top 30 (plus ties) Comments excluding tip jars, first comments and stuff:
1) Thanks blackwater dog by bethcf4p — 164
2) One of my favs by pkbarbiedoll — 129
3) He's anti-everything, as far as I can tell. by FLRealist — 116
4) classic pwnage by mydailydrunk — 116
5) I still say we've got the two hottest by Liberal Granny — 100
6) One of the signs posted by the WBC crowd by Christian Dem in NC — 95
7) One of my favorites by MinistryOfTruth — 93
8) SUPERB diary! by APA Guy — 81
9) and FLOTUS! by Eileen B — 81
10) Suhweeet! Thanks for the report. I love it! by marabout40 — 75
11) Shakespeare in Love by JekyllnHyde — 72
12) Your wish is my command by Trix — 71
13) The man lives by getting people to attack him by expatyank — 66
14) The funniest one by sidnora — 64
15) Exactly. by Shadan7 — 63
16) Feedback from parent of 2 on the spectrum... by grannyhelen — 62
17) rahm doesn't matter by Turkana — 62
18) "But measles isn't that bad!" by Phoenix Woman — 62
19) Every Drug & Vaccine..... by Rimjob — 61
20) Should be repeated 1,000 times: by BlackSheep1 — 61
21) This is going to sound cheesy, but I do not mean by BFSkinner — 60
22) Important story by decembersue — 59
23) The Man Went to a Basketball Game by JekyllnHyde — 59
24) Thanks for the "facts" by Rosemary F — 59
25) The Church of I hate You by Andrew C White — 59
26) i despise this man by jlms qkw — 58
27) I was promised donuts by kismet — 57
28) What a crock. by Lying eyes — 57
29) "God Hates Signs" by dpwks — 57
30) Cheers & Jeers by absdoggy — 56
31) And he's obviously so unpopular with the masses.. by HeadnHeart — 56
Top 30 Comments with no exclusions, aka the Tip Jar & Pooties list :-):
1) Tip Jar by blackwaterdog — 623
2) Tip Jar by jetskreemr — 589
3) Tips/Flames by Rimjob — 431
4) Alms (tips) by Muskegon Critic — 289
5) Tip Jar by webranding — 260
6) fix and pass. by Turkana — 241
7) Tip Jar by WanderMan — 186
8) Tip Jar by whoknu — 171
9) Thanks blackwater dog by bethcf4p — 164
10) TIPS by Trix — 142
11) Tip Jar by TexMex — 133
12) One of my favs by pkbarbiedoll — 129
13) Tip Jar by LaurenMonica — 125
14) classic pwnage by mydailydrunk — 116
15) He's anti-everything, as far as I can tell. by FLRealist — 116
16) Whoops, there's your problem... by it really is that important — 102
17) Tip Jar by Frederick Clarkson — 101
18) remember by whoknu — 101
19) Tip Jar by bobswern — 100
20) I still say we've got the two hottest by Liberal Granny — 100
21) Wonderful job, whoknu. It is appreciated. by triciawyse — 98
22) One of the signs posted by the WBC crowd by Christian Dem in NC — 95
23) Not that anyone would want to return by Ebby — 94
24) One of my favorites by MinistryOfTruth — 93
25) A stealthy kitty is ready for the by kerflooey — 93
26) Sometimes it's hard to find a private place by Ebby — 85
27) this is my first diary by Wordsinthewind — 82
28) SUPERB diary! by APA Guy — 81
29) #sekrit airforce checks in by enhydra lutris — 81
30) and FLOTUS! by Eileen B — 81