Last week, as we were lamenting the Senate defeat of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell repeal, a 13-year-old California boy named Seth Walsh gave up on a different kind of battle – one that many of us grow up to (almost) forget about, but one that is just as real as the discrimination in the military. Seth, like so many other LGBT teenagers, went to school every day only to face relentless and cruel harassment by his peers. And Seth, like so many others in the same seemingly hopeless situation, decided to take his own life.
He was found on Sunday, September 19, unconscious and not breathing. He had put a noose around his neck and attempted to hang himself from a tree branch. After he was found, he was taken by helicopter to a hospital in Bakersfield, where he remains in a coma and on life support. According to a family member, Seth is a "kind-hearted boy who is fighting for his life."
Seth’s suicide attempt is just the latest in a long line of suicide attempts by LGBT teenagers facing bullying. I never tried to take my own life, but I can say that I know what it feels like to want to die. As a gay boy, I went through middle school dreading every day of school. I wasn’t out to anybody, but my peers decided that they didn’t need my confirmation to call me “faggot” and sexually harass me day after miserable day. I didn’t tell my parents, I didn’t tell my teachers or administrators. Teachers who witnessed the abuse didn’t report it. I went to bed every night wondering why I had to be different and fearing for my safety the next day. I decided that being dead was probably better than what I was going through.
I somehow made it through my middle school years and have grown into a secure, openly gay adult. I don’t think about my childhood experiences that much, because – as anybody who has been seriously bullied can tell you – memories are a painful thing. Words like “faggot” create wounds that don’t get healed very quickly. Yet, even though I suffered a great deal, I’m lucky. I didn’t make that final decision to take my own life, as Billy Lucas of Greensburg, Indiana, did earlier this month, and as countless other LGBT teenagers have done and continue to do. I struggled through it, and I now realize that, painful as my experiences were, taking my life would have been a tragic mistake.
According to GLSEN, almost 9 out of 10 LGBT teenagers experience what Billy Lucas experienced, what Seth Walsh experienced, what I experienced. 9 out of 10 LGBT teenagers have been harassed. Almost two-thirds of LGBT teenagers feel unsafe because of who they are.
Many of those teenagers make the decision that Billy Lucas and Seth Walsh made. These teenagers feel trapped in a world of cruelty and name-calling – a tunnel with no light at the end of it. It’s so important that these kids know that, as Dan Savage and his partner Terry Miller in the video below put it, it gets better. It gets so, so, so much better. Every LGBT teenager struggling in a hostile environment needs to hear this message:
In the meantime, we grown-ups have a lot of work to do. It is unacceptable that H.R. 2262, the Safe Schools Improvement Act, has not passed yet. Yes, we need ENDA; yes, we need to repeal DADT; yes, we need to pass UAFA; yes, we need to achieve marriage equality. But let’s not forget about the bill that would go a long way toward creating a safer environment for LGBT teenagers – teenagers not old enough to know or care about ENDA, DADT, UAFA, or Prop 8. Call your Member of Congress and tell them that Congress needs to pass the Safe Schools Improvement Act. Donate to PFLAG. Donate to the Trevor Project (text TREVOR to 85944 to donate $5). Push for anti-bullying initiatives on the state level. There is so much work to be done, but if we can prevent another Billy Lucas or Seth Walsh tragedy, it will be worth it.
Oh, and by the way, click here to learn about how you can donate or send words of encouragement to Seth Walsh’s family.
We can pass ENDA and UAFA, repeal DADT, and get equal marriage rights, but as long as kids like Seth grow up in an environment that pushes them into taking their own lives, we won't have justice.