In a stunning blow to our chances for a 2012 Kirby/Olivo ticket, Steve Kirby decided today not to run for Senate in South Dakota.

Apparently, our favorite flesh-eating zombie candidate didn't want to be the laughing stock of the campaign season. Sigh...

On the flip side, Republicans have nothing to throw at Tim Johnson, the nation's most popular senator. So we have, at the very least, that consolation prize.

Race tracker wiki: SD-Sen

So our favorite flesh-eating zombie Republican promised to announce a week ago. Then he promised to announce this past Monday. Then Tuesday. Now, he's promising a decision this Monday.

Republican Steve Kirby says he will announce on Monday whether he is challenging South Dakota Sen. Tim Johnson this November.

Kirby could be the Republicans party's best hope against Johnson, a two-term Democrat who suffered a debilitating brain hemorrhage in December 2006. Gov. Mike Rounds has shown no interest in a race.

Please, please, please, please run! He's the poster ghoul for a morally depraved Republican Party, and I can't wait to smear the whole lot of them with their South Dakota colleague who pilfered corpses for skin to convert to penis-enlarging cremes.

I want this election season to be hilarious.

Race tracker wiki: SD-Sen

So with eight months to go, I figure it’s time for an updated look at all the 2008 Senate races.  There are 35 seats up for election because of a scenario in Wyoming and Mississippi where both seats are up, due to the passing of Craig Thomas and the resignation of Trent Lott, respectively.  Now obviously, quite a few of the races are considered "safe" for the incumbent.  So I’ll rank these in terms of tiers.  The top tier will be the races where there is a serious challenger to the incumbent (or at least the incumbent’s party, in cases of retirement), where the party holding the seat has a real shot of switching.  The second tier are races that could become top tier races, but are not at this point.  Tier III are ones where a major event would need to happen for the seat to come into play.  And the safe seats?  Well, Mike Gravel has a better shot at winning the presidency than those incumbents have of losing their races.

Follow me below the fold for all the races.  Note: Some of this may seem repetitive, with information you already know.  That’s because I originally wrote this for the Bruin Democrats, many of whom don’t follow the national races like we do.  Consider this a primer for both newcomers and political junkies alike.

Oh no!

Feldman Group (D) for the DSCC. 2/25-27. Likely voters. MoE 4.4% (No trend lines)

How are we supposed to get such a hilarious manifestation of the worst the GOP can offer -- a dude who scraped skin of cadavers to make penis enlargement creams! -- if the DSCC is running polls showing Kirby getting his ass whooped? This guy is pure comedy gold. He'd be the biggest gift Republicans could hand us this cycle!

We must do what we can to get him into the race!

Then again, Kirby is a sure loser. And if he got blown out, then my dreams of a 2012 Kirby/Olivo ticket would be crushed.

So maybe we need him to bide his time. Destiny is calling him, and it isn't offering up a piddly Senate seat. He can be much, much more, especially with Olivo at his side.

Race tracker wiki: SD-Sen

Speaking of partying like it's 2002, the DSCC dug up this ad run against Republican ghoul Steve Kirby by one of his fellow Republicans in the GOP gubernatorial primary:

Interesting backstory -- this ad ended up flopping. The claims were so outlandish, that people thought for sure that they were exaggerated or completely fabricated. It was hard to truly believe the extent of Kirby's moral depravity.

Too bad the ad was 100 percent completely true.

Kirby/Olivo 2012!

Race tracker wiki: SD-Sen

The DSCC has put together a website on Steve Kirby, the Republican expected to challenge Senator Tim Johnson.

On that site, they posted an ad  ad run by Republican Attorney General Mark Barnett in 2002, (embeded below) discussing his ownership of the Collagenesis, a company that kos mentioned the other day.  What is Collagenesis? They buy human skin from organ donors (meant for burn victims) and send it to comsmetic surgeons for use in such important procedures as penis englarement.

The last two days have offered up some seriously juicy material in the forms of Steve Kirby, potentially running for Senate in South Dakota, and Brock Olivo, running for House in MO-09.

The former is a ghoulish zombie who harvested skin off cadavers to turn a pretty penny in cosmetic surgery products (wrinkle removers and penis enlargers).

The latter is, well, dumb as a rock.

"Not only was I football player, but I also was in social studies class, and I have a passion for how this country works," Olivo said.

So the guy who raids corpses for profit, or the guy who thinks he should run for Congress because he took a social studies class?

Which one is more representative of the modern GOP? And no, I'm not going to offer "both" as an answer. That'd be the easy way out.

Update: Comment of the day by ogre:

2/3 Evil, 1/3 Dumb As Rock.

I think that's about accurate, as a recipe for GOP.

Race tracker wiki: SD-Sen MO-09

I dedicated my Hill column this week to my favorite Republican potential candidate, Steve Kirby.

Following the sale of his prominent Sioux Falls family’s surety bond company, Kirby branched out into more exotic business terrain when he founded Bluestern Venture Capital in 1992. Among Bluestern’s portfolio companies was a Massachusetts-based biotech firm called Collagenesis — a company whose business model couldn’t have been more foreign to the stolid world of South Dakota surety bonding.

Collagenesis specialized in processing donated skin off cadavers into cosmetic surgery products, and was subject to a blistering five-part investigative series by the Orange County Register beginning on April 17, 2000. “Burn victims lie waiting in hospitals as nurses scour the country for skin to cover their wounds, even though skin is in plentiful supply for plastic surgeons,” read the lede of the Register report. “The skin they need to save their lives is being used instead for procedures that could wait: supporting bladders, erasing laugh lines and enlarging penises.”

Suffice it to say that penis enlargement represented a slight departure from the Kirby family’s traditional business of bonding hard-working Sioux Falls mason contractors [...]

In a move that demonstrated a shocking lack of ethical acumen, Kirby only invested in the ghoulish Collagenesis after the Register exposé came out. And he proved his lack of business acumen by investing in a company that would soon be driven to bankruptcy by the fierce (and understandable) backlash the investigative report generated. What looked attractive in a spreadsheet generated genuine revulsion in the real world.

This guy will prove (black) comedy gold if he runs. And really, is there a more perfect symbol for what the modern GOP has become?

Race tracker wiki: SD-Sen

More on the NRSC's big hope for the South Dakota Senate race, I dug up that original Orange County Register special investigation into the ghouls who scraped skin of cadavers for big profit.

Burn victims lie waiting in hospitals as nurses scour the country for skin to cover their wounds, even though skin is in plentiful supply for plastic surgeons, an Orange County Register investigation found.

The skin they need to save their lives is being used instead for procedures that could wait: supporting bladders, erasing laugh lines and enlarging penises.

Donated bodies and tissue such as bones and veins are used in ways most people would never imagine, and profits are made with little oversight.

Tight federal regulations ensure that kidneys, hearts and other internal organs are funneled to patients in the greatest need. But skin, the body's largest organ, isn't covered in the law. Instead, it has become a commodity.

It is distributed by tissue banks — the nonprofit agencies that harvest skin from the dead — based on corporate partnerships [...]

LifeCell estimates the potential revenue from AlloDerm in reconstructive and cosmetic surgeries at $200 million annually, 10 times what the company could hope to make on burns.

A strip of AlloDerm can be a sling under a weak bladder. Or fill a hole left by a tumor. Or fatten lips. Or thicken a penis.

"The burn market is clearly less attractive," LifeCell President Paul Thomas said. "With plastic (surgery), it's just a much bigger marketplace, a bigger opportunity and better reimbursement."

The reason is simple. Companies charge plastic surgeons more for skin products than they do burn centers. And, in the past decade, the number of cosmetic surgery procedures soared more than 150 percent.

Burn centers pay about $6 for a square centimeter of AlloDerm. Plastic surgeons pay up to four times as much for a slightly thicker slice.

"The price is a reflection not only of sort of what our costs are but also what the market will support," Thomas said.

Collagenesis Inc. in Massachusetts can make $36,000 on skin from one body by turning it into a gel that is injected to smooth wrinkles and inflate lips.

Much of this was funded by Republican Steve Kirby, venture capitalist backer of Collagenesis Inc.,  who is now being courted into the race by a Republican Party so desperate, it's hoping to entice flesh-eating zombies from the state's cemeteries into the race.

Race tracker wiki: SD-Sen

Big decision this week for one South Dakota Republican:

WASHINGTON -- Former Republican Lt. Gov. Steve Kirby says he will decide within the next week whether to challenge South Dakota Sen. Tim Johnson this November.

I'm undecided but I am working feverishly on trying to come up with a decision in the next seven days," Kirby said Thursday.

The NRSC's been bragging about an imminent announcement of a "heavyweight" candidate for the race, but does Kirby really qualify? It would, at best, be a stretch.

Now this might be a fun race, nonetheless. I mean, how often do Democrats get to run against a guy whose venture capital fund invested in a company that stole skin off cadavers?

Following information on the Web site of Kirby's Bluestem Venture Capital, they began investigating Collagenesis, a Massachussetts-based company backed by Bluestem to the tune of a million dollars.

Two years before, Collagenesis had been the subject of an investigative series by the Orange County (California) Register that discovered the company had obtained donated cadaver skin and processed it into a very expensive product called Dermalogen, that was widely used in cosmetic surgery. The skin from one cadaver produced $36,000 worth of Dermalogen, which was used primarily to enlarge lips and smooth out wrinkles.

The Register expose thoroughly demonstrated that the cadavers were donated to tissue banks by family members who had no idea the remains of their loved ones were being used for profit in the cosmetic surgery industry. While it is against federal law to buy or sell tissue for a profit, the law allows for "reasonable fees" to cover processing costs, without defining what is reasonable. The loophole had resulted in large amounts of donated skin being used for cosmetic surgery while thousands of severe burn victims went without desperately needed grafts.

"Companies like Collagenesis that sell to plastic surgeons can afford to pay tissue banks many times more for cadaver skin than burn centers can," the newspaper explained. The ensuing bad publicity eventually scared off the suppliers of Collagenesis and forced it into bankruptcy on December 28,2001.

The issue already helped cost Kirby his primary bid for governor, and it's not exactly the kind of story that has a shelf life. And if we're busy portraying Republicans as bottom feeders, does it get any worse than this?

But aside from that, is this really the guy on which the NRSC is pinning their South Dakota hopes?

If so, things are even bleaker in their world than previously expected.

Race tracker wiki: SD-Sen

Former Republican Lt. Gov. Steve Kirby is the latest name rumored to be considering a run against Democratic incumbent Tim Johnson, and as far as names go, he's a fairly credible one. In addition to his service in the 90s, he's also wealthy and could self-fund.

Pollster unknown for a "Democratic group". 11/?. Likely voters. MoE 4% (No trend lines)

This is obviously a partisan poll, and feel free to take with the appropriate grain of salt. However, I wouldn't expect any other poll to show different results. The GOP's best hope is to find someone who can waste his own money, rather than draw from the NRSC's limited stash.

Race tracker wiki: SD-Sen

Senator Tim Johnson today released a statement declaring that he would seek a third term in 2008. This comes after weeks of speculation that he would step aside after a brain hemorrhage last December that nearly killed him.

Johnson says that he needed time after getting back to work in September before officially deciding to run again.  Thankfully, he feels up to the challenge of six more years serving the state of South Dakota.

Read on for Tim's statement and more.

So the day after I first talked about this, Mark Warner has to jump in the race and change everything, LOL.  And now, Jeanne Shaheen too!  So, here are my revised rankings of the Senate races in terms of tiers.  (Also note the change in Kansas.)  There are 34 seats up for election because of a scenario in Wyoming where both seats are up, due to the passing of Sen. Craig Thomas (R).  The top tier will be the races where there is a serious challenger to the incumbent (or at least the incumbent’s party, in cases of retirement), where the party holding the seat has a real shot of switching.  The second tier are races that could become top tier races, but are not at this point.  Third tier, not really races barring some unforseen circumstances.

Follow me below the fold for all the races.

(originally posted at the Bruin Democrats blog)

Labor Day has passed us, meaning the 2008 campaign season has really kicked off.  So, here’s my first look at the upcoming Senate races.  There are 34 seats up for election because of a scenario in Wyoming where both seats are up, due to the passing of Sen. Craig Thomas (R).  So I’ll rank these in terms of tiers.  The top tier will be the races where there is a serious challenger to the incumbent (or at least the incumbent’s party, in cases of retirement), where the party holding the seat has a real shot of switching.  The second tier are races that could become top tier races, but are not at this point.  Third tier, not really races barring some unforseen circumstances.

Follow me below the fold for all the races.  Note: Some of this may seem repetitive, with information you already know.  That’s because I originally wrote this for the Bruin Democrats, many of whom don’t follow the national races like we do.  Consider this a primer for both newcomers and political junkies alike.

Tim Johnson is back in the Senate.

The official embrace came at mid-afternoon, when senators adopted a resolution (S Res 306) extending “their warmest welcome” and expressing “their personal happiness at his return” and “their very best wishes for his continued health.”

Johnson responded with a brief set of remarks in return, declaring, “My speech is not 100 percent. The doctors tell me it will get there. But my thoughts are clear. My mind is sharp. And I’m here to be a voice for South Dakota.”

The 60-year-old senator said, “My ability to think is paramount, so I hope now as I return to my office people will focus on their work more quickly than I walk these days,” Johnson said. “This has been a long and humbling journey, a journey that has taken longer than some people have liked — and I count myself among them.”

He said, “I believe I have been given a second chance at life,” and vowed to use that second chance to continue his work for his state and nation.

“It’s great to be home,” he concluded, to a standing ovation from his colleagues.

Race tracker wiki: SD-Sen

Congressional politics is defying all electoral norms these days. Usually, parties fear retirements more than anything and do as much as they can to get their representatives and senators to run again. Last week, however, Republicans breathed a small sigh of relief when Rep. Renzi announced he would not seek re-election in AZ-1. Stuck in ethical investigations, Renzi was playing right in the hands of the Democratic argument that Republicans are ethically challenged, and he could have doomed GOP chances in his district.

Read full analysis - as well as an analysis of the South Dakota Senate race, where Republicans are also looking for a resignation to have any hope of having the seat - here, at Campaign Diaries.

He's on C-Span now giving a speech in a slurred but clear voice

Democratic South Dakota Senator Tim Johnson will seek re-election in 2008.

South Dakota Sen. Tim Johnson is giving his first TV interview since he nearly died of a brain hemorrhage in December. His interviewer will be Bob Woodruff, who is, as ABC News points out,  recovering from a traumatic brain injury himself....

"Throughout, Senator Johnson talks candidly with Mr. Woodruff about his daily struggles and his determination not only to return to the Senate next week, but to seek re-election in 2008," the network said in a release.

And tonight he'll have his first public appearance at a "Thank You, South Dakota" event in Sioux Falls. Can't make it to Sioux Falls by 4:30 today? You're in luck. You can watch it live at Welcome Back Tim, and sign a virutal welcome back card. Or you can help boost Sen. Johnson's campaign fund.

Update: Tonight's Nightline will devote the whole show to Senator Johnson's recovery.

Race tracker wiki: SD-Sen