Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that "our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over."
President-elect Bush vows that "together, we can put the triumphs of the recent past behind us."
"My fellow Americans," Bush said, "at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."
You would think those are just "general" things from the Onion, a site based on satire and humor. Well normally I laugh when reading the Onion, not this time.
[Title edited in desperate attempt to attract 1 reader]
Comics all across the country are confessing to growing apprehension as they anticipate the end of the Presidency of George W. Bush. "I walked into my Joke Manufacturing Caucus yesterday," say jester Sam Goodall, "and I swear it could have been a meeting of the GOP election committee. Pessimism so thick you could cut it with a ... damn, I can't think of a funny ending."
"We're all out of practice," consoled Jill Gilverson. "Many of us are wondering if we still have the chops. I mean, I'm not proud of this, but some days I just sent articles in straight out of the paper. The parody has been writing itself."
"Yeah, and the country has been so desperate that we could throw out almost anything and people would laugh. I mean when you're being mocked by your own government, and all your most treasured traditions are being trampled, a good laugh, even if it's a trifle hysterical, is about all you can turn to."
The January 17, 2001 edition of The Onion carried this headline:
Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'
In George Orwell's dystopian novel 1984 The Party had three memorable slogans:
War is Peace
Freedom is Slavery
Ignorance is Strength
Yesterday George W. Bush gave a speech to CPAC. Join me as we explore why when Bush speaks, Orwell turns (over in his grave) and The Onion sniggers (at seeing their faux headlines become reality).
There's no need for anonymity, though it is slightly embarrassing. I mean, you'd think a cynical, jaded, middle-aged, mid-western, mostly Caucasian male would find something better to do than obsess over every poll result, watch endless speech excerpts, and read countless diary entries with all the anxiety of having your first child.
Of course recognizing the addiction is the first step toward recovery. Unfortunately I think this might be with me for awhile - at least until November. Let me tell you my story ...
Today, as my wife, daughter, and I were enjoying some family time in downtown Madison, I picked up The Onion and stumbled across an article that, in typical Onion fashion, was low brow, adolescent humor and offensive to some. Nonetheless, it led my cynical self to a fit of laughter and, yes, tears, to the point that I had to leave the room, which was a bit embarrassing because I happened to be in a children's museum at the time.
Why do I mention this bit of irreverence (or possibly irrelevance)? Because, later in the day, a different part of me, that I wasn't sure I had, led me to weep for a reason that was the opposite of the twisted cynicism in me that finds the Onion so damn funny...
I discovered an unrepentant (even audacious!) hope as I saw this for the first time. If you haven't seen this video by will.i.am yet. Find a comfortable spot. Gather any friends and loved ones you can. Sit down. And watch it. Then come back below the fold...
My friends, let me give you some straight talk .... if you haven't watched John McCain lately, you should. It's an enlightening experience. My friends, it can be an illuminating experience. Hop aboard the Straight Talk Express and I'll tell you why.
Watching American media go back and forth over bullshit issues doesn't do a soul good.
In fact, it can be downright depressing for those of us who want to see substantive change. If we can't get people with a huge audience to discuss substance, then what hope is there that we'll get people to agree with our positions and our politics?
By creating a space between politics itself and the meta of politics, and then only giving time and attention to the latter, those institutions of power are better able not only to make stupid arguments, but also create and manipulate a hyper-reality to benefit those in power.
Democratic politics do best when the people focus on substance instead of "likeability", ability-to-have-a-beer-with-ness, and fashion, fashion, fashion.
Tonight, it was my turn to play the role of Some Freak of the Subway.
Laughing convulsively, wiping away tears, I found myself driven to such a state (during my evening commute on the BART between San Francisco and Oakland) from reading the current Op Ed piece in The Onion, satirically attributed to Jimmy Carter, and titled I Got What America Needs Right Here.
The link is below, and I am compelled to offer fair warning that—for those completely unfamiliar with The Onion—the language is extremely coarse. Those with sensibilities not well matched for such content as this are advised accordingly. Hell, I’ve been reading The Onion for years, and I was jarred. It’s absolutely not to everyone’s liking, and if my admission that I couldn’t contain myself paints me in a dark light, I’ll own that.
This will be a short diary but a very important one. I've lurked here for over a year, rarely comment, and there's one issue I've yet to see talked about. It is in fact the most important issue of 2008 and I've got a news report to back me up since we all know what the media is but more after the crease (a fold just seems a bit too harsh).
Another important assessment has been made in the battle over waterboarding.
While A G Michael Mukasey and Mitt Romney haven't figured it out. National Water Watch Has
National Water Watch, a Washington-based conservation group, criticized the government's use of waterboarding Monday, calling the practice of stuffing a cloth into a detainee's mouth, immobilizing him, and pouring water over his face and body to simulate the sensation of drowning "a tragic waste of resources."
I know this is short, but there's not much else to say. I'm ov mixed emotions about having Newsweek giving Rove a soapbox from which to spout his poison. It makes it so easy for others to give whatever he says cache or credibility. When it's probably still the same crap as before. I guess at least we know where he is, instead of wondering which swamp he's crawling around in.
Please follow below for an unbiased man-on-the-street poll of his performance so far...
This could be big -- really big. According to a new report published Monday in a major American newspaper:
WASHINGTON—Barely two months after U.N. inspectors in Iran failed to find evidence of an active nuclear weapons program, the Department of Homeland Security uncovered new information Monday proving the Middle Eastern nation has obtained literally trillions of atoms—the same particles sometimes used to make atomic bombs—for unknown purposes.
That is, truly enjoying 
