"I'm trying to learn understanding
Against the hell I can win
If you'd hold me up
Grow me up
Let me be a part of it
Give me the chance that I see
I could take me up
Raise me up
Get to know the heart of it
Give me your sweet soul dream..."

Sweet Soul Dream, World Party

Fourteen years ago on Wednesday, I celebrated, alone, the fourteenth anniversary of the day I married Lauren.

Fourteen years ago on Wednesday, Lord, it seems like another lifetime ago, it seems like something that happened to someone else, in some other life I can only look at and smile at, but no, it really was me and it really was her, it really was me and and it really was my Lauren, we really and truly stood up in front of our friends and families and our world and we swore to love each other and to live together as one until, as it said in our vows, "until we are parted by death."

This song, "Sweet Soul Dream", was our wedding song.  

Tonight, we gather to pay tribute to United States Marine Pfc. Ivan Wilson, son, brother, brother in arms and an avid surfer.    

Pfc. Ivan I. Wilson, 22, of Clearlake, Calif., died July 21 while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan.  He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 7th Marines, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif.

http://www.defenselink.mil/...

I don't know how many of you were aware of Randy Pausch, but here's a bit of his back-story.  He got a incurable pancreatic cancer diagnosis in September 2006.  He had started a lecture series before this, called the "Last Lecture," where various professors and luminaries were invited to give a lecture as if it were their last.  Professor Pausch then gave his own for-real last lecture in September, 2007.

He died today at his home in Virginia at the age of 47.

  We Shall Keep the Faith  

      Oh! you who sleep in Flanders Fields,
      Sleep sweet - to rise anew!
      We caught the torch you threw
      And holding high, we keep the Faith
      With All who died.

      We cherish, too, the poppy red
      That grows on fields where valor led;
      It seems to signal to the skies
      That blood of heroes never dies,
      But lends a lustre to the red
      Of the flower that blooms above the dead
      In Flanders Fields.

      And now the Torch and Poppy Red
      We wear in honor of our dead.
      Fear not that ye have died for naught;
      We'll teach the lesson that ye wrought
      In Flanders Fields.

   by Moina Michael, November 1918

Tonight we remember a marine who was killed in Iraq and a soldier who was killed in Afghanistan

Welcome to The Grieving Room .  

( From exmearden's diary)

A special welcome to anyone who is new to The Grieving Room.  We meet every Monday evening.  Whether your loss is recent or many years ago, whether you have lost a person or a pet, or even if the person you are "mourning" is still alive ("pre-grief" can be a very lonely and confusing time) you can come to this diary and process your grieving in whatever way works for you.  Share whatever you need to share.  We can't solve each other's problems, but we can be a sounding board and a place of connection.

This link will take you to past editions of The Grieving Room: http://www.dailykos.com/...
Here is the schedule for upcoming weeks:

July 28 - filled by Beegee Kochav
August 4 - filled by AJsDad
August 11 - filled by Dem in the Heart of Texas
August 18 - filled by bigjacbigjacbigjac (bigjac - please confirm!)
August 25 - OPEN
September 1 - OPEN
September 8 - OPEN
September 15 - filled by NewDirectionsMom

Please contact  smnytx at yahoo.com to volunteer to host an upcoming week, or respond in this diary.

The young dead soldiers do not speak.
Nevertheless, they are heard in the still houses:
who has not heard them?
They have a silence that speaks for them at night
and when the clock counts.
They say: We were young. We have died.
Remember us.

*  *  *

They say: Our deaths are not ours: they are yours,
they will mean what you make them.
They say: Whether our lives and our deaths were for
peace and a new hope or for nothing we cannot say,
it is you who must say this.
We leave you our deaths. Give them their meaning.
We were young, they say. We have died; remember us.

~ Archibald MacLeish

On July 13, nine soldiers from the 2nd Battalion, 503d Infantry Regiment (Airborne), 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team, Vicenza, Italy, died in one of the deadliest attacks on U.S. troops since the 2001 invasion. A few days ago, they were honored in Italy with a touching, traditional ceremony marking their absence, reported in Stars and Stripes. It is known as the Final Roll Call.
    Please join me over the fold for the rest of the ceremony, as we stand for those who stood for us—to honor, remember and say good-bye.  

A mild rant.  Blowing off steam in the midst of grief.

My father passed away two days ago.  Please see the substantive part of his Obituary, in today's local paper, below.  I've traveled a few hours down to the family home and am here with my mother, my sister and brother-in-law, and my brother.  We're going to be o.k. and, while aching with grief over the hole our father's (in the case of my mother, husband's) presence has left in our lives, we realize how fortunate we have been to have had such an incredible person in, and influence on, our lives.

I don't know how these things work in the rest of the country, but down here in The Deep South, everybody's got to "come by", and bring food.  It's nice.  They're nice.  They loved and miss my father, too. But, gad, please give us some time alone.

In a horrible incident on July 13th, nine precious lives were lost when the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment (Airborne), 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team out of Vicenza, Italy was attacked by enemy forces at their outpost in Wanat, Afghanistan.

moneysmith will honor four of these nine men in a beautiful diary tomorrow morning.  This evening, I bring you a tribute to the five other soldiers: Cpl. Jason D. Hovater, 24, of Clinton, Tennessee, Cpl. Matthew B. Phillips, 27, of Jasper, Georgia, Cpl. Pruitt A. Rainey, 22, of Haw River, North Carolina, Cpl. Gunnar W. Zwilling, 20, of Florissant, Missouri, and Pfc. Sergio S. Abad, 21, of Morganfield, Kentucky.

...Can't believe you're really gone for good.
I still haunt the places you once stood.
I should move on, but I never could,
Really believe that you were gone for good...

I still have your memory.
One or two pictures of you and me.
Life is long and life is tough,
But when you love someone,
Life is not long enough.  

Emmylou Harris, Not Enough

I sit here tonight and I let the memories run roughshod over me: I can remember just where I sat fourteen years ago tonight; I sat in a backyard somewhere in northern England, I sat next to my Lauren, my betrothed, just seven short days away from our wedding day.  

We had gathered with some of her friends for a barbecue and we sat together eating, drinking beer, talking, and laughing as they gently teased us over the way we kept kissing and making eyes at each other. Somewhere in a photo album packed away somewhere in this house lies a picture of the two of us that night, Lauren sat on my lap as I planted a kiss on her forehead.

  We Shall Keep the Faith  

      Oh! you who sleep in Flanders Fields,
      Sleep sweet - to rise anew!
      We caught the torch you threw
      And holding high, we keep the Faith
      With All who died.

      We cherish, too, the poppy red
      That grows on fields where valor led;
      It seems to signal to the skies
      That blood of heroes never dies,
      But lends a lustre to the red
      Of the flower that blooms above the dead
      In Flanders Fields.

      And now the Torch and Poppy Red
      We wear in honor of our dead.
      Fear not that ye have died for naught;
      We'll teach the lesson that ye wrought
      In Flanders Fields.

   by Moina Michael, November 1918

Please join me and the IGTNT team tonight as we celebrate the lives of two Guam Guardsmen who lost their lives in Afghanistan on Thursday, July 10th: Sgt. Brian S. Leon Guerrero, 34, and Spc. Samson A. Mora, 28.

IGTNT logo credit to dear timroff.

This is a diary I am writing on the first anniversary of the death of my dear cat, KittenLittle, whom I called ‘Kitty.’ She was with me through thick and thin for 20 very full years. She watched me grow up in so many ways, and she helped me grow up in so many more. She was there for me rain or shine, if I was happy, if I was sad, if I had time for her and if I did not. There were no ‘strings’ on her love and company, there were no conditions. She had no hidden agenda, she never sought to punish or manipulate. She loved. She loved completely, totally, consistently, without expectation, without compromise, without anything being held in reserve. She loved me on the surface, she loved me deep down. She loved me in her sleep, she loved me when she was at play. And she was there ... always, always, for me to love right back.

Tonight we honor two soldiers whose bodies were identified 14 months after they went missing in Iraq.

I would ask you to remember
only this one thing....The
stories people tell have a way
of taking care of them. If
stories come to you,
care for them. And
learn to give them away
where they are needed. Sometimes
a person needs a story more than food
to stay alive.

"Stories" by Barry Lopez (source)

These hearts were woven of human joys and cares,
Washed marvellously with sorrow, swift to mirth.
The years had given them kindness. Dawn was theirs,
And sunset, and the colours of the earth.
These had seen movement, and heard music; known
Slumber and waking; loved; gone proudly friended;
Felt the quick stir of wonder; sat alone;
Touched flowers and furs and cheeks. All this is ended.
There are waters blown by changing winds to laughter
And lit by the rich skies, all day. And after,
Frost, with a gesture, stays the waves that dance
And wandering loveliness. He leaves a white
Unbroken glory, a gathered radiance,
A width, a shining peace, under the night.

~ Rupert Brooke (1887-1915)

Tonight, we gather to pay tribute Cpl. Steven Lucas, one more hero who gave his last full measure for his country - 58 years ago.  

On Wednesday, the Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced that the remains of Cpl. Steven Lucas, a U.S. serviceman, missing in action from the Korean War, have been identified and will be returned to his family for burial with full military honors.  This man was a hero beyond heroes.  He fought with his Brothers in Arms, helping them to cut a way out of a cul-de-sac of 30,000 Chinese soldiers bent on exterminating his unit.  Pray with me in tribute to a man who helped his brothers make it home to their families.  

It became a sad holiday weekend for two US families. The 4th of July, this past Friday, 1st Lieutenant Daniel Farkas died in Afghanistan. The next day Sergeant 1st Class Anthony Woodham died in Iraq.

1st Lieutenant Daniel Farkas was a member of the New York branch of the National Guard. He was assigned to the 27th Infantry Brigaded Combat Team based at Syracuse, New York. He died at Camp Phoenix, Kabul.

Sergeant 1st Class Anthony Lynn Woodham was member of Arkansas National Guard Delta Company, 39th Brigade Support Battalion, 39th Brigade Combat Team of Heber Springs, Arkansas. He died at Camp Adder, Tallil.

Neither of the men died in combat, but still died in a strange land, far away from their hometown and their loved ones.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.  ~From a headstone in Ireland

DoD Identifies Army Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Enduring Freedom.

Spc. Estell L. Turner, 43, of Sioux Falls, S.D., died July 2 at the National Naval Medical Center, Bethesda, Md., of wounds suffered on June 28 in Malikheyl, Afghanistan, when his vehicle encountered an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 506th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, KY.

Today we remember Army Spc. Estell "Lee" Turner: