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Sun Dec 23, 2007 at 11:45 AM PST

My 2007 Festivus List of Grievances

by CaptStumpy

Today is Festivus. I hope you've all set up your Festivus pole and are readying your list of grievances for 2007. Here's mine.

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Meanwhile...at the North Poll, Santa is going over his last preparations for his Christmas Eve run...

"Hmmmm...Apparently, 8 Christmas-hating Democrats voted against, Christmas, Christians, freedom and puppies and for  Muslim terrorists. Some other Scrooges just voted "present" or didn't even turn up at all for this VERY CRUCIAL AND IMPORTANT VOTE!

Where's the list of those that were naughty and those that were nice? Here it is! Hmmph...well now...We know who's getting a nice shiny fire engine and who's getting a lump of coal in their stockings, don't we? HO! HO! HO!"

Santa takes a big swig of cocoa.

Join Santa for more after the fold...

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Thu Dec 13, 2007 at 01:09 PM PST

Kittens Appreciation Bill

by CaptStumpy

Apparently, 18 Democrats voted "nay" or "present" on a resolution to "recognize the importance of Christmas and the Christian faith."

Of course this is creating quite a stir among the general wingnuttia.

How could these Democrats vote "for" Ramadan but "against" Christmas?

I think this is a perfect opportunity to introduce my own piece of legislation.

Read it after the fold.

Poll

Vote

73%90 votes
13%16 votes
13%17 votes

| 123 votes | Vote | Results

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Fri Oct 05, 2007 at 11:26 AM PDT

On ConTalk Radio and Glass Houses

by CaptStumpy

This is just to good to not share.

According to Neal Boortz, the "Librals" are out to get him.

Last night at about 7:45 I received a phone call from someone I casually know in Washington DC. He opened the discussion about the Democrats' war against talk radio. He asked me if I have been singled out for an attack yet. I told him that in spite of my best efforts Hillary Clinton's Media Myrmidons have been ignoring me lately. Then he asked me if I had any skeletons in my closet. Well, the only good answer to that is "Oh HELL yes!" I was, of course, curious as to why someone I only know in a casual sense, but someone who is well plugged in, if you will, in Washington, would be asking me these ominous questions. He then told me that he had it on good authority that someone was seeking to hire some private detectives to dig up whatever dirt they can on conservative talk show hosts. He then suggested that I might want to watch my back.

Oh, just wait, it get's better...

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Sun Aug 19, 2007 at 01:13 PM PDT

Left is Right?

by CaptStumpy

How one views whether a person is politically "left" or "right" is determined by ones own political position. From the point of view say, of of an extreme-right evangelical, a more moderate conservative like say, John McCain, is criticised as being on the "left". It's a matter of perspective.

The Political Compass folks have put together a U.S. Presidential Primary version and came up with rather interesting results.

Keep in mind when looking at this...

"...that The Political Compass is a universal tool, reflecting the full spectrum of political thought, and applicable to all democracies. US politics are generally fought within a more confined space. While in mainstream America, Clinton, for example, may be seen as left leaning, in the overall political landscape, she is a moderate conservative. Someone like Kucinich, while seen by his severest opponents as an extreme left winger, would qualify as a typical social democrat in a European context."

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Remember Senator bridge to nowhere secret hold on Federal spending database if you take away my pork I'll throw a tantrum and resign the internet is a series of tubes Steven's?

We have a bit of a double header here.

The two lawmakers are among the highest-ranking members of either party to come under scrutiny in the wave of public-corruption probes that has swept Washington in the past three years. In the past year, two congressmen have been sent to prison, a third has been indicted for bribery, and at least a half-dozen others are under investigation in separate cases.

Updated GOP List of Corruption after the fold.

Also added Michael Flory who pled guilty to sexual battery.

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Tue Jul 17, 2007 at 08:26 AM PDT

Bush Sycophant Disease (BS-Disease)

by CaptStumpy

In 2003, prominent NeoCon columnist Charles Krauthammer coined the term Bush Derangement Syndrome, which quickly spread through the wingnut-o-sphere, like herpes on a bus full of roadies. Krauthammer defined BDS as "the acute onset of paranoia in otherwise normal people in reaction to the policies, the presidency—nay—the very existence of George W. Bush".

Of course considering that Krauthammer is wrong on, oh, just about everything...which Inglesias summed up quite well with...

"Krauthammer is very possibly the worst journalist working in America today, a relentlessly pernicious force, never right about anything, who feels his commentary should not be shackled by the small-minded bonds of accuracy or logic.")

...it should not come as a complete surprise that he is also wrong about so-called BDS. You see, the symptoms he described for BDS is not a disease, it is rather, a sign of mental health, being free from a much more serious affliction...

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Sun Apr 22, 2007 at 09:57 AM PDT

Pop Quiz Time!

by CaptStumpy

In light of kook reverend Fred Phelps and his 70 person following making news in protesting the recent tragedy in Virginia I thought it might be a good time for a little review of who said what.

No looking at other's papers now.

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Here we go again, two more for the list. This time it's a husband and wife team.

F.B.I. agents last week searched the suburban Washington home of Representative John T. Doolittle, Republican of California, and his wife whose activities are being investigated in connection with her ties to the convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff, Mr. Doolittle’s lawyer acknowledged Wednesday.

Two birds in hand is not better than one Bush, but I'll take it in the meantime.

Full updated list, including the winners from last two months, after the fold.

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Wed Mar 28, 2007 at 11:26 AM PDT

Swiftboat Fox: Payback's a Bitch

by CaptStumpy

Well, well Mr Swiftboat Sam. You should have thought about the chances of a newly elected Democratic Congress having to confirm you before whipping out your wallet for the smearmongering SwiftBoat Liars in exchange for a nice fat ambassadorial cronie appointment. Serves you right.

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Tue Mar 27, 2007 at 06:13 PM PDT

Your Liberal Press at Work

by CaptStumpy

Remember this?

Well, now it's Time's turn to be obedient little press toadies.

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Thu Mar 22, 2007 at 09:08 AM PDT

The Fitz is on my List

by CaptStumpy

To the tune by Hall and Oats.

the Fitz is on my List

What can I say
I don’t feel the need to give such secrets away
You think maybe I need help
No, I know that I’m right
I’m just better off not listening to Congress’ advice

When they insist on knowing my bliss
I tell them this
When they want to know what the reason is
I only smile when I lie, then I tell them why
(because the Fitz) the Fitz is on my list
(because the Fitz) the Fitz is on my list
Because the Fitz is on my list of the people to can
(because the Fitz) the Fitz is on my list
(because the Fitz) the Fitz I can't resist

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