Skip to main content


Reposted from What's the male equivalent of a DIVA? by Horace Boothroyd III

The following is what the beginning of recovery from childhood sexual abuse looked like for me. I'm writing this so that others in the process of recovery can see a little of what it might be like for them.  

This part of the story involves recovering repressed memories (I will call them "RM") of childhood sexual abuse, and as such it may be triggering for some. Some may not believe in RM. I'd like to speak to that.

Are RM real? I've struggled with the question of whether mine are. Sometimes I still do. The events I remembered are too extreme for even me to believe sometimes. I can tell you that what I remembered has never changed, or morphed into something else, or into involving someone else (with one exception noted below). I can also tell you that I didn't want them to be true. Who would? I had no intention of ever using them for any gain. I did send a letter to the Catholic Church, but I never asked for, nor received any money from them. I had no reason to lie about what I remembered. I never confronted anyone directly (not that that is a bad thing). I only wanted the pain to stop.

I can find no scientific evidence that explains RM. I have been to Psychotherapy Networker Symposia where evidence of brain scans showing that those with RM (and PTSD) have electrically isolated parts of the brain that can be reconnected to the rest of the brain using EMDR therapy (and less efficiently with traditional therapy), but I can find no papers online to verify that. Perhaps those journals don't post online. I just don't know.

There is, however, a great deal of empirical evidence that they exist, and therapists who assume their clients are telling the truth can make good progress with their clients.

Do you believe that RM exist? Before my experiences, I probably would have said no. After my experiences of the last twenty years, I know better now. Some people think that therapists plant RM in their patients. I don't know whether or not any therapists do, but I can tell you emphatically that mine did not. Quite the opposite. Colleen (more about here later) was very careful to make a safe place for me to do my work, but at no time did she suggest anything. In fact, almost NONE of these memories of events came back in any therapists office. They came back in lots of places (more on that later), but very few in the therapists office.

One other thing: there are two basic types of RM; memories of events, and memories of the emotions connected to those events. The two are quite distinct and don't usually surface at the same time. What usually came up for me in my therapists office were the latter.

The final issue is, why care whether or not other people's RM are real? I guess the crux of the matter is, to what do people with RM do with those memories when they remember? If it is strictly to heal, I see no reason there should be a controversy over them. If you have a broken leg, and waving a maple switch over the leg sets and heals the leg, and no one has any scientific evidence that proves this works, does that matter? The leg is healed. In that context, it only matters to the person with RM whether or not they are real. Your opinions are irrelevant.

If that person is using those memories to accuse others of deeds they remember, then it's dicier. While I've already diaried that I have direct physical evidence (letters and an eye witness account), and a lot of circumstantial evidence, that verify that at least two of my recovered RM are true, I won't be addressing this issue in this diary. I'm not a scientist, and I can't speak to that. I can only discuss my experiences. I will say, though, that If I find you trustworthy, I'll believe you.

And there is also the issue on whether or not you believe me when I say that those two memories were actually repressed. If you don't believe that, well there's nothing I can do about that, and you will be wasting your time (and possibly mine) if you continue to read. If you feel I have enough credibility to at least give me benefit of the doubt, then read on. You may find this diary instructive.

If you'd like to watch healing happen (as ugly as that can be), join me below fancy orange dream cloud.

Continue Reading
Reposted from The Sheeping of America by Horace Boothroyd III

No one can say it better than the actual victim of a sexual assault (alleged).  This is a letter sent to the Woody Allen fans across the world from his daughter Dylan.

Woody Allen is a living testament to the way our society fails the survivors of sexual assault and abuse.

So imagine your seven-year-old daughter being led into an attic by Woody Allen. Imagine she spends a lifetime stricken with nausea at the mention of his name. Imagine a world that celebrates her tormenter.

Are you imagining that? Now, what’s your favorite Woody Allen movie?

This was a child calling out for help.
When I asked my mother if her dad did to her what Woody Allen did to me, I honestly did not know the answer. I also didn’t know the firestorm it would trigger. I didn’t know that my father would use his sexual relationship with my sister to cover up the abuse he inflicted on me. I didn’t know that he would accuse my mother of planting the abuse in my head and call her a liar for defending me. I didn’t know that I would be made to recount my story over and over again, to doctor after doctor, pushed to see if I’d admit I was lying as part of a legal battle I couldn’t possibly understand. At one point, my mother sat me down and told me that I wouldn’t be in trouble if I was lying – that I could take it all back. I couldn’t. It was all true. But sexual abuse claims against the powerful stall more easily. There were experts willing to attack my credibility. There were doctors willing to gaslight an abused child.
He is possibly a child molester so stop giving him hugs and kudos for a job well done.
When Woody Allen’s career was celebrated at last month’s Golden Globe Awards, the allegations that he sexually assaulted the seven year old daughter of his former partner Mia Farrow were reignited, mostly thanks to a blunt tweet from her half-brother, and new MSNBC host, Ronan Farrow:
From Ronan Farrow
Continue Reading

Fri Jan 31, 2014 at 06:46 AM PST

New Rule

by Horace Boothroyd III

Reposted from Horace Boothroyd III by Horace Boothroyd III

Forget the degeneration of indigenous groups by race based names on football teams.

After reading yet another college sacrificing the lives of their female students in order to allow football players to bust a nut with impunity I've decided football needs only one team name.

THE RAPISTS
Discuss

Even though there is ample evidence that both male and female solders are being systemically preyed upon by superior officers and enlisted using their positions of power to rape.

The panel is fine with victims of a violent demeaning crime having to report to their boss the incident instead of law enforcement personnel trained to investigate. This leaves victims with no where to turn if that commander decided for reasons not based on evidence to not pursue the criminal complaint. We have seen this scenario repeat ad nauseum for decades as commanders choose to honor the good old boys environment higher than the needs of the Nation, never mind unit cohesion.

Continue Reading
Reposted from dougbob by Horace Boothroyd III

A sexual assault victim suing the city of San Diego because her assailant was a police officer is now being portrayed in court documents as having committed a criminal act.

According to an article in today’s UT-San Diego, the city’s chief legal advocate has chosen to adopt a strategy of blaming the victim as a defense in a civil suit filed in the wake of the 2011 conviction of former SDPD officer Anthony Arevalos on charges of sexual battery, bribery and related charges.

Our tax dollars paid for a legal document filed by elected (Republican, natch) City Attorney Jan Goldsmith’s  office alleging that “Jane Doe” offered her underwear as a bribe to escape arrest on a drunk-driving charge on March 8, 2011.

UPDATE, 5PM WEDS: The City Attorney's office has now decided this accusation wasn't such a good idea, after all.

Jane Doe is the last of a dozen women who filed lawsuits or claims against the city alleging they were victims of sexual assault or harassment. Other claims have been settled, to the tune of more than $2.3 million.

A NBC7News timeline, including allegations by nine women against Arevalos wherein he asks for sexual favors in return for not being arrested, describes the Jane Doe incident:

March 8, 2011: Arevalos is accused of taking a 32-year-old woman, known in court documents as “Jane Doe” into the bathroom of the 7/11 on J Street in March, where she took off her panties and was sexually assaulted. Felony charges stemming from this incident include sexual battery by restraint, asked for a bribe, assault and battery by an officer, false imprisonment by violence, menace, fraud or deceit.

March 9, 2011: “Jane Doe” filed a report of the incident with the San Diego police department that led to Arevalos being charged with multiple counts of sexual assault under the color of authority. With a San Diego police detective, the alleged victim made two pretext phone calls in which Arevalos made several incriminating statements according to court documents.

Here are the details published in today’s UT article:
The woman, identified only as “Jane Doe” in her civil-rights lawsuit against the city, was stopped by Arevalos in the Gaslamp for drunken driving. She testified at his trial that he asked her what she would be willing to do to make the DUI arrest go away, and he suggested she give him her panties.

 The two went to a bathroom inside a nearby 7-Eleven where she removed her underwear, she testified, and Arevalos touched her before allowing her to dress.

 Somehow this sequence of events, confirmed by the recorded phone calls, a security camera video and felony convictions has now morphed into:

“Plaintiff bribed Officer Arevalos with her panties to get out of the DUI. Both plaintiff and Arevalos agreed to consummate the bribe in a nearby 7-Eleven in the Gaslamp.”

 Here’s the statement from Goldsmith’s office defending their actions:

“Unlike the other cases, this one remaining case has evidence that the plaintiff actually negotiated over avoiding a DUI,” the statement said. “Regardless of outrage from plaintiff’s lawyer seeking a payday, if we have to try a case our trial lawyers present the jury with the truth.”

This is the kind of legal behavior that gives rise to the saying that sharks won’t bite lawyers of out professional courtesy. This is the reason why getting rid of Jan Goldsmith- the man who brought San Diego city ridicule via the ‘chalkgate’ prosecution- in the next election should be everybody’s business.

This is the kind of blindness to the pain of sexual assaults that has no place in this world.

Please help me let the world know just how depraved a situation this is.

Parts of this post were originally published in the San Diego Free Press

Discuss
Reposted from A Progressive Military Wife by angelajean

Welcome back! It's time to hold our weekly discussion on rape and sexual assault. We're into week seven. We have a set of regular readers and commenters for whom I am very thankful. But it would be nice to expand the conversation. Please feel free to share the diary and ask folks to come join the comments. I know these conversations are not always easy but with each one, I learn something new. I hope that you do as well.

Just a quick reminder for all of us. We are sharing a list of statements that come from a 1990 survey of high school kids. That means much of the wording of these statements is dated and we would not choose to ask similar questions today. Sometimes, it's only a word or two that we might change; sometimes it's an entire idea. But that's part of the appeal of this project - to see how mindsets have changed in twenty years. Do the same questions even apply? It's why I haven't asked for just True or False answers but leave room for Shades of Gray. I just ask that you don't get mad at me for the wording nor ask me to explain what I think they're looking for. I want your gut reaction - just like those students had to give their gut reactions 20 years ago.

One reader is especially concerned that we have to be extra careful when discussing rape and sexual assault. I would agree. That means we all need to know how to handle difficult conversations that don't always use clear terminology or express an idea in an exacting manner. That's how conversations work in real life, especially that life outside of DailyKos. It forces each and every one of us to think about what words really mean. It helps us prepare for the day another Todd Akin talks about legitimate rape. Or the day your father-in-law tells your daughter that she shouldn't wear that item of clothing because she's asking for trouble. Or the day that the policeman asks what in the world you thought you were doing walking down the street at night.

I don't believe that this series will make rape less likely to happen. I do believe that cultural change will eventually do that and when we don't have to have these conversations anymore, it will mean that we have succeeded. There won't be any finish line to cross - change in a society isn't like that. But slowly and surely conversations like these and the thousands of others that take place in daily life will change minds, change perceptions, and finally, change an entire culture. The process is gut-wrenching at times. Thanks for bearing with it.

A recap of statement number six can be found below the fold.

The poll below will be:

Statement 7: Rape is prevalent among high school and college students.
Poll

True or False: Rape is prevalent among high school and college students.

74%29 votes
23%9 votes
2%1 votes

| 39 votes | Vote | Results

Continue Reading
Reposted from A Progressive Military Wife by angelajean

Welcome back! It must be Thursday and time to tackle our weekly discussion on rape and sexual assault. We're into week five (skipped Thankgiving!) and gaining readers with each addition to the series.

Just a quick recap for those new to the series. We are sharing a list of statements that come from a 1990 survey of high school kids. They were surveyed before and after taking a Rape Awareness Program. Like the kids back then, we're taking a poll on each statement and comparing our responses with those from the 1990's. We're also discussing our responses in the comments and using the opportunity to expand our own knowledge, shine a light on our own pre-conceptions, and to discover new ways to discuss rape and sexual assault both within the progressive community and outside among family and friends.

I have been publishing on Thursday mornings and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. There are twenty-four statements in total and we're polling number six! A recap of statement number five can be found below the fold.

Statement #6: An unwilling victim could prevent rape if she or he wanted to.

Poll

True or False: An unwilling victim could prevent rape if she or he wanted to.

3%3 votes
84%84 votes
13%13 votes

| 100 votes | Vote | Results

Continue Reading
Reposted from A Progressive Military Wife by angelajean

Welcome to our weekly series discussing rape and sexual assault. We're into week four and gaining readers with each addition to the series.

For those who are new to the series, we are sharing a list of statements that come from a 1990 survey of high school kids. They were surveyed before and after taking a Rape Awareness Program. Like the kids back then, we're taking a poll on each statement and comparing our responses with those from the 1990's. We're also discussing our responses in the comments and using the opportunity to expand our own knowledge, shine a light on our own pre-conceptions, and to discover new ways to discuss rape and sexual assault both within the progressive community and outside among family and friends.

I have been publishing on Thursday mornings. Next Thursday is Thanksgiving Day and this series will be taking a one week break. I also want to take this opportunity to talk about scheduling. I've noticed better polling numbers when I publish later in the morning but I'm not always around to publish that late. Could have just been the question of the day or could have been timing. What do you think?

Join us below for a re-cap of last week's statement and then don't forget to take this week's poll:

Statement #5: True or False: Most rapists choose someone they know as a victim.

Poll

Most rapists choose someone they know as a victim.

91%91 votes
6%6 votes
2%2 votes

| 99 votes | Vote | Results

Continue Reading
Reposted from Laura Clawson by Horace Boothroyd III
Chris Murphy, connecticut congressman running for Senate in 2012
Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT), the 51st supporter of the Military Justice Improvement Act.
Debate about how to handle military sexual assault started on the Senate floor Wednesday morning, with Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand seeking 60 votes for her Military Justice Improvement Act. Connecticut Sen. Chris Murphy became the amendment's 51st public supporter in a statement concluding "Given the long history of sexual assault in the military, it is time for us to take a leap of faith and move forward with a new approach to solving this vexing and chronic problem." He was soon followed by Ohio Sen. Sherrod Brown making it 52.

Making the case for having decisions about prosecuting major crimes like sexual assault be made by military prosecutors, not military commanders:

“Victims feel they will not get justice,” Gillibrand said on the Senate floor. “If you don’t create a transparent, accountable system outside of the chain of command your hope of victims reporting … it’s not there, the hope is not there.”
Another amendment, from Democratic Sen. Claire McCaskill and Republican Sen. Kelly Ayotte, would seek to address sexual assault in the military while leaving prosecution decisions with commanders, tweaking a failed system around the edges rather than seeking major change. Gillibrand's amendment could get a vote as early as Wednesday evening, but could also be held up.

Tell Congress to protect victims of military sexual assault by supporting the Military Justice Improvement Act.

Discuss
Reposted from A Progressive Military Wife by angelajean

This Military Justice Improvement Act could pass as an amendment to the 2014 Defense Spending bill. It's very close to having enough votes but the vote may take place today.

Is your Senator is on this list:

http://www.sessions.senate.gov/.... http://www.shelby.senate.gov/.... http://www.boozman.senate.gov/.... http://www.flake.senate.gov/.... http://www.mccain.senate.gov/.... http://www.murphy.senate.gov/....
http://www.billnelson.senate.gov/.... http://www.rubio.senate.gov/.... http://www.chambliss.senate.gov/.... http://www.isakson.senate.gov/.... http://www.crapo.senate.gov/.... http://www.risch.senate.gov/.... http://www.durbin.senate.gov/.... http://www.coats.senate.gov/.... http://www.moran.senate.gov/.... http://www.roberts.senate.gov/.... http://www.mcconnell.senate.gov/.... http://www.king.senate.gov/.... https://www.levin.senate.gov/.... http://www.blunt.senate.gov/.... http://www.mccaskill.senate.gov/.... http://www.cochran.senate.gov/.... http://www.wicker.senate.gov/.... http://www.baucus.senate.gov/.... http://www.tester.senate.gov/.... http://www.burr.senate.gov/.... http://www.hoeven.senate.gov/.... http://www.fischer.senate.gov/.... http://www.ayotte.senate.gov/....
http://www.corybooker.com/.... http://www.heller.senate.gov/.... http://www.reid.senate.gov/.... http://www.brown.senate.gov/.... https://www.portman.senate.gov/.... http://www.coburn.senate.gov/.... http://www.inhofe.senate.gov/....
http://www.toomey.senate.gov/.... http://www.reed.senate.gov/.... http://www.whitehouse.senate.gov/.... http://www.lgraham.senate.gov/.... http://www.scott.senate.gov/.... http://www.thune.senate.gov/.... http://www.alexander.senate.gov/.... http://www.corker.senate.gov/.... http://www.cornyn.senate.gov/.... http://www.hatch.senate.gov/.... http://www.lee.senate.gov/.... http://www.kaine.senate.gov/.... http://www.warner.senate.gov/.... http://www.ronjohnson.senate.gov/.... http://www.manchin.senate.gov/.... http://www.barrasso.senate.gov/.... http://www.enzi.senate.gov/....

If so, we need you to contact them ASAP. That's military shorthand for As Soon As Possible. And that means today! Tomorrow might be too late.

Continue Reading
Reposted from A Progressive Military Wife by angelajean

I am asking you to do a simple thing today.

Call your Senators (both of them), irregardless of party, and ask them to support the bi-partisan bill sponsored by Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, The Military Justice Improvement Act of 2013 (#MJIA). This bill will remove military chain-of-command from the decision making process in military sexual assault cases. MJIA is being proposed as an amendment to the 2014 defense spending bill and voting can start as soon as today.

Need some talking points? From Gillibrand's recent speech before the Senate, I've gleaned a few facts you might like to know. You can find her full speech below the fold.

MJIA proposes an independent military justice system that gives survivors a fair shot at justice.

MJIA is Bi-partisan and pro-military.

MJIA strengthens good order and discipline in the military.

Our allies have already made these reforms - Israel, the UK, Australia, Germany, the Netherlands, to name a few.

3000 brave victims reported last year - 62% were retaliated against. Those command climates failed.

According to RAND, the military has lost 3.6 billion dollars last year alone because victims are forced out and the military must train their replacements. We're losing quality officers and enlisted because the current command climate makes it easier for victims to leave the military than to stay and continue to serve.

Last year, only 1 in 10 victims filed unrestricted reports, totaling 2,500 cases - only 300 of these went to trial. Remember, a grand 26,000 cases went unreported last year alone.

Continue Reading
Reposted from A Progressive Military Wife by angelajean

Welcome to our weekly series discussing rape and sexual assault. We're into week four and gaining readers with each addition to the series.

For those who are new to the series, we are sharing a list of statements that come from a 1990 survey of high school kids. They were surveyed before and after taking a Rape Awareness Program. Like the kids back then, we're taking a poll on each statement and comparing our responses with those from the 1990's. We're also discussing our responses in the comments and using the opportunity to expand our own knowledge, shine a light on our own pre-conceptions, and to discover new ways to discuss rape and sexual assault both within the progressive community and outside among family and friends.

Join us below for a re-cap of last week's statement and then don't forget to take this week's poll:

True or False: Women provoke and invite rape by their appearance and behavior.
Poll

True or False: Women provoke and invite rape by their appearance and behavior.

8%14 votes
80%130 votes
11%18 votes

| 162 votes | Vote | Results

Continue Reading
You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.

RSS

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site