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Mon Mar 13, 2006 at 08:28 PM PST

An Arrogant Proposal

by Raybin

frontpaged at My Left Wing

George Walker Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C.

Dear Fuckhead,

Crap.  I'm sorry.  Reflex action.

Dear Sir,

I'm sure you have all the advice you can stand these days.  I'm sure there are people pressing in among you from all sides--very learned people too!  People with degrees from Yale, Harvard, Princeton. Yak, yak, yak is probably all they wanna do, right?

Let's face it: The blunt truth is that life is getting you down right now, Mr. President.  Nothing seems to be going right.  You're under threat of censure.  Iraq deteriorates daily.  Support for an invasion of Iran is practically nil.  You managed to duck Congressional investigation into your (alleged!  I'm on your side here!) law breaking activities.  That's good.  But nothing else seems to be adding weight to your rather high-riding pan right now.  (I'm using an analogy about scales.  Is that okay?  I don't want to talk over your head.) 

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frontpaged at My Left Wing

...because I got a whole mass to cut through right now.

As I right these words, right above Kos' post making excuses for the power play that stabbed Hackett in the back, is this quote:


Crashing the Gate is a refreshing, bold exposé of the status quo party politics that are threatening to make Democrats the permanent minority party. -- Donna Brazile

Now then, leaving aside for a moment the question of whether or not DONNA FREAKING BRAZILE of all people can ever be an effective or serious critic of status quo politics (by the way Donna, have I thanked you yet for running Gore's campaign with an ineptness that would make Michael Dukakis' campaign manager go "Damn, that was inept"?) does anyone see an inherent contradiction going on here?

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Wed Feb 08, 2006 at 05:44 PM PST

...so why don't I feel like laughing?

by Raybin

frontpaged at My Left Wing

I made mention to some folks the other day that I have a habit of collecting jokes that are awful, disgusting, and tasteless.  Really, many of them can only loosely be called "jokes" since the primary reaction isn't laughter.  Or, if it is, it's not laughing at the humor, it's a kind of startled, disbelieving laughter that people can come up with such perverse things.  (Yeah, I know, it's a bizarre hobby.  Well, at least I don't correspond with serial killers in prison like you do.  Yeah, you, over there.)

In any case, I'm going to share one of these terrible jokes because I think it accurately illustrates how I--and I suspect many others--are feeling these days.  Then I'm going to expound a lot and hopefully come to some kind of coherent point.

Brace yourself.

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Mon Feb 06, 2006 at 10:07 PM PST

Rattlesnake Wine

by Raybin

frontpaged at My Left Wing

Water, grapes, yeast and sugar.  What do they have to do with each other?  Seemingly nothing.  But mix them in a sterile container, put a lid on and then walk away for a while.  Come back, drink heartily and feel good.

A rattlesnake is as much afraid of you as you are of it.  Encounter one in the wilderness and, despite its venom and noisy tail shaking, it will slither on its merry way given a chance.  However, should you get the bright idea to pick up a stick and start poking it repeatedly, you do so at the peril of your life.

What are the lessons here?  Mix the right ingredients together and you get wine.  Torment a rattlenake and you'll get bit.

So what you ask?  I'll tell you.

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Wed Jan 25, 2006 at 02:23 PM PST

Wanker of the Day...

by Raybin

...is Atrios.

As much as it pains me to do this, because I truly think this may have been the first time I've strenuously and seriously disagreed with Atrios in the nearly 3 years since I've been reading his blog, there's no other word for his condemnation of Joel Stein's new LA Times column but "wankery." 

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Fri Jan 20, 2006 at 10:54 PM PST

Debate With Bonzo

by Raybin

frontpaged at My Left Wing

Lookee everyone, the Preznit's made a proclamation!  As much as it might turn your stomach, you have to read all of this.  Just to believe it.  Even for this administration the rhetoric makes the hypocrisy eagle soar to heights previously unimagined outside of the deepest fantasies of John Ashcroft

If you've averse to clicking links that lead to the White House Official Site (and believe me, I understand and sympathize), I've taken the liberty of providing the full text of the proclamation after the jump.  Then after that is the meat of the diary.

So what are you just sitting there reading this useless part for?  Go!

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a version of this frontpaged at My Left Wing

I have to say I like DHinMI much more than many people do because I appreciate his wit and obvious intelligence, even when it's used to express opinions I disagree with.  

But the logical contortions of his frontpage post today were insane and made me at last seriously question the validity of the DK site.  If that's the kind of pretzel reasoning that the site endorses, I have to wonder if it's lost all its positive usage and has become nothing more than a place to make dyed-in-the-wool Democrats (something I used to be, admittedly) feel better about themselves and the general ineptness of the party.  I still love DHinMI as much as I ever did, I just think he did himself a disservice by writing something that was clearly whistling past the graveyard.  The time has come for all Democrats and those who aren't Democrats but mostly vote that way to stop being the Black Knight of the political world and admit that, indeed, our arm is off and it's not just a flesh wound.

I keep on a ramblin' and a rantin' after the jump.

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crossposted at My Left Wing

It was a winter day like any other in the nation's capital.

The wind was blowing, adding to the already considerable chill outside.  Inside the House of Representatives chamber, the amount of hot air being spewed warmed the temperature considerably.  From the back of the chamber, a tall, lank man rose to speak.  He was privately disdained by many of the Northeast bluebloods and Southern aristocrats.  Partly this was for his politics, which aligned him with the minority.  But mostly it was because of his appearance and manner.  It was far too "Western" to suit the tastes of the highborn.

The force of the Illinois representative's words, however, could not be so easily dismissed or sniffed away.

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frontpaged at My Left Wing

Okay, so there are a few things I need to clear up before we get into this one.

This is not a new work, in the sense that I just today sat down and wrote it.  A year ago today I was probably engaged in writing this, since it was the final paper for a class.  As such, you may notice that the style is somewhat more academic than is my usual wont.  I hope you will still enjoy it regardless.  I got an "A" on it, so my professor did at any rate.

Also, I chose not to include the 40-odd footnotes that were scattered throughout the paper because to do so would have caused me nightmarish headaches.  Just please believe me that everything was properly cited in the correct style. However, I am the the type that likes to include side observations and comments in my footnotes.  Several of these I wanted to bring to your attention and have folded them into the paper set off by plus signs to designate the fact that they were originally footnotes.  Just a heads up there.

Oh, well.  Now that we've got preliminaries out of the way, go read and enjoy.  

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Wed Dec 07, 2005 at 07:11 AM PST

Scythe of the Reaper

by Raybin

frontpaged at My Left Wing

Major General Patrick Cleburne and Captain Tod Carter, two of the more than 35,000 members of the Confederate Army of Tennessee, awoke to the cold dawn of November 30, 1864.  Neither general nor captain, nor more than 1,750 of their comrades, could know that this would be their last day on earth.  Nor could they know that their last moments would be tinged with alternate emotions of anticipation, exhilaration and fear that no one who has not experienced it can describe.

The holocaust that enveloped the men of the two armies that last day of November--Rebel and Yankee alike--has long been virtually unknown outside the ranks of dedicated scholars and enthusiasts of the four year fratricide.  Yet to those who have sought it out, the battle of Franklin, Tennessee has been synonymous with the same type of compacted horror visited upon the Bloody Angle of Spotsylvania, the Cornfield at Sharpsburg and the Wheatfield at Gettysburg.

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frontpaged at My Left Wing

Folks, I've got it!  This has to be what Archimedes felt when he sat down in the bathtub or when Newton got bonked on the head with that apple!  A moment of pure inspiration has just struck me.  

We've totally misjudged Bill O'Reilly.  He's just acting like this because he's under a lot of stress.  I know why he's so determined to defend the honor of Christmas...I know why he's making a list...it's because that's what he knows how to do.

What do I mean?  Well...

BILL O'REILLY IS SANTA CLAUS!!!!!!!

Think about it!  What better cover for a jolly old elf than a liver-splotched, mean-spirited, sexually dysfunctional bully!  I'm just so excited...this means Santa Claus really does exist!  In fact I'm so thrilled that I wrote a little song in tribute...

Poll

Think this'll get me on the enemies list?

25%9 votes
2%1 votes
51%18 votes
20%7 votes

| 35 votes | Vote | Results

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Thu Nov 10, 2005 at 08:04 PM PST

Bill O'Reilly Makes Baby Herodotus Cry

by Raybin

frontpaged at My Left Wing

As I've demonstrated previously Bill O'Reilly has a problem.  Well, okay he has 1,706,830 problems (I checked) but the one I'm immediately concerned with right now is his problem with history.

Media Matters, that invaluable organization, has been in the habit of repeatedly rogering poor Bill's anus with the Red Hot Poker of Truth.  Recently O'Reilly, apparently tiring of re-writing the history of a few centuries ago, delved into recent history.

Poll

Is Bill O'Reilly a complete dope or is it just me?

0%0 votes
2%2 votes
1%1 votes
2%2 votes
1%1 votes
1%1 votes
5%4 votes
18%13 votes
48%35 votes
18%13 votes

| 72 votes | Vote | Results

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