Posting History for WilliamKWolfrum
|Mitt Romney's best friend is Jerry Sandusky (and other things I don’t really believe)
As a political blogger, I have long had a reputation as a pragmatic, level-headed fellow who often uses humor in lieu of shrillness. While I am proud of this reputation, it is one that has kept me ...
|100% of Mitt Romneys think U.S. citizens are jerks
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A new Gallup poll today showing that a large percentage of Mitt Romneys think U.S. citizens are “jerks.” The poll – which took the opinions of one Mitt Romney over a 10-...
|Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin demand people be allowed to yell “Fire!” in crowded theaters
DES MOINES – Appearing together on stage for the first time, Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney and former Vice-Presidential nominee Sarah Palin had harsh words for the administration of ...
|Breaking: Obama campaign donates $1 million to Romney campaign
WASHINGTON – The re-election campaign for President Barack Obama has made a $1 million donation to the Mitt Romney campaign. The donation comes on the heels of Romney’s recent foray into foreign ...
|Sept. 11: There is no comparison
Today is the 11th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the United States. It is a day for remembrance of those who lost their lives and loved ones. And it's a day to remember those who have ...
|Vote for me for that office that I deserve
It has been several months since I, William K. Wolfrum, formally declared my intention to run for the office that I deserve to win. Since then, I have had multiple donors who have helped me spread ...
|Koch Brothers Buy Final Say For The Rapture
HEAVEN – ...
|Charlie Sheen mentions running for President! Interview him now!!!
Just moments after not being able to win back custody of his kids from a wife in rehab, ...
|Parents to fix household budget deficit by cutting child's allowance
DES MOINES – Having declared that their current ...
|Centrism: The Truth Rundown
David Broder stared out his office window. His calmness had an eerie quality to it, a feel that there was anger just underneath. This ...
|GOP cancels Black History Month party, slices $372.68 off budget
WASHINGTON - After making campaign promises that they'd cut as much as $150 billion from the U.S. budget, Congressional Republicans could only come up ...
|GOP to introduce “Proboscis Removal for America” bill
WASHINGTON - Having returned to prominence with a campaign dedicated to promoting job creation and cutting spending, Congressional Republicans have ...
|Federal Judge Rules Capitalism Unconstitutional
AMERICA – A Federal Court in Florida has struck down ...
|State of the Union: Rebuttal from Undecided Voters
Hey everyone! First, let me thank the Undecided Voters who have asked me to give this rebuttal – which is like a speech thing I’m told and is important. Anyway, President Barack Obama&...
|Scientists: More guns don't make you any more of a man
SWEDEN - After a full decade of research, a team of Swedish scientists has confirmed that no matter ...
|Santa Claus: "Free toys are killing poor people's work ethic"
NORTH POLE - Looking trim following lap-band surgery, Santa Claus held a press conference today to announce a fundamental change in his long-time tradition of giving toys to good children. Intent ...
|Julian Assange must die! For starters
Much has been said about Julian Assange and Wikileaks. The Australian-born hacker has put America in grave danger due to his publication of classified information that someone else stole. ...
|Barack Obama preemptively shuts down Government to appease GOP
WASHINGTON - Continuing his pattern of negotiating before being at the negotiating table, President Barack Obama shut down the Federal ...
|“Blowing Smoke” Blows Away Right-Wing Narratives
Following the election of Barack Obama to the office of President of the United States, writer Michael Wolraich surveyed the political aftermath and ...
|Out of the Shell
Somewhere sort of like here ... 1.
|Jesus Christ announces new $75/month Pay-for-Pray Subscription fee
BOISE - Lord and Savior Jesus H. Christ today announced new plans for Heaven's prayer service, as, starting Nov. 1, each Christian must pay a $75 per ...
|Anti-Muslims protest Mosque to be built on top of Mosque
SEATTLE - "Do I need honor these people and pretend that they are worthy of the privileges of the First Amendment which I have in my gut the sense that they will abuse?"
|Sarah Palin inks deal to sell “Palin’s Pee-Pee Power Pills” on QVC
Always quick to pounce on a big opportunity, political entertainer Sarah Palin today announced she has signed a $5-million deal to hawk sex enhancement products on QVC. "If you're tired of ...
|Potential Incident Could Be Result of Violent Left-Wing Or Right-Wing Maniacs!
NEW YORK — There has been a recent discovery that an unidentified person walked into an unidentified establishment between 3 p.m. and 7 p.m. sometime between Tuesday and Thursday this week.
|Ayn Rand & Objectivism - Everything you need to know
Born in 1792 in Monaco, Aynamal "Ayn" Rand was a divisive figure from her very first day. Born with a twin sister, Rand consumed said twin out-of-utero, leaving little left but rib bones and patches ...
|To my Readers: Thank you for not murdering anyone
A good blog is a back-and-forth experience between writer and reader. When a blog reaches its apex, commentary and conversation meld together, making reader and writer one. Of course, sometimes, ...
|Making the data fit the narrative – Bush Tax Cuts Edition
At Politics Daily, Bruce Drake sticks with politics , and does so in grand "Interpret the data the way ...
|BP lobbies to release terrorist for oil - Will GOP defend?
One must wonder if Republicans will be standing up for British Petroleum and their profits after this latest headline: "BP lobbied U.K. ahead of ...
|Conservative carpet-bombing of the media – a 24/7 affair
While the " liberal media " was sleeping, Conservatives were busy carpet-bombing the U.S. media. Here's a partial look at how two prominent ...
|Newt Gingrich planning to run for President or commit adultery in 2012
WASHINGTON — F ormer U.S. House Speaker Newt Gingrich said Monday he&...
|Chicken-Suit Wearers say "What the Cluck?" to Nevada Polling ban
If you show up in a chicken suit at a Nevada polling place to have your say in the primaries, you will not be ...
|British Petroleum announces “Everyone Wins a Gallon of Oil” Contest
Trying to stay a step ahead of their rapidly spreading oily public relations disaster in the Gulf of ...
|Republicans announce its base – Tim Johnson of Tupelo, Miss.
Over the past few decades, the Republican brand has become a somewhat-confused morass of ideologies and beliefs, with the party losing large blocks of voters on several different issues. Recently, ...
|President Barack Obama To Win Landslide Re-Election in 2012
It’s April 27, 2010, and let me call it now – President Barack Obama will easily win re-election in 2012. Any discussion you hear about the 2012 presidential election is just a way ...
|John McCain announces he's a hardcore conservative. And a hunky vampire
ARIZONA - Faced with a difficult primary challenge from J.D. Hayworth in his senatorial re-...
|Michael Steele fired; Jesse James named new RNC Chairman
WASHINGTON - The Republican National Committee, finally fed up with his free-spending ways and controversies, have fired Michael Steele as RNC Chairman and announced that TV Star Jesse James will be ...
|Sarah Palin TLC Show canceled due to lack of reality
SILVER SPRING, Md. - Discovery Communications has announced that it has been forced to cancel the upcoming reality show "Sarah Palin'
|Tiger Woods to run for Senate as Republican
FLORIDA - Entering an already crowded field of contenders, golfer Tiger Woods today ...
|Extremist bird craps on blogger’s car
BRAZIL - In an attempt to show that Democratic politicians aren't the only ones dealing with threats and violence, blogger William K. Wolfrum today admitted that a bird crapped on his car, which he ...
|Tea Party & Extreme right an asset to Democrats
One of the strangest things to watch in the mainstream media has been how hard they’ve strained to make anti-government protesters into a major national story. What’s even ...
|Sean Hannity kills adorable little puppies
BRAZIL - Right-Wing Blogger-Patriot William K. Wolfrum today unleashed a new bombshell revelation against Fox News host Sean Hannity. Wolfrum stated that ...
|Costa Rica to re-institute military to keep Rush Limbaugh out
COSTA RICA - Calling it the "greatest threat our nation has ever faced," Costa Rican President �scar Arias has announced that his country will re-institute the military in order to fend of an ...
|John Ensign on Eric Massa: "I don't tickle anyone"
WASHINGTON - Republican Senator John Ensign - speaking from his room at the C Street Center - has come out swinging against ex-...
|"Lazy Americans like being unemployed" talking point a winner for GOP
If you can say one thing about the GOP, it's that they stick to the script when it comes to talking points. The latest GOP talking point - that Americans are lazy and like being unemployed - could ...
|Breaking: Atheist politician arrested after leaving Church
BAKERSFIELD - An Atheist California state senator was placed under arrest for Driving under the Influence of God ...
|Senate Republicans filibuster family's dinner
AKRON -- Edward Crone and his family had just finished saying grace and were prepared to begin eating dinner when Senate Republicans - led by the retiring Jim Bunning - burst through the door and ...
|A drunken Barack Obama chokes living daylights out of Jim Bunning
WASHINGTON - Inside sources confirm that U.S. President Barack Obama - completely hammered on Coors Light and Alabama Slammers - choked the living daylights out ...
|Got Torts? William K. Wolfrum's Tort Reformation is here to help
Do you have Torts? Do you wake up each morning to see a Tort-infested life that is ...
|God speaks: "Beauty Pageant Contestants are going to Hell"
HEAVEN - God, the all-powerful entity that controls all things on the planet, spoke to his people today for the first time in hundreds of years. Using the voice of ...
|Bring back slavery (or build more prisons)
While the U.S. economy continues to operate, the unemployment situation in the nation is still a giant area of concern. When unemployment hits 10 percent, economic heads explode. When it stays that ...
|Abraham Lincoln attacks street performer that mocked his family
WASHINGTON – Speaking in front of thousands of supporters, President Abraham Lincoln today took time off his efforts to re-unite the nation, end the Civil War and slavery to berate a ...
The disconnect never fails to amaze me. Death on a personal level is a heart-wrenching, life-altering affair . The recovery is a long ...
|It's hot in Brazil - thus proving Global Warming
BRAZIL - After temperatures soared to more than 100 degrees Fahrenheit today in both Sao Paulo and Rio De Janeiro, Brazil, a group of scientists working on a comprehensive study stated ...
|Tea Partiers: Feel like you’ve lost your country? I just bought you a new one in Latvia
Dear Tea Partiers, For a long, long time now, I've been hearing American Patriots going on and on about how they've lost their country. And by "long, long time" I mean "since Barack Obama was ...
|An interview with Louie Psihoyos: Oscar for 'The Cove' could save lives of dolphins
Louie Psihoyos wants to win an Academy Award. For the Director of the Oscar-nominated documentary "
|Jezus aks his fallowrs to be more stupidur lyke Saruh Paylin
AMERICUH - Following the grand celebration of his name at the recent Tea Party Convention , Jesus ...
|E-mails reveal Piper Palin ran Alaska in 2008
ANCHORAGE - Recently released e-mails by the Alaska State Government showed that Sarah Palin's youngest daughter Piper, then 7, ...
|Karl Rove to star in "The Bachelor"||WilliamKWolfrum||02/05/2010||23||5||1||13|
|Get your masturbation on at The Huffington Post
While I understand the difficulty in making money on the Internet, I have generally tried to avoid doing baser things in order to make my Web site more profitable. Like, for instance, I haven't made ...
|Jesus Christ: Karl Rove's divorce destroys the Sanctity of Marriage
TEXAS - The Sanctity of Marriage came to an end recently, as political operative and conservative Karl Rove got a divorce . Rove, ...
|A Letter to America from Karl Marx
Dear America, Regarding Marxism : Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up,
|Khalid Sheikh Mohammed breaks out of Guantanamo, defeats U.S. military, enslaves American public
NEW YORK - In a shocking development, arch-terrorist Khalid Sheikh Mohammed broke out of Guantanamo Prison today, personally defeated the entire U.S. military, overthrew the U.S. Government and ...
|I'm Barack Obama's 48th cousin!
When it was announced that President Barack Obama and super-hunk hottie Senator-elect Scott ...
|GOP's new plan: Jam fingers in ears, scream ‘lalalalala’ whenever Obama speaks
WASHINGTON - Following President Barack Obama's State of the Union Address and open-forum question-and-answer session with House Republicans, the GOP has announced a new plan to deal with they call "...
|John McCain, Newt Gingrich agree John Edwards is adulterous lowlife
WASHINGTON - At a special press conference today, media heroes Sen. John McCain ...
|Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie must break up - for America
While the better part of the United States has tumbled into disarray with the fighting of multiple wars, war crimes, high unemployment and a completely screwed up financial sector, Hollywood has ...
|The Day I Decided to Stop Being Heterosexual
Originally Published in the UK Times Online A minor incident in a barber&
|McDonalds presents the "You Pick the President" contest
Looking to capitalize quickly on the Supreme Court Ruling that allows corporations unlimited financial ...
|Reconciliation is an ‘Obscure Legislative Process,’ just ask the media
While congressional Democrats are fretting about what to do about health care reform, some have brought up the idea that they should use the legislative ...
|Jesus Christ joins Marines to get his message out - one bullet at a time
AFGHANISTAN – Jesus Christ looked through his rifle scope. More than 200 yards away was known Muslim Ali-Aba Khan. With preternatural calm, Christ stared intently, lining up his shot. When ...
|Everyone in the U.S. loses their keys
AMERICA – The U.S. came to a grinding halt today, as everyone in America lost their keys.
|Disgruntled Mass. Democrats to vote for Satan rather than Coakley
MASSACHUSETTS - Disgruntled Democrats - unhappy with candidate Martha ...
|NBC names Newt Gingrich new host of the 'Tonight Show'
BURBANK - Following a week that saw its late-night line-up explode in controversy, NBC has now announced that ex-Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich will be the new host of the "Tonight Show," and ...
|Sarah Palin & Fox News: One Heartbeat Away
We all knew that Sarah Palin would sign with Fox News. Now that it`s happened, though, it just feels so, so stupid. --
|Homeless Man admits he doesn`t care what Harry Reid said in 2008
SALEM, Mass. -- L.T. Johnson was busy tying a sofa to the roof of his Pinto hatchback , when he was forced to think long and ...
|Internet’s Top-3 Commenters in Nation announced by Prestigious Blog
Diarist Note: This is about my own personal blog, but it is quite witty and I ...
|Barack Obama wishes all Americans a "New Year"
WASHINGTON - President Barack Obama today officially wished all Americans a "New Year," breaking with the tradition of U.S. Presidents wishing U.S. citizens a "Happy New Year."
|Media is terrified of Patrick Byrne & Overstock.com’s anti-privacy activities
Sometimes, as a journalist, blogger, or what have you, you come across a story you think has real meat on the bone. Such was my thinking when I saw ...
|Boy, 8, pays bully to protect him - shocked when Bully turns on him
TUPELO, Miss. - Little Timmy Johnson, 8, had been having trouble with bullies at his new school in Tupelo, Miss. Having moved with his family to Mississippi several months earlier, Johnson was ...
|Santa Claus cancels Christmas due to poor investments - Elves still to receive massive bonuses
NORTH POLE - In an announcement many had feared, Santa Claus announced that he would be sitting out Christmas 2009 due to massive inventory problems. The cancellation will include all children, ...
|We must return to 'Real America'
My friends, with Barack Obam a in the White House,
|The myth of Marco Rubio and GOP dominance of Twitter
When Barack Obama began his more-or-less Keynesian approach to fixing a U.S. economy that was terribly broken, two strange things happened amongst Republicans. First, Republicans began crowing about ...
|You can’t spell "Halliburton Professional" without "Free Rape"
Today, the job market is in turmoil. Hard-working, clean-living Americans are finding themselves out of work and on unemployment lines. Families are suffering. Life is more of a struggle then ever.
|America: One Nation, Under God, Gazing at Penises
For more than 30 years, Americans of all sizes, shapes and colors admired Tiger Woods and his golf game. Now, when the ...
|Breaking: Diane Feinstein, Dick Durbin once shot a guy in Reno
WASHINGTON - Journalist William K. Wolfrum has uncovered his latest blockbuster, as he says he now has proof that U.S. Senators Diane Feinstein and Dick Durbin once shot a homeless guy in Reno. ...
|Intervention's Candy Finnigan - the last drink's on her
After a lifetime of being casual about her appearance, Candy Finnigan - one of three Interventionists on the hit Reality show "Intervention" (...
|Tiger Woods crashes into White House as Oprah quits; Or, just mash all stupid stories together
AMERICA - Golfer Tiger Woods crashed his Escalade into a White House Party yesterday, ...
|'Sarah Palin jokes will always be funny. Always!' says Blogger who once lived in Alaska
INTERNET - In a rare follow-up to himself in one of his own blog posts , noted ...
|Report: Everyone to be Comically Tasered by Year 2015
PORTLAND, Maine - A new report from the Wolfrum Alpha Resource Center states that ...
|Report: Americans tired of ‘Change We Can Believe In,’ demand new catch phrase
KANSAS - A stunning new poll from the Taibbi Research Center shows that the vast majority of Americans are now tired of President Barack Obama's mottos of "Change We Can Believe In," and other Change-
|Water found on Moon: Sarah Palin claims expertise 'I can see Moon from my house'
When NASA recently send a missile into the Moon's soil, the event was mostly used for an endless stream of jokes ...
|Health care reform passes big hurdle - Zombies take to the streets
WASHINGTON - By the skin of their teeth, Senate Democrats voted to begin formal debate on ...
|Wolf Blitzer takes to Twitter to show why CNN is last choice in cable news
When a network goes from the top of the ratings world to the very bottom , generally there's a reason.
|Sarah Palin bows to Japanese shoe company, releases book
While most of Conservative U.S. has blown three or four gaskets because ...
|Vatican: ETs may exist, but they better not be gay or use birth control
Say what you will about the reign of Pope Benedict XVI, but the guy is all about covering all the bases. In an ...
|Democrats set to adopt Republican “Always vote against Democrats” strategy
As someone who has spent a great deal of time perusing the American political landscape , I can say ...
|2012 and the Mayans - It's not like Apocalypse is the end of the world or anything
With the film "2012" opening soon, many of the world's great thinkers have accepted the movie's premise as fact. The world as we know it will come to ...
|Kareem Abdul-Jabbar & Leukemia - A Call to African-American Community to join Bone Marrow Registry
( When I learned that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has leukemia , I was terribly saddened. Because I remember my ...
|Now you can say "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq
If ever there was a time for Neo-Con, Friedman-esque jingoistic pride, that time is now. Because whatever happens now on the ground in Iraq is superfluous. The Invasion of Iraq has been won.
|Angry Townhall protesters accuse Hitler of being "the new Obama"
BERLIN (Aug. 25, 1939) -- A townhall meeting led by Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels was interrupted by angry protesters, shouting anti-Nazi chants and carrying signs ...
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