Headlines. No, not the cutting-edge comedy bit where noted influential comedian Jay Leno reads aloud typos that other people sent him. I mean the ones that appear at the top of news stories, and on the blogs we know and love.
Headlines do a lot of things. They prime us for the news we are about to consume, like a delicious breaded shrimp. They give us a foretaste of what is to come, like a product-placement punctuated movie preview.
And like a well-meaning relative who really isn't that interested in your anecdote about your dog acting just like a baby when he whines for food -- they lie to us.
I'm a bit of an efficiency nut. Around the house, on the road or at work, I'm always searching for ways to spend less time, effort and money on the things I do.
So I'd like to crack my fingers and roll up my sleeves to see if I can't bring a little whiff of this efficiency to the DKos recent diaries and recommended diaries lists.
Did you know that for every GBCW diary that makes it on the Rec List, our community wastes enough electricity to power the City of Toronto for five whole minutes? And the popular TTFN diaries use up a similar amount, only substitute the City of Detroit.
The past year has been great fun, I have to admit. Laughing around, sniggering at the teabaggers. Pointing fingers whenever they do something ignorant, silly, contrived, overreaching, hyperbolic or just plain crazy.
Oh, it's been a ball. First among Kossacks, I love a good joke.
But hey, c'mere a minute and let me tell you a little joke.
Yes, there are more important things going on in the world. Yes, electing Democrats is why we're here.
But I just got punched in the sack with this news, even if it wasn't exactly surprising.
Oh, Conesy. Why did it have to end like this?
Yes, I wrote CHRISTMAS Vacation. Deal with it, all you non-Wasps! Shouldn't have declared war on baby Jesus.
For those of you who like to skip to the end, this story ends with me chewing on a morsel of remarkable and unappreciated turkey, tasting notes of thyme, apple, candied ginger and regret.
For those of you who prefer political diaries, this isn't one. Think of it as a Hello Cruel World diary from someone who just took a long break from Daily Kos.
Hello, Kossacks! An old friend of mine was asking people this morning about how to keep her spirits up in the dead of winter. When you've got what's usually called the "winter blues," you could pretty much try anything to shake yourself out of it.
In the late fall and wintertime (there's not a dime's worth of difference between the two here in Oklahoma anyway), I generally find my attitude starts to suck. This hasn't happened to me this year, but I do empathize with those of you who are going through it.
So I'm writing today, as a friend, to offer a little advice -- some things that have worked for me -- in this nonpolitical, community-minded diary.
Of course, I am not a doctor and I don't have a degree in anything except writing and editing the news. So please don't take anything I have to say as a substitute for something a doctor or therapist has told you.
If what you have is worse than just a general "blue" feeling, you could have depression, which is a serious problem and can't simply be "shaken off." If this is your problem, please see a professional.
Now, let's go!
Love that word, "skosh." Much better than "smidgen." Rarely get to use that one in a sentence.
Anyhow, a little bit of information was called to my attention on Twitter, where I've been lurking around a bit trying to find a saner place to hang around. So I thought I'd pass it on to Kossackistan.
It seems like some of the dissatisfaction with President Obama has been more overplayed than Lady Gaga.
Daily Kos has become known as one of the best places on the blogosphere for axe grinding, and this is an important skill to learn.
We have many diarists here who can show you the proper way to grind an axe, but I'm here to provide a brief overview for those of you who still don't feel like you have the entire process memorized.
With a few tips and a little hands-on experience, anyone can work a dull, dented axe into a fine edge, ready to tackle a season's worth of yard work.
I promised myself I wouldn't hang out on Daily Kos before a major policy announcement by this president. It gets ugly.
I mean really ugly.
Wolf spider giving birth ugly.
Turtle Man of Kentucky ugly.
Croc high heels ugly.
Whole family of monkfish ugly.
Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan in 2009 ugly.
Sam the mummified wraith-dog ugly.
Sippie cup of milk left in the car ugly. I don't have pics or video of that, but parents know what I mean.
So yesterday yours truly spent some time on Twitter blowing the lid off ACORN, the world-controlling, election-swaying community organizing organization.
Then I went home, ate a God-fearing American dinner of spaghetti and enchiladas, said my prayers, got 8 hours of patriotic slumber, then got up, poured some (South) American coffee, and found something truly chilling in my e-mail inbox!
Welcome to SheKos! SheKos is a diary series where both female and male Kossacks raise topics related to feminism, women's issues and causes related to improving women's lives. The Democratic Party has made some hefty promises to women, and we're here to help remind them of that.
Here's a snarky little story I like to tell about my snarky wife.
Back when Mrs. Droogie was pregnant with Droogie Jr., (who back then was known was "Bun" because we didn't know whether he'd be a boy or a girl) I returned home from work one day to find my wife stirring up a big pot of something.
She looked at me and said, "Hey, what am I?"
Perplexed, I stammered a bit and took a stab: "Uhh... my wife?"
She gestured toward her feet, which were bare, smiled and said, "I'm barefoot and pregnant, in the kitchen cooking you dinner."
I bring this up to make the point that while we might joke about the kind of sexism that likes to tell women what their "place" is, it wasn't a joke for those who came before us. Our parents -- our moms -- lived their lives with so many limits.