War is all around us. The Taliban wreak havoc in Afghanistan, destroying French troops and girls schools with equal fervor. The Kurds and Turkmen are at each other's throats in northern Iraq, while suicide bombers blast markets and mosques to smithereens elsewhere. Algerian Islamists are back to their old tricks, blowing up themselves and whatever innocent bystanders happen to be around. Meanwhile Mr. Bush and his foreign policy experts have rekindled the Cold War in Georgia and seem to be doing their level best to spread it to Poland. Where's it all to end? If you're John McCain, it won't.

Letters to the editor that will never ever run in the New York Times:

To the Editor:

Michael Falcone's depiction of John McCain on Georgia [McCain Displays Credentials as Obama Relaxes, 8/14/2008] -- "tough," "forceful," his "fluency," his "aura of commander in chief," read like McCain campaign literature. The parroting of Cokie Roberts on Obama's "exotic" Hawaii vacation did nothing to dispel the impression.

But is McCain to be taken seriously? Wikipedia says his Georgia expertise was cribbed from the online encyclopedia. McCain's chief foreign policy advisor was until recently a lobbyist for the Georgian government. And where Falcone found toughness and forcefulness, the President of Georgia himself scorned McCain's saber rattling, advising him to swap empty words for deeds.

On the other hand a Hawaiian beach might be good for the bellicose McCain's blood pressure. It would also give him time to read up on Georgia beyond its Wikipedia entry. As for any excess exoticism, that's a matter of perspective. Take a Hawaiian to New York's Brighton Beach and the first whiff of borscht would tell him he wasn't on Waikiki any more.

From the co-author of the John Kerry slander Unfit for Command comes Jerome Corsi's The Obama Nation. Mr. Corsi, who styles himself doctor on account of his alleged doctoral degree, once again tops the best seller list with his new novel about Barack Obama.

Media Matters has been following this author's career, unearthing such considered Corsi opinions as "Boy buggering in both Islam and Catholicism is okay with the Pope as long as it isn't reported by the liberal press." The media watchdog site also notes that Corsi claims both in his new book and repeatedly on TV that Obama supports abortion -- even after birth. Such insights can come from no ordinary man. As the author myself of several novels so far from achieving the best seller list they've yet to be published, I decided to learn more about Jerome R. Corsi, Ph.D. Applying the same scrupulous research techniques employed by Corsi in his several novels,  I learned the following startling facts:

McCain the mighty warrior
Has made of me a worrier
With all his saber rattlin'
Does he mean to go battlin'
'gainst foes like the Russians
Without dire repercussions?

For McCain I have news:
If more war you choose
Go fight them alone.
We will stay home
So if there's a casualty
It will be nugatory.

The Bush legacy appeared to be as catastrophic as it could be. A financial system the envy of the world for its stability, transparency, and efficiency reduced to banana republic volatility through the administration's indifference and lack of oversight. Lurching from banking crisis to banking crisis like Argentina is our fate until a grown-up restores sanity. Recession, rising unemployment, and a household debt and housing meltdown are but some of the concomitants of Bush economics. A federal surplus bequeathed by Clinton, transformed into a multi-trillion budget deficit by Bush financial alchemists.

The McCain campaign has a new program:  Just spread favorable McCain comments around the web, and you earn points leading to exciting prizes. Prizes such as a ride on the Dire Straits Express! It doesn't get any better than that. There's just one problem. The suggested favorable comments, or "talking points" to use the term of art, are extremely lame. One sample: John McCain has a comprehensive economic program. Yawn. The McCain camp needs much more exciting material to ignite the kind of grass roots fire they're aiming for. If the following items don't get me a ride with the McCain campaign, I'll be truly shocked:

Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Dear Diary,

Nobody has a sense of humor anymore. Everyone used to crack up at my jokes. The Chelsea Clinton joke! The gorilla joke! But now I just get criticized for being offensive. Sheesh. I can't even threaten my senate colleagues with waterboarding without getting sour looks. It's gotten so bad I hired a guy to write me some new material. Lemme try it out on you, Diary:

Monday, August 04, 2008
Dear Diary,

I've never been proud of my country until right now. Or maybe I mean I've never been AS proud of my country. Whatever. Country first, America Uber Alles. So I lay out my policies one after the other. The economy: be richer, you rich. Health: don't get sick, especially if you're poor. National security: just say "war". Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran – there's a reason why war rhymes with more. Energy: drill on in, the water's fine. Housing: what, me worry? Me and Cindy-pills have like eight of them. Climate change: with bespoke Savile Row suits in ultra-tropical weight filling my closets, turn up the thermostat all you want. At my age cold's a killer anyway. Education: don't know much about history, biology, a science book, the French I took. It's my party and I can say Czechoslovakia if I want to.

Sunday, August 03, 2008
Dear Diary,

I take a lot of flack for occasionally getting a little confused about things. Like Sunni and Shia. The borders of Pakistan and Iraq. The timeline of the glorious surge. What my positions are on stem cell research, social security privatization, offshore drilling, tax cuts for the rich, benefits for veterans. The name of the country formerly known as Czechoslovakia. Right and wrong. Little things that anyone could get confused about.

Saturday, August 02, 2008
Dear Diary,

Call me a senior, but boy do I have game. Mr. Uppity just doesn't know what hit him. Two days in a row on the front page of the NY Times, showcasing my 'Osama plays the race card' theme. Lovely stuff, like a garbage disposal running in reverse. No questioning of my gutter tactics. No discussion of the truth of Mr. U's complaint that we're scaring people with his skin color, funny name, funny upbringing, potential for proximity to panty-less blondes (duh, duh, duh!). Just a straightforward repetition of Osama plays the race card. A pious analysis of how it's affecting his campaign! I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. Even though I did. I love playing these press clowns. My base? My ass.

Friday, August 1, 2008
Dear Diary,
This is so exciting. You know how I'm learning to computer? Well I found this interweb page devoted to Geritol! You can order it right there and I would have except I couldn't remember where I left my credit card. It's very helpful because the other day it was time for my dose and the bottle was empty. Cindy-pills offered to share hers but I just can't trust that bitch. I mean, she'll put anything in a bottle and drink it.  I couldn't call my assistant to get me more because I forgot his phone number. I wonder: can you order Depends on the interweb?

Thursday, July 31, 2008
Dear Diary,
Sorry I didn’t have time to write yesterday. Trying to pee. But I’ve been having much more fun lately Diary. Since I brought Rove’s boys on board, Schmidt and – you know. And what’s his name.  Anyway since then my campaign’s been rockin’. First we crucificated Mr. Uppity for turning a cold shoulder to our wounded boys over in Germany. And that was pretty funny because you remember Jim Webb’s new Vets bill that’s going to provide medical and education benefits for our boys and girls in uniform, and how I voted against it? Well I really did spurn the troops, and we’re assaulting the big O for spurning our troops. Genius. I’m beginning to see how Rove got that brain-dead asshole of a president of ours elected twice.

John McCain just has no shame,
Who knew he’d stoop so low?
At Barack’s door he lays the blame
For oil high and econ slow

Falling stocks and housing woes
Costly food, each bank that fails
Endless war that nowhere goes
Drought and flood, crowded jails.

For potholes and broken bridges
Polluted water, dirty air
Mosquitoes and summer midges
Heat and dust, boombox blare.

For cloudy days and dirty beaches
Famine, Ignorance, Pestilence, Grief.
Don’t you think he over-reaches
Strains the bounds of our belief?

Oh John Sidney you certain sinner
Telling lies of such transparency.
Proof positive this evil liver
Cannot be taken seriously.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Dear Diary,

Cretin Reagan, the Teflon president? I’m better. The NYT keeps throwing dirt at me and none of it sticks. Yesterday’s big story on lobbyists in my campaign? Forgotten by today. They put the Vikster on the front page for cryin’ out loud, and who even remembers her just a coupla months later? I sure don’t, but then my memory isn’t what it used to be. Anyway what with her looking just like Cindy-pills most times I wasn’t really sure who was who anyway. ‘Specially in the dark. Stealth mistress! Gotta get some of my defense contractor pals working on that one.

Right lies. Just a choice few:

High oil prices are the fault of Democrats who oppose drilling more wells in the U.S. The oil companies are already sitting on sixty-eight million acres of leased land they haven’t begun to explore for oil. The oil supply is controlled by the OPEC cartel and refined and distributed by the oil company oligopoly. The price of oil is whatever the cartel and oligopoly want it to be.

Kos is reporting that South Carolina is strong for John McCain. There's good reason for that. According to The Economist, South Carolina leads the nation in hate groups.  There are more organizations that hate more different people in South Carolina than anywhere.  They hate Jews, blacks, gays, Muslims – there’s more than enough hate to go around.  South Carolina has white supremacist groups, neo-nazis, you name it, including an outfit called the League of the South, whose aim is to secede from the U.S.  Those of us who thought that controversy settled for good in 1865 must have missed something. SC has plenty of other attractions too:

John McCain, like Hillary Clinton and many other Washington warriors, justifies the Iraq war by insisting that before we invaded every intelligence service in the world thought Saddam Hussein had WMD. McCain repeated the claim for the umpteenth time just last week. Since he’s never called on this particular brazen lie, it appears the press either can’t read or has no short term memory.

When John McCain cracks jokes about a woman beaten and raped by an ape, and about killing Iranians with cigarettes, his partisans say it’s the Arizona senator demonstrating his authenticity. "McCain being McCain" they chorus approvingly. Maverick McCain rides again.

He harps on Czechoslovakia, which split into Slovakia and the Czech Republic fifteen years ago. He’s concerned about the Iraq-Pakistan border, which would indeed be a potential trouble spot if only it existed. He thinks Sunni Al Qaeda trains in Shiite Iran.