Unlike many Americans, I vote in my own self-interest.  At 24, though, I am less concerned with my economic well-being than with my level of sexual satisfaction.  And to this I vote accordingly.

Which is why I must throw my support behind Obama.  From what I remember of high school history lessons and without bothering to check Wikipedia, I can say for certain that when liberal presidents are in office the sexual attitudes of Americans liberalizes as well.  JFK in the 60's led to free love.  Carter?  The orgy/coke decade.  And we all know what happened with Reagan; Just Say No.

But now our country is poised to elect a youthful, charismatic black man as president and the music that that brings to my ears closely resembles the crinkling of a condom wrapper.

So, Michelle Malkin, possibly on a vicarious high from her faked bikini photos, has now entered the world of gay porn distribution.

The  conservative blogger (read: heinous windbad) has been running several unhinged rants about some obscure California Gay BDSM street fair.  

Of course, she also links to a site that has around, oh, I'd say at least 100 pictures of hardcore gay pornography (I counted about 60 on the first page at least,) with the photos blurred out.  

Of course, you ALSO have the option of "unblurring" the picture.

You know, strictly for informational purposes, since her conservative Republican readers are all manly, straight-laced, heterosexual dynamos.

Because for ONCE, the Left has used dirty and insulting tactics in a mainstream outlet to attack the far-right and the Bush administration.

I wish it weren't so, but most of us on the left are wimps--most on the right are wimps too, but they are wimps who are adept at groupthink and as such create the illusion of collective strength.

You don't have to have what you say backed up by facts, you just have to say it really, really loudly, over and over again.  MoveOn.Org knows this.

When someone admits the veracity of Noam Chomsky's social and political analysis, that does not mean they are a leftist.

When someone argues that the war in Iraq began largely to help US corporations make money through profiteering and by securing oil resources, that does not mean they are a leftist.

When someone accuses the US government's policy as akin to hegemonic imperialism, that does not mean they are a leftist.

It means they are a realist.

On the other hand, when someone advocates that gays be treated as sub-humans, that men are naturally superior to women, that war in the name of ideology is not only acceptable but morally correct, that we need to return to the values of the past when religion was the driving force behind every institution in society, well, that means you are either:

A) Osama bin Laden

or

B) A Republican wingnut

Under no circumstances should the Democratic party stand for the resignation of Larry Craig from the US Senate.

Sen. Craig's arrest in a men's room for allegedly soliciting an undercover officer for anonymous gay sex is not just another scandal, it is a godsend.  Add to that the fact that Larry Craig has the public relations expertise of a cucumber sandwich and this is a perfect storm, a collective wound on the GOP that we must help fester so that it may not heal in time for the '08 elections.

 Any good Kossack has by now surely read about the various indications that the Bush administration is gearing up for a major military strike on Iran.  
 
 Diarist Maccabee  wrote an extensive account of a conversation he had with a good friend who is currently stationed on a US carrier in the Gulf of Hormel.  Besides that, there have been various hints of military action in the form of recently completed war games commissioned by the Bush administration on strategies to attack Iran.

But these warning signs pale in comparison to an even more disturbing and much less ambiguous sign:  my cat, Pancake, ran away last Saturday and I have not heard from her since.

Also, my mind encompasses yours, and that makes me feel good.

In Islam, men are promised virgins in heaven, but they are not just promised ordinary women who have not had their hymen penatrated---they are promised something more akin to a robot, a being lacking free will and desiring only to serve her husband in all his sexual desires.

I can't help but think that maybe Miss Teen South Carolina has been promised to one of the more notable Islamic matyrs of recent history.  To be this clueless about, well, about EVERYTHING, and still be held up as one of the hallmarks of womanly virture on national TV--surely we must be living in some warped reality that values physical beauty to the point that even a skull filled with nothing but air and cum could become a model which young women aspire to.

The answer Miss Teen South Carolina gives, if it can really be qualified as an answer, is not just poorly worded or poorly  reasoned.  No, it is clear that she does not even understand the question being asked.

My God, have you heard?  Have you heard the news?

I don't want to alarm anyone at this point, but our nation's Ferry systems may be the next target of Islamic radical "sleeper cells."

It seems that alert citizen-watchmen recently observed two men "behaving suspiciously" while on a recent ferryboat ride in Washington state.  Authorities also disclosed that a "suspicious package" was found in the ferry's bathroom.

The only thing I can say is this: we were warned.  

The Ferry system is at the heart of America's lake and small river transportation industry, moving several dozen passengers, cars, and irrepressibly handsome gunslingers each year.

So goes the electronic rumor mill: Jenna Bush is pregnant out of wedlock.

Now is a time, my fellow liberals, for great pettiness and terrible vindictiveness.  I believe that we, as a community, squandered the Mary Cheney lesbian pregnancy when it fell into our collective laps like mana from heaven those months ago.  The poster child, literally, for the hypocrisy of our nation's conservative elite, and we treated it with less regard than we gave to a zombie kid who likes turtles.

Not that the Left ignored the story, of course, but we let it fizzle relatively quickly when it should have blazed, blazed, BLAZED with non-stop, around the clock, soul-crushing voyeurism for every single month that the child gestated.

Then, the mad paparazzi rush for the first picture of the little spawn would have sent the lesbian neo-con fleeing the hospital tearstained on the verge of a post-postpartum induced nervous breakdown.

It has become a compulsion, though I do not consider it an unhealthy one, for me to consider during a time of carelessness and frivolity what my current circumstances would be if I lived not in an affluent, middle class suburb, but in Iraq.

At the party I attended last night, my major concern was trying to get laid.  I failed, of course, as I most always do, and so I had to fill the void with some other stimulant, and that is when I met the Marine.

Viciousness.  

We are too nice.  Maybe it comes from the generally pacifist leanings that progressives tend to hold, perhaps we are just more civilized than our fellow conservatives, but whatever it is we need to learn to become more ruthless.

The left often decries the tactics Karl Rove, Rush, Michelle Malkin, Coulter and the rest employ, demogauges who regularly indulge in character assassination, demonization, and single-minded desire to utterly destroy their ideological enemies.  We say, "We will rise above such measures, we will show that we are principled and respectful toward our fellow citizens even if they will not do the same."

We need to stop.