"All you have to do is follow three simple rules."

I don’t particularly like to publicize this, but I love watching Road House, the 1989 "classic" in which Patrick Swayze plays Dalton, a special breed of bouncer known as a "cooler."  

I’ll be the first to admit that Road House is a perfectly atrocious film with few if any redeeming qualities.  Were you to call it execrable, I’d hardly be in a position to argue with you.  But, you know, sometimes the heart wants what it wants.  And sometimes my heart wants Dalton’s entirely stupid but strangely lyrical brand of wisdom to wash over me, even if it means I’ll need to take a shower afterwards.

With Patrick Swayze’s pancreatic cancer in the news, I found myself thinking of Dalton’s "three simple rules" for maintaining order in tawdry establishments.  This is an admittedly ridiculous exercise, but I’m wondering if there might be a lesson or two for us primary addicts lurking deep within the Double Deuce.  

[Edited to reflect a slightly more realistic world view - L.L.]

A lot of cyber-ink has already been spilled on this evening's New York Times piece on McCain and Vicki Iseman.  I wanted to take a moment to focus attention on an extremely curious passage from the McCain campaign's press release responding to the article.  

Here's the line from the release that grabbed my attention:  

"John McCain has a 24-year record of serving our country with honor and integrity."

Let's unpack this for a minute.

Friends and fellow citizens, I fear our newly minted Democratic majority, particularly on the Senate side, will in the end lack the courage to impose the sort of fiscal restrictions that would deny the President his much desired escalation.  And the reason will be simple, not to mention utterly depressing:  Senate Democrats, particularly the moderates who use the slim majority as a cudgel against the party leadership, simply do not have the stomach for the potential Constitutional crisis to which such bold action could so easily lead.  In other words, to stand up to the President now would be to commit to fighting the greatest political battle perhaps since the Civil War.  Forget the first 100 hours.  We would enter a 100 week battle for the survival of every check and balance enshrined in the Constitution

This should be an historic moment in our nation's history when the people's representatives step back from the abyss and reject the creeping monarchical ambitions of an out-of-control executive.  Instead, far too many of our Democratic legislators seem poised to squander a clear mandate in favor of self-castration.

Look no further than to what Harry Reid said today...

I was down in Dallas last week on business, and I spent a few minutes chatting with a woman who once served as then-Governor Bush's director of criminal affairs.  Some highlights:

My parents are working class folks living in Michigan.  They are socially conservative Democrats and will almost certainly vote for Kerry, although they're not quite ready to admit it.  I was talking to my Mom tonight and found myself surprised by her blunt, prescient analysis of the presidential contest.

Hmmmm...wonder what's happening here.  If you search for "Outfoxed" on Netflix, you get an error message.  If you search for a movie they have in stock, you get a link to that movie.  If you search for any other film not currently carried by Netflix, you get the standard "No exact matches..." screen.  

Any theories?

Hey, Iraq...come upstairs.  I need help with the...umm...with the lawnmower.  Let's go through the living room.  Surprise!  You're sovereign!  

Apparently the Post didn't think much of the party.

There was no noticeable celebratory gunfire, which often occurs at commemorative moments in Iraq.

No word on the incidence of keg stands.  

The participants then stood and Bremer opened the blue portfolio to read from the document inside. "The Coalition Provisional Authority will cease to exist on June twenty-eighth," he said. "At that point, the occupation will end."

Well, except for the minor matter of those 130,000 U.S. troops.  But, hey, that portfolio is leather!

Oh, it's not?  It's the thought that counts...

Let's keep a running tally of how many pundits try to convince us that the war is over today.

Chairman Orrin Hatch (R-UT) and his Senate Judiciary Committe cordially invite you to celebrate the marriage of bigotry and fear at 10:00 a.m. in the Dirksen building.  

This "hearing" on same-sex marriage features the following "fair and balanced" line-up of witnesses:

Gov. Mitt Romney (R-MA)
-Hates gays.

Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R-CO)
-Hates gays.

Bob Barr (R-Ga)
-Hates gays.  Loves antique firearms.

You can feel the love live here.

I strolled down to GWU's campus today in an effort to catch a glimpse of the Howard Dean/John Kerry endorsement event.  Not being a member of the GWU community, I wasn't able to get a ticket ahead of time, so I parked myself outside the fence thinking that I'd simply listen and watch the backs of Dean's and Kerry's respective heads from several hundred feet away.  No such luck. After stading around for 20 minutes or so waiting for the event to get underway, a man in a suit approached me.  

"You have to either keep moving, or leave the area.  You can't just stand there."

"Why is that?" I asked.  

"Because I'm a Secret Service agent, and I'm telling you to leave."  

End of conversation.  This is the new paradigm in expressing free speech through organizing peaceably.  Not only are you not allowed to get past the fence, you're no longer even allowed not to get past the fence.  

Not exactly.

While attending a Financial Services subcommittee hearing on housing counseling this morning, I was fortunate enough to hear some real gems escape from the mouth of the Congressman from the Golden State's 42nd District:

On scrutinizing affordable housing-related bills:

"Whenever I look at legislation, I look at how the private sector can be held liable in court."

I'm sure those words inspired the Project CloseUp kids in the back of the room to pursue public service.  

On being sensitive to diversity:

"I know certain Muslims, for example, that are not allowed to shake my hand.  Because I'm a heathen, apparently."

Maybe they just don't like you, Gary.

Have they no shame?

Scalia told a gathering at Amherst College on Tuesday night there was nothing improper about his accompanying Cheney to Louisiana last month to hunt ducks. The trip came three weeks after the Supreme Court agreed to hear the Bush administration's appeal in a case involving private meetings of Cheney's energy task force.

"It did not involve a lawsuit against Dick Cheney as a private individual," Scalia said in response to a question from the audience of about 600 people. "This was a government issue. It's acceptable practice to socialize with executive branch officials when there are not personal claims against them. That's all I'm going to say for now. Quack, quack."

Maybe the next time he talks about WMDs, Bush can end a sentence with, "Boom boom!"

Daily Kos fans from coast to coast appear to suffer nervous breakdowns each time a daily tracking poll is updated.  Several of you have pointed out that these tracking polls are flawed because 1) they tend to undercount persons who have never voted in a caucus or primary before, and 2) many younger voters may have eschewed land lines in favor of cell phones, making it more difficult to contact them for polling purposes.  Some people seem to think this could be especially true of Dean supporters.

So, where does the Daily Kos community come down on the great cell phone versus land line debate?

Dean to Iowa opponents: "You won't like me when I'm angry."  

Well, he didn't say that, but I certainly wouldn't have minded.  Dean's been trying to stay above the fray, perhaps forgetting that what many of his supporters admire most about him is his willingness to mix it up.  

Looks like the gloves are coming off.

Check it out:

Democratic frontrunner Howard Dean is holding his lead against the field of Democratic presidential challengers with 24 percent of the vote of registered Democrats and Democratic leaners, according to the latest Newsweek Poll. Missouri Rep. Dick Gephardt and Ret. Gen. Wesley Clark are tied for second with 12 percent each -- a seven-point jump from the Dec. 18-19 Newsweek Poll for Gephardt. Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry gets 11 percent of the vote (a 5-point jump from the December poll) and Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman gets seven percent, the poll shows.

Dean also leads the pack of Democratic contenders as the candidate Democrats and Democratic-leaning voters believe is most likely to defeat President George W. Bush if nominated (33% say so); as the candidate who would do the best job managing the economy and creating jobs (27%); who best represents their views on Bush's Iraq policy and the decision to go to war (26%) and who best represents their values and concerns (28%).

Well, not all of them, obviously.  But show the supposedly controversial passages in their entirety.  My guess is they would do a lot more good than harm.

From the Los Angeles Times:

Gephardt, in Marshalltown, Iowa, declined to talk to reporters about Harkin's decision. His spokeswoman, Kim Molstre, said the congressman would speak with reporters after speaking by phone with Harkin. She said Gephardt had not heard from the senator as of midday.

Everyone's talking about how Howard is no longer responding to attacks from his rivals...he's focused on Bush...he's letting his press people handle attacks, etc.  I'm sick of that shit.  I want to see HoHo kick some ass.  I want to see him on the Today show rolling up his sleeves, pointing into the camera, and yelling, "You want to accuse me of fraud, Dick?  Meet me by the flagpole in downtown Des Moines and let's tango!"  

Who is with me?

P.S. I drank some beer tonight.

All right, ever since the outlier-ish CNN/USA/Gallup poll hit the street, people have been acting as if some sort of sea change has occurred.  The SCLM pundits are foaming at their collective mouth, the Clark people are deliriously happy, and the Deaniacs are saying things like "it's crunch time!" and "guys, we need to write MORE letters."  

Personally, I'm not convinced yet that this supposed tightening of the race is anything more than a matter of perception fueled by a single poll, but what do I know...

Anyway, the Dean campaign seems to be trying on some new strategies for size, so they must be taking things seriously enough.  If I were Joe Trippi, here are a few moves I'd want to make: