My mom passed away last Friday and it's been a maelstrom of emotion since then. We - sons, sisters, grandchildren, friends - spent last week going through her small 2-bedroom apartment. If you haven't had to do this then I can't describe the pain in knowing that someone you love so deeply is gone - forever. It makes me cry just to say it; I'm not done crying, I'm sure.

It's impossible to go into how much my mom meant to me so I won't try. I am what I am because of her. Last week before I left I shared this with those close to the campaign. These words are a small view of what she has done for me and how this community has helped me give her two fantastic gifts - pride and happiness. You all have helped me give her both.

I know a lot of people will be in DC this weekend letting Bush and Congress know that we need to be out of Iraq now. My friend OPOL says it so well but I will be there in spirit.

I'm honored to be on FDL tomorrow for an online interview with Howie Klein. I've talked to Howie off and on since I was first considering running for Congress and his support and help along the way has been invaluable. I will never forget the part he played in helping me decide to do this.

Even though a lot of us connect here online, tomorrow will be a chance to ask for more details on the campaign or me in general. Many of you know me through DKos and have come to know me as the candidate for Congress born from the netroots. I've shared some of my pain-turn-joy and some of my concerns for America now is chance for us to get to know each other a little bit more.

This year's YK2007 was absolutely incredible.  For me there were many fantastic aspects to this trip--foremost among them meeting people and feeling the love and support for our campaign for Congress.  It was an event and a feeling I will never forget.

There were so many beautiful people who wanted to shake my hand and who offered me congratulations, words of encouragement and contributions. Teacherken was fabulously helpful; he dragged me to meet John Dean, George Lakoff and Jeffrey Feldman, Darcy Burner and others.

I know we as a community and our campaign for Congress have arrived for a lot of reasons. Not the least is that we have the support and offers of help from Ken, George and Jeffrey to go along with that of so many people who stopped me this weekend to offer congratulations and support and contributions.

Yesterday Senator Kerry posted a great call to action diary. As a community member I think John Kerry is a member in good standing. He pays attention and he contributes. I don't think there is any greater American than John Kerry.

I have one very small issue but it's not one to generate anger. It just shows how in a very small way that I think some people are not really aware of what's been happening here lately.

While DKos is full of debating and echoes, this makes me think we have more work to do to become the change we want in others and showing that we can do it.

This inspiration for this diary?

I don’t think this is a time for us to just join a debating society or echo chamber where we talk exclusively to each other

Caution is preferable to rash bravery - Sir John Falstaff, King Henry the Fourth, Part I

Falstaff may be beloved, but he was not who you wanted leading you into battle.  Political challengers today need to be brave, brash, maybe even a little rash.

In World War II, when the gates came down in LCVPs (Landing Craft, Vehicle, Personnel), exposing the marines and soldiers inside to uncounted barrages of fire, they didn't sit around discussing whether it was prudent to charge ahead with the goal of defeating a formidable enemy.  No one had to order them to go to give their lives; they just did it.  They had a world to save and they gave their lives for a cause they believed in.
(Wikipedia)

Today, those of us who would defend the Constitution have a new fight.  Today, as a Democrat, a veteran, and a longtime member of this community, I’m marching off to that fight.

I’m running for Congress.

This is a difficult subject to talk about. Americans are happy if they're not paying attention or "not satisfied" with the direction of the country. But no matter how they feel when you talk to them they probably all take for granted that the state of the country is just a little or moderately off and will soon be back on track.

Seven years ago a Turkish friend of mine said that America would have a civil war within 20 years. I was shocked that she would say this. I tried to convince her that the checks and balances built into our system would prevent that from happening.

What I couldn't anticipate is a situation that would lead to such a bitter division that existed for so long. We're not so divided now but there are still forces out there trying to tear us apart so that they can take over. Now, it scares me to think how close we came to being taken over. Even though it feels like the tide is changing, we're not out of the woods yet.

We are in Constitutional Crisis now; the Constitutional Confrontation is yet to come.

I'm having a difficult time with this from the Blue Dog Democrats. I thought Joe was out of touch and he was all we had to worry about but these people are clueless and it's embarrassing that they have (D) after their name. And there are 44 of them! Amazing.

Here's what they're striving for - they don't want the occupation to stop. God knows why but like good politicians they say they want to make sure we know where all the money goes and who's spending it.

I'm beside myself with anger at this crap. Poll after poll after poll shows Americans want the troops out and while there's some quibbling over how long to take, a huge majority want us out of there. So, what are these idiots talking about? Spending the money efficiently and with accountability. Well, whoopdi freakin do; they sound like good Republicans to me. Kill some more people and watch more Americans die but spend the money wisely.

Follow me below for more detail.

Representative Maurice Hinchey (D-NY) plans to introduce a bill that will break up media monopolies and restore fairness doctrine.

He's even talking about it finally putting a stop to America becoming a fascist state. Now, that it's somewhat safer to talk about this outside of Dkos and other blogs it's coming out that more than Sandra Day O'Connor were concerned with the direction the country was taking.

Follow me below but if you'd like to read the whole article here you go. Let me know how I've done with fair use. It's a long article and I left a lot more out then in.

My niece, demdiva wrote a couple of diaries letting you all know the nature of my family's personal events of the past 10 days here and here. I read the first diary but not the second until last night. The best wishes, prayers and emails were greatly apprciated and brought back the emotion of the past couple of weeks.  I was mostly too distraught to do anything other than be with family and my son as he struggled to live and we struggled to get through it. I tried very hard to keep the thoughts that we might lose him out of my mind but they managed to sneak in when I least expected it. When they did, the tears would flow.

I visited the DKos community and managed to make a few comments before succumbing to the grief once again. That effort showed me that I would have to retract into another world for a while and devote all my energy and thought to the situation.

It's not a game where you shake hands when it's over and say "good game". You've screwed America, Americans and the world. You've destroyed two countries. You deserve nothing but a jail cell.

[Update: Changed picture to one from our apartment in Sydney one beautiful morning]

I'm in the early stages of feeling that we have our hands on the edge of the hole and are about ready to pull ourselves out of it. I hope you are too.

I was going to make this a diary forcussing on Steve Young Ca 48th Irvine but decided at this point to leave that out of the title and focus on the more general theme of positivity.

Steve has been on local and LA area radio doing interviews and had articles and interviews in local newspapers. He's been on Al Franken's and Randi Rhodes. As important at these big names are they are mostly preaching-to-the-choir shows.

Now he's made the LA Times and in a major column. Dana Parson's did a pretty good job of playing the non-believer and I haven't talked to Steve to get his feel for how he thought it went but Steve came out very well.

George and Karl are both talking confidently about the outcome of the upcoming elections. I'll ignore Bush's confidence because he's simply a follower and saying only what he's supposed to say. Karl is the one who scares me when he is (acting?) supremely confident about retaining control of both the House and the Senate with this election. Given that every poll that's been out shows that at least Congress will fall to Dems why is he so confident?

Before I wrote this diary I as shaking scared that Rove was confident that Republicans could steal this election. I'm not so sure of that so I went back and changed the title of this diary from "I'm scared" to what you see now.

Oh and rumor has it that based on this poll the Big Dog - yes, that Big Dog - is seriously considering coming out later this month to stand with Steve. 'Nuff said for now. Now, let's show that we can make a difference so that others will know we mean business.

So, why is he on fire?  Follow me below the fold.

In a conversation I had with Steve while we were waiting for the parade to start Steve shared with me a lot of details of his campaign that I didn't know about.

I know Steve as a  great guy and a tireless campaigner. Last Jan I spent a month walking every night putting out door hangers on apartments until 1am to 3am every night. It was cold and rained a few times; at least we didn't have to do it in the snow and sub-freezing temperatures.

Follow me below the fold for a list of what Steve has done to build an organization from scratch with no big money.

Just to catch you if you haven't been following it Floyd Landis had the Yellow jersey and looked like he was on his way to taking it into Paris for the win.