You have been given the assignment to come up with lines to use in the campaign. The rules are that you can't use profanity and you can't resign if Clinton gets angry about your comments.

Here are some examples:

Flag Pin, Pledge and Bible
I have been criticized for not wearing a tin flag pin made in China. I see a lot of flag pin patriots working day and night to undermine our hard fought rights under the Constitution. As president I will put my hand on the bible and pledge to protect and defend the Constitution.  I will salute the flag and I will fight these flag pin patriots to restore our democracy.

Win at any price
Senator Clinton will try anything to get elected. Now she is using the kitchen sink approach. She is dancing around, waving her hands, using a sarcastic tone and just throwing anything at me to see if it will stick. That is right out of the Karl Rove play book. In a fast moving campaign theatrics and spin can pay off temporarily. But as George Bush learned when you play by Rove's rules you pay a price in governance. You may get elected, but you fracture the country in the process.

At the beginning of an Obama rally.

Obama comes to the microphone before a crowd of thousands and says a few words. He then announces that the final delegate count  has come in and we have WON THE BATTLE IN TEXAS... stirring victory music is piped in and confetti begins falling from the ceiling. People on either side of Obama raise his hands in a victory solute. Everyone on the rostrum is smiling and waving. Suddenly Obama looks around at the crowd and signals for everyone's attention. The music stops and the last bit of confetti falls to the ground.

Obama turns to the camera and says.

My name is Barack Hussein Obama and I approve this message.

My opponent celebrated her 8 [insert actual number] delegate margin of victory on  March 4th with a photo op by releasing confetti and doing a victory dance worthy of a Super Bowl winning touchdown. This typifies the posturing and stage managed approach the Clinton camp seems to think voters want to see. We have tried to run a campaign based on reality and truth.

continued below the fold...

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Howard Kurtz is the ultimate Regurgilist - Glenn Greenwald has the story.

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Tim Russert - The Village Physician

The Village Physician relies on time tested "cures." He clings to the need to balance the four humours. That is why his examinations painfully include the study and manipulation of bile and phlegm. The most reliable treatment is invariably bloodletting. We are in awe of his knowledge and skill.

The image above depicts the good doctor inspecting the lying tongue of his favorite patient, the Lieberman baby.

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Celebrating Obama's lOcal-motion victory in the islands and his neighbor state of Wisconsin.

Obama won last night after a navigating through a week of heavy political surf. Glenn Greenwald sums it up perfectly. I read they are literally marching to the polls in Texas.

More images sizes below the fold.

We don't need four more years of plastic turkey photo ops.

We don't need four more years of make believe while disaster strikes.

Props to dkos user shpilk for the guitar image idea.

John McCain Is Bush 44: Brent Budowsky said it in the Smirking Chimp a year ago.

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There is a lot of drivel in the press about the Cult of Obama. Crooks and Liars has part of the story.

I don't recall hearing about the cult of Bush in the MSM. Did I miss the 60 minutes coverage of the Kool-Aid drinking 24%? This is all part of the coming sh*t storm. Barack the 'shady Chicago socialist' and etc. I guess I will wait for the movie version.

More images below the fold:

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John McCain - The Pander Bear holding photos of his beloved George Bush and Jerry Falwell.

More McCain images below the fold:
John McCain - The Little Captain
John McCain with a Bush Chimp on his back
John McCain with bloddy hands and a Bush Chimp on his back
Happy John McCain
Angry John McCain
The John McCain Cheerleaders: McCain, Graham and Lieberman

Crazy Uncle Joe keeps exposing himself.
Can we stop inviting him to our party now?

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Borat Lieberman to be the next Zell Miller

"Aides to Lieberman, who was in Germany and unavailable for comment, said it is 'quite possible' that the self-described independent Democrat will be headed to the Twin Cities for the GOP convention," reported the Stamford Advocate's Neil Vigdor on Monday.
RAW STORY

At least Joe Lieberman is no longer a Super Delegate.

MSNBC is currently showing a special one hour biography of Hillary Clinton. Are they doing this for Obama as well? For some reason the info from my DirectTV menu shows that the program currently playing is "Deadly Encounter The murder of Kendra Webdale."

The title mix up is just a strange, but true  side note.

My real concern is the free media. If MSNBC is running one hour biographies of candidates they should cover all the candidates.

More below the fold:

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John McCain - The Little Captain.
John McCain channels his inner Frenchman with Napoleonic dreams of a 100 years war.

More McCain images below the fold:
John McCain - The Little Captain
Happy John McCain
Angry John McCain
The John McCain Cheerleaders: McCain, Graham and Lieberman

Mitt Romney Bites the Dust

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Romney to announce his final flop at CPAC.

I imagined myself creating campaign materials for John McCain and here is what I came up with.

Bumper Sticker Number 1

More below the fold:

We are all involved with the election results in South Carolina,
but let's remember to take action to defend the Constitution.

Don't Forget FISA - Stop the Republican Cloture Vote!

CALL and/or EMAIL your Senators and Harry Reid and tell him/her
to vote no on McConnell's cloture vote on the FISA bill.

Contact info is available here:
http://www.senate.gov/...

Here is an email form
http://act.credomobile.com/...

Harry Reid:
202-224-3542

I called and emailed my Senators and Reid's office a few minutes ago. I got through on the phone with no problem. The phone lines are not busy. We need to let our Senators know we are watching and want them to support the Leahy amendment to the FISA bill.

Contact info is available here:
http://www.senate.gov/...

Here is an email form
http://act.credomobile.com/...

Harry Reid:
202-224-3542

Bill Clinton - Ex-President and Democratic Party Elder

Can't we all just get along and support Hillary?

I few months back I set out to illustrate prominent Chickenhawks. At the time I was offering to do images on request. DailyKos diarist 8ackgr0und N015e took me up on the offer and requested a series depicting "Fledgling Chickenhawks" as named in his diary.

The Chickenhawk frame had interested me for a while. I was particularly offended by these wingnuts who passionately argue for and defend the use of force in Iraq and the so called Global War on Terror, yet fail to heed their own call to take up arms. You can enlist up to the age of 42. The Chickenhawks I have chosen to illustrate are all under 42. I now call this group of under 42 year olds "The 43^rd Chairborne Chickenhawks, The George W. Bush Brigade". The 43 is meant to honor our 43^rd President of the United States. I started with 8ackgr0und N015e's list and expanded it a little.

MSNBC's Manwich-in-Chief: Chris Matthews

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"I want some fun piled on a bun, I want a Manwich please!"

I like Keith Olbermann, Rachael Maddow and David Shuster, but Chris Matthews forces me to watch MSNBC election coverage with the sound off. I don't get where he is coming from at all. Do you think Chris Matthews has been anchoring while intoxicated? He alternates between drooling over conservative man meat or mistreating women (particularly Hillary Clinton) on his show. Chris has swooned over Bush's cod piece, Thompson's aroma, and Romney's barrel chest. He should give up on news an become the spokesmodel for Manwich.