I wrote this as a comment to someone else’s story, but I had too much fun with it not to re-post it on its own:
The gavel rapped sharply on the bench, ta-pokketa-pokketa as the judge called for “Order!” The chaos in the courtroom subsided only when Defendant Mitty rose to his feet and with a steely glare of resolute defiance commanded: “Be Peaceful! You’re all good people! The best of people!”
That stilled the crowd, and the Judge, cowed by the Mitty’s presidential demeanor and massive hands, muttered, “Do you have something to say to the court… er, Sir…?”
Mitty favored the Judge with a magnanimous smile, which caused the bailiff to begin to weep. “I merely wished to say that these proceedings have gone long enough.” Mitty’s voice grew thunderous, like the smack of a Number 2 Driver hitting a hole in one. “The guilty party is really, THAT WOMAN!”
The crowd gasped as he thrust his accusing finger at … THE COURT REPORTER!!!
The reporter leapt from her typey-thingie whatever the hell it is and snatched off her wig.
“Good Lord!” someone gasped.
“Yes?” Mitty replied.
“That's no woman… that’s SLEEPY JOE BIDEN… IN DRAG!!!”