Don’t ask me how I got my hands on this. I will not reveal my source, so just forget about it.
What follows is a snippet of the transcript from tonight’s debate where Brett Baier asks the participants what they make of Donald Trump’s indictments.
BAIER: Governor Christie, I’ll start with you. What do you make of Donald Trump’s indictments, now totaling 91 criminal counts?
CHRISTIE: He's a common criminal and I expect him to go to prison. He's a lying, conniving threat to democracy. He’s an embarrassment to the Republican Party. Plus, he wears tanning spray and his hair is... I don't know what it is.
[CROWD BOOS LOUDLY]
BAIER: Vice President Pence?
PENCE: Constitution. President Donald Trump and I accomplished great things together.
BAIER: But he tried to have you killed.
PENCE: Constitution.
BAIER: Nothing?
PENCE: Constitution.
BAIER: Okay… Governor DeSantis?
DESANTIS: The weaponization of the Justice Department will end under my presidency.
BAIER: But what about his indictments, the 91 counts?
DESANTIS: We must stop transvestite story hours in our libraries, nationwide!
BAIER: Can you say his name?
DESANTIS: Whose name?
BAIER: Donald Trump’s.
DESANTIS: This is about our future, a future where we tell the truth about slavery providing growth opportunities for slaves.
BAIER: Say the words “Donald Trump.”
DESANTIS: We’re banning books about homos!
BAIER: Right… Senator Scott?
SCOTT: I don’t see color.
BAIER: I didn’t ask you if you saw color.
SCOTT: I know, but I’m just telling you.
BAIER: But about President Trump’s indictments…
SCOTT: Brett, I have a question for you. Do you think Donald Trump would pick me as his running mate? A black guy, a conservative, I’m smiley and happy most of the time…
BAIER: I have no idea. Governor Haley?
HALEY: I just want everyone to know that the Indian up here is Ramaswamy, not me.
BAIER: But aren’t you also Indian-American, Governor Haley?
HALEY: Do I look Indian? (Pointing to Ramaswamy) That guy looks Indian!
BAIER: But what about Donald Trump’s indictments?
HALEY: Witch hunts. But he could be guilty. Maybe. Weaponization. Biden. Other stuff.
BAIER: Mr. Ramaswamy?
RAMASWAMY: (Rapping) He’s a real cool dude who’s busy gettin’ screwed by da Deep State, da Deep State. He’s da man, da man, I back him when I can, against da Deep State, da Deep State…
BAIER: Got it. Governor Hutchinson?
HUTCHINSON: We would be crazy as a party to even consider or think about or possibly envision Donald Trump again as our standard bearer, our nominee, as the person to lead our party forward into the future at a time when he would be facing trials and prosecutions and possible prison time or some other form of home confinement perhaps, I’m not sure how it would play out because it’s a very complicated—
BAIER: And we’re out of time. I want to thank—
BURGUM: Hey! What about me?
BAIER: I forgot about you, Governor Burgum.
CHRISTIE: We all did.
BAIER: Sorry, Governor Burgum. We’re out of time.
BURGUM: This isn’t fair.
CHRISTIE: Life isn’t fair. Get used to it.
BAIER: That’s all we have time for tonight. Thank you to our participants, thank you to our audience here tonight and thank you to our viewers at home.
[MUSIC UP]
DESANTIS: (Yelling to the camera) How’d I do, Casey?