BREAKING: Portion of transcript from tonight's debate!

Bob Johnson

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Wednesday August 23, 2023 · 7:45 AM PDT

2023/08/23 · 07:45

This combination of photos shows Republican presidential candidates, top row from left, Sen. Tim Scott, R-S.C., Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, former South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley, and Vivek Ramaswamy, bottom row from left, former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, former Vice President Mike Pence, North Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum and Governor Asa Hutchinson. (AP Photo)

UPDATE: Thursday, Aug 24, 2023 · 2:26:55 AM +00:00 · Bob Johnson

Holy shit. This is almost a word-for-word depiction of what is actually happening at the debate. Uncanny...

Don’t ask me how I got my hands on this. I will not reveal my source, so just forget about it.

What follows is a snippet of the transcript from tonight’s debate where Brett Baier asks the participants what they make of Donald Trump’s indictments.

BAIER: Governor Christie, I’ll start with you. What do you make of Donald Trump’s indictments, now totaling 91 criminal counts?

CHRISTIE: He's a common criminal and I expect him to go to prison. He's a lying, conniving threat to democracy. He’s an embarrassment to the Republican Party. Plus, he wears tanning spray and his hair is... I don't know what it is.

[CROWD BOOS LOUDLY]

BAIER: Vice President Pence?

PENCE: Constitution. President Donald Trump and I accomplished great things together.

BAIER: But he tried to have you killed.

PENCE: Constitution.

BAIER: Nothing?

PENCE: Constitution.

BAIER: Okay… Governor DeSantis?

DESANTIS: The weaponization of the Justice Department will end under my presidency.

BAIER: But what about his indictments, the 91 counts?

DESANTIS: We must stop transvestite story hours in our libraries, nationwide!

BAIER: Can you say his name?

DESANTIS: Whose name?

BAIER: Donald Trump’s.

DESANTIS: This is about our future, a future where we tell the truth about slavery providing growth opportunities for slaves.

BAIER: Say the words “Donald Trump.”

DESANTIS: We’re banning books about homos!

BAIER: Right… Senator Scott?

SCOTT: I don’t see color.

BAIER: I didn’t ask you if you saw color.

SCOTT: I know, but I’m just telling you.

BAIER: But about President Trump’s indictments…

SCOTT: Brett, I have a question for you. Do you think Donald Trump would pick me as his running mate? A black guy, a conservative, I’m smiley and happy most of the time…

BAIER: I have no idea. Governor Haley?

HALEY: I just want everyone to know that the Indian up here is Ramaswamy, not me.

BAIER: But aren’t you also Indian-American, Governor Haley?

HALEY: Do I look Indian? (Pointing to Ramaswamy) That guy looks Indian!

BAIER: But what about Donald Trump’s indictments?

HALEY: Witch hunts. But he could be guilty. Maybe. Weaponization. Biden. Other stuff.

BAIER: Mr. Ramaswamy?

RAMASWAMY: (Rapping) He’s a real cool dude who’s busy gettin’ screwed by da Deep State, da Deep State. He’s da man, da man, I back him when I can, against da Deep State, da Deep State…

BAIER: Got it. Governor Hutchinson?

HUTCHINSON: We would be crazy as a party to even consider or think about or possibly envision Donald Trump again as our standard bearer, our nominee, as the person to lead our party forward into the future at a time when he would be facing trials and prosecutions and possible prison time or some other form of home confinement perhaps, I’m not sure how it would play out because it’s a very complicated—

BAIER: And we’re out of time. I want to thank—

BURGUM: Hey! What about me?

BAIER: I forgot about you, Governor Burgum.

CHRISTIE: We all did.

BAIER: Sorry, Governor Burgum. We’re out of time.

BURGUM: This isn’t fair.

CHRISTIE: Life isn’t fair. Get used to it.

BAIER: That’s all we have time for tonight. Thank you to our participants, thank you to our audience here tonight and thank you to our viewers at home.

[MUSIC UP]

DESANTIS: (Yelling to the camera) How’d I do, Casey?

Tim Scott forced to become Black again in Iowa

Bob Johnson

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Friday July 28, 2023 · 2:39 PM PDT

2023/07/28 · 14:39

FILE - Sen. Tim Scott, R-S.C., speaks at a town hall, Sunday, April 30, 2023, in Charleston, S.C. Scott filed paperwork with the Federal Election Commission declaring his intention to seek his party's nomination in 2024. (AP Photo/Meg Kinnard, File) — So I know all of you conservative White Iowans don't understand, but slavery was not a job training program.

Just when Tim Scott was succeeding in dialing down his Blackness for the lily-White, right wing Christian racists in Iowa, he is forced to become Black again due to the virulent racism in his chosen party.

Tim Scott rebukes 2024 GOP rival Ron DeSantis over Florida curriculum on slavery

Sen. Tim Scott (S.C.) rebuked Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, a rival for the GOP presidential nomination, on Thursday over new state standards on how Black history is taught in Florida schools, saying “there is no silver lining” in slavery.

…

Scott, the only Black Republican in the U.S. Senate, strongly pushed back on that idea while speaking to reporters on the campaign trail in Ankeny, Iowa.

“As a country founded upon freedom, the greatest deprivation of freedom was slavery,” Scott said. “There is no silver lining … in slavery. … What slavery was really about [was] separating families, about mutilating humans and even raping their wives. It was just devastating. So, I would hope that every person in our country — and certainly running for president — would appreciate that.”

Speaking of DeSantis, Scott added: “Listen, people have bad days. Sometimes they regret what they say.”

No, Tim, Ron was not just “having a bad day.” And, no, Tim, Ron does not “regret” what he said. In fact, shortly after you made your comments, Ron doubled down and said you either stand with him or you stand with Kamala Harris.

“So at the end of the day you’ve got to choose,” DeSantis said. “Are you going to side with Kamala Harris and liberal media outlets, or are you going to side with the state of Florida?”

Tim, you're doing a lot of things wrong, but probably your biggest mistake is being a Republican.

Trump, soon...

Bob Johnson

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Friday July 28, 2023 · 10:32 AM PDT

2023/07/28 · 10:32

Walt Nauta, left, takes a phone from Former President Donald Trump during the LIV Golf Pro-Am at Trump National Golf Club, Thursday, May 25, 2023, in Sterling, Va. When Trump appears in federal court in Miami, he will likely be joined on the witness stand by a man well-practiced in standing by his side: auta, his valet turned co-conspirator. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon, File)

“Walt Nauta and this Olive guy… Criminal masterminds. Masterminds like no one has ever seen. I wanted to give the documents back. I told Walt, ‘Give everything back.’ He said, ‘I’ll take care of it, sir.’ (He always called me ‘sir,’ many times with tears in his eyes.) Then they moved my boxes without telling me. They even put some in my office. I never knew. I had no idea. The surveillance tapes? I said, ‘Turn them over. Whatever they want.’ Again with the, ‘I’ll take care of it, sir.’ Criminal masterminds. That’s what they are. They may even be part of the Deep State. I didn’t even know the Olive guy. Never met him. What kind of name is that? Olive? He belongs in a martini. I don’t drink, you know. Never touch the stuff. These are bad people. Very bad people. They’re not nice. Not nice at all. Nasty people. Criminal masterminds.”

WaPo's conservative yappers pine (in vain) for a 2024 savior

Bob Johnson

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Friday February 24, 2023 · 1:24 PM PST

2023/02/24 · 13:24

The S.S. Trumptanic heads for the briny deep.

It has been a fun few weeks for observers of the Washington Post’s stable of conservative blabbermouths. Pundit after pundit has penned a column (or two) extolling the virtues of a 2024 GOP hopeful who is “Not-Trump.”

Today, George Will got in on the act with this drivel:

Glenn Youngkin is no surly GOP brawler. Many might welcome that.

I’m not even going to bother quoting from Will’s latest inanity. At this point, I could create a Mad Libs™ template for these pieces that would save the Post’s fact-challenged right wing columnists a lot of time and energy.

In just the past two weeks, we have seen the following headlined Opinion pieces from the conservative braintrust at the Post:

Henry Olsen:

What the GOP’s history says about Tim Scott’s future

Nikki Haley’s path to winning is narrow. But it’s real.

Marc Theissen:

What Ron DeSantis got right — and wrong — on Ukraine

Gary Abernathy:

The GOP needs a MAGA candidate who doesn’t pick fights. Like Nikki Haley.

What is darkly comical about their write-ups on the potential 2024 GOP field is just how full of "wishing" these columns are.

[Note that I didn’t include Hugh Hewitt on that list. Hugh still cannot plant his lips up Don's ample backside deeply enough.]

Well, here’s a newsflash, fellas: No one, repeat, NO ONE, is going to "save" you and your party from Trump. You had your chances to get rid of him, and you cowards ran and hid and provided cover for his criminal behavior, over and over. Now, he is going to destroy what is left of the rusting, decaying hulk of the Republican Party. Either he wins the nomination and gets pounded in the general, or he loses the nomination to DeSantis and nukes the party on the way out the door by either running third party or telling the MAGA faithful not to support DeSantis. Don’s narcissistic injury will allow nothing else.

So pine away, pundits! Wish for a savior to emerge! Claim that Nikki Haley, Tim Scott, Glenn Youngkin, Chris Sununu or some other “But-I’m-Not-Trump!” token can overtake the two fascists at the top vying for the nod. You know they can't. You know it is not possible and not true. The MAGA base, the people who vote in the primaries, want a strongman fascist wannabe who spits blood on culture issues. And no one can spit blood and bile like Don and Ron. (I doubt that Ron can beat Don, anyway.)

It's going to be fun to watch. No “saviors” are forthcoming.

Just released transcript of Sarah Huckabee Sanders' SOTU rebuttal

Bob Johnson

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Tuesday February 07, 2023 · 5:43 PM PST

2023/02/07 · 17:43

Just released text of Sarah Huckabee Sanders' rebuttal:

My fellow Americans,

Why should our children have to learn about slavery? Or black people, even? And what about Transvestite Story Hours at our libraries?

"No, Jimmy, that is not a lady. That is man wearing mommy's clothes. What? No, it is not daddy!"

Do we need or want that? NO! In fact, do we even need libraries when they're pushing books on our children that even adults shouldn't read? Books about things that Jesus didn't, and would never, teach us? Banning these blasphemous books from the library is not only prudent, it is necessary! We need just one book, the Good Book, the Holy Bible.

And why should we be forced to accept children whose parents allow them to believe they're cats, who then require litter boxes in schools? Liberals, liberal media and communists will tell you that these stories are not true. But last Halloween (another holiday that should be banned), I saw several little girls at my daughter's school in cat outfits. It was horrifying! They scared the little boy who was portraying Jesus nailed to the cross. I felt so bad for that boy because he wanted to wipe away tears, but he couldn't because his hands were "nailed" to a cross. (And, no, they weren't really nailed, lest any liberals get their undies in a bunch! They were taped to the cross with duct tape.)

Also, the Chinese Spy Balloon. Joe Biden looked weak. He should have shot it down over a major city where mostly socialists and communists live because both the balloon and the socialists and communists are threats to our national security.

Finally, the economy. President Trump started us on the long road to recovery with his brilliant tax cuts for the wealthy people who make jobs and Joe Biden is reaping the rewards. Let's keep cutting taxes for wealthy people so they can make more jobs!

God (our White Christian God) bless America. God -- and Jesus -- bless us and keep us safe from people who can't decide what sex they are, and those whose parents let them believe they're cats. Ban bad books, Cut more taxes. Make more jobs. Amen.

The FBI comes calling for George Santos... Or whatever his name is

Bob Johnson

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Saturday January 28, 2023 · 10:30 AM PST

2023/01/28 · 10:30

Image appears to be the expired US Passport of of George Santos

J ustice Department asks FEC to stand down as prosecutors probe Santos

The request is the clearest sign to date of an active criminal investigation examining the congressman’s campaign finances

Transcript from FBI interaction with George Santos:

FBI GUY: Mr. Santos, we need to--

GEORGE: It's Devolder.

FBI GUY: What's Devolder?

GEORGE: My last name.

FBI GUY: Okay, George Devolder, we need--

GEORGE: First name's Tony.

FBI GUY: Tony?

GEORGE: Tony Devolder. That's my name.

FBI GUY: But you got elected under the name George Santos. So what is that, a stage name?

GEORGE: No, my stage name is Kitara Ravache. And right now, I'm going by my stage name.

FBI GUY: Look, sir--

GEORGE: Madam, not sir! Or Ms. Or "miss."

FBI GUY: Look, Kitana--

GEORGE: Kitara!

FBI GUY: So are you, in fact, George Santos?

GEORGE: Not right now. So if you're here to arrest George Santos, you'll have to come back when he's here.

FBI GUY: And when will that be?

GEORGE: When he gets back from repairing the Hubble Space Telescope.

FBI GUY: That's not even a thing anymore. There's the James Webb Space Telescope now.

GEORGE: Oh, listen to you, Mister "I-Know-All-About-NASA!"

FBI GUY: That's about enough, Santos-Devolder-whatever-your-transvestite-show name is.

GEORGE: Ravache! That's Brazilian for "ravishing!"

FBI GUY: No it's not.

GEORGE: You got me there. I like to embellish.

FBI GUY: You're under arrest.

GEORGE: How much do you have saved for retirement? I have an investment that will deliver 18% returns...

FBI GUY: All right, let's — Wait... Did you say 18%?

Samuel Alito buys a man a drink

Bob Johnson

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Saturday October 01, 2022 · 7:49 AM PDT

2022/10/01 · 07:49

News Item: Alito on SCOTUS critics: ‘Questioning our integrity crosses an important line’

An Islamic jihadist walks into a bar and sits down to next to Samuel Alito who is enjoying a sarsaparilla. The bartender says, “We don’t serve Islamic jihadists in here.” Alito speaks up. “Hang on, fine bartender, I have a simple test. You may have no reason to deny this man a drink!”

Alito addresses the Islamic jihadist, “Do you believe that women should be subservient to men?”

“Of course,” exclaims the Islamic jihadist, adding, “much like your fellow justice, Amy Coney Barrett believes in her religious cult!”

“Indeed, “ Alito responds. “And do you believe that marriage is only between a man and a woman?”

“Of course,” exclaims the Islamic jihadist. “How could it be any other way?”

“Indeed,” Alito replies. “Do you believe your faith should have precedence over any other faith?”

“Of course,” exclaims the Islamic jihadist. “My faith is the one true faith on which my country was founded!”

“See,” Alito says to the bartender, “This man is one of us! Give him whatever he wants, on me!”

The Islamic jihadist begins unbuttoning his shirt. “Would you mind if I took this thing off? It’s heavy and I sweat underneath it.”

Alito asks, “What is it?”

“A suicide vest.”

Alito pauses, then inquires, “Can you teach me how to make one of those?”

I rewrite Dick Cheney's campaign ad for his daughter

Bob Johnson

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Thursday August 04, 2022 · 9:42 PM PDT

2022/08/04 · 21:42

Dick Cheney in a video message calling Donald Trump a coward and a 'threat to the republic'

Look, don’t get me wrong. ~~I agree with Dick Cheney.~~ ~~I agree with Dick Cheney.~~ ~~I agree with Dick Cheney.~~

I AGREE WITH DICK CHENEY.

(Honest to god, my computer wouldn’t let me write that.)

I saw the ad Dick did for Liz today and I enjoyed the hell out of it.

YouTube Video

But there was something gnawing at me. Dick Cheney is evil. Always has been, always will be. So even though I agreed with him here, I couldn’t let it go. I rewrote his ad copy. I am hoping I can get him to make an additional ad for Liz that uses this script:

"Even though I lied about Iraq having weapons of mass destruction in order to foment a needless war that killed hundreds of thousands of innocent people including more than 4,500 American service members and cost more than a trillion dollars over the course of eight long years, there is someone who is worse than me. And that is Donald Trump. Hard to believe, I know, but it's true. While I was all for overthrowing another country, I never sought to overthrow our country."

Fuck you, Dick. You’re a monster.

America held hostage by a radical, fringe minority

Bob Johnson

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Tuesday July 05, 2022 · 8:46 AM PDT

2022/07/05 · 08:46

Supported by a friend, a man weeps for victims of the mass shooting just a block from the scene in Orlando, Florida, on June 12, 2016. .Fifty people died and another 53 were injured when a gunman opened fire and seized hostages at a gay nightclub in Florida, police said June 12, making it the worst mass shooting in US history. / AFP / Gregg NEWTON (Photo credit should read GREGG NEWTON/AFP/Getty Images)

We are being held hostage in this country by an extremist minority on everything from gun policy to abortion. The vast majority of Americans want:

Semi-automatic rifles to be banned.
Large capacity (bullet) magazines to be banned.
Abortion (with limitations) to be legal.
Full marriage equality.
Separation of church and state.
Voting eligibility to be easy, open and fair to maximize the number of eligible voters participating in our elections.

Instead, we are being ruled by those with fringe minority positions who are imposing their freak belief systems on us.

What is wrong with us? Why are we permitting these religious jihadists, corrupt vote blockers and Second Amendment freaks to rule the majority? And these self-described “patriots” claim they are trying to “take back America.” No. They are, literally, stealing America from the majority who want sanity in our everyday lives.

And that is insane.

This should be the Democratic Party’s rallying cry:

We are being held hostage by a fringe minority in this country.

Enumerate the issues where these fringe jihadists are seeking to impose their draconian, far-out-of-the-mainstream views on the vast majority of Americans who don’t agree with freak beliefs. And hammer this home, everywhere, everyday by everyone.

Unregulated, far right "police trainers" are recruiting and indoctrinating police across the country

Bob Johnson

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Friday May 06, 2022 · 1:58 PM PDT

2022/05/06 · 13:58

Just wanted to call attention to this incredible and frightening reporting from Julia Harte and Alexandra Ulmer of Reuters on far right extremists training and indoctrinating police across the country. Eye-opening story. It’s not surprising that the far right is recruiting police and active duty and ex-military — we’ve known that — but the examples cited in this reporting are truly disturbing. Well worth a read:

U.S. police trainers with far-right ties are teaching hundreds of cops

One police instructor who has taught 560 officers in recent years has joined one extremist group and supported other far-right movements. Others have echoed QAnon and other fringe conspiracy theories on social media, a Reuters examination found.

A snippet:

On social media, some trainers have echoed core tenets of the QAnon conspiracy theory, which holds that some prominent Democrats and Hollywood celebrities are part of a cabal of Satanist pedophiles and cannibals.

Kansas-based trainer Darrel Schenck teaches firearms classes through his own company as well as through the law enforcement division of the National Rifle Association (NRA), the leading U.S. gun-rights lobby. Schenck has voiced the belief that Democrats are pedophiles, called reports of violence during the U.S. Capitol riots “fake news,” and declared the 2020 election illegitimate, commenting: “election fraud is the real pandemic.”

…

Police instructor Adam Davis characterized Biden as a “puppet and a pedophile” on Facebook. In other posts, he slammed people who protest racial bias in policing as “pawns” in the “scheme to destroy this nation.”

Davis has worked as a contractor for Street Cop Training, one of the biggest private providers of law enforcement instruction. He spoke at an industry trade conference hosted by the company in October, and he gives lectures to police agencies nationwide. Street Cop Training did not respond to requests for comment.

Davis said in an interview that he “did not know for a fact” whether Biden was a pedophile. He said his criticism of anti-racism protesters was based on the property destruction that occurred during protests in various cities in 202o. He characterized his political views as “middle of the road.”

With fascism just around the corner, we know which side many police will back.

"Die, audience, die!" Tuck and guest tell viewers not to get vaxxed and boosted

Bob Johnson

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Tuesday January 25, 2022 · 7:24 PM PST

2022/01/25 · 19:24

Tonight on Tucker Carlson’s train wreck, lunatic anti-vaxxer and former New York Times reporter Alex Berenson tells Tuck’s audience not to get boosted and that mRNA vaccines need to be pulled from the market.

Alex Berenson tells Fox viewers: "The mRNA COVID vaccines need to be withdrawn from the market. No one should get them. No one should get boosted. No one should get double boosted. They are a dangerous and ineffective product at this point." pic.twitter.com/fq6fPSdafO
— nikki mccann ramírez (@NikkiMcR) January 26, 2022

Way to go, (vaxxed and boosted) Tuck! Keep killing your audience!

“Freedoms and liberties!”

Jussie Smollett guilty on five of six felony counts

Bob Johnson

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Thursday December 09, 2021 · 4:57 PM PST

2021/12/09 · 16:57

Jussie Smollett guilty of staging hate crime and lying about it

The “Empire” actor was found guilty on five counts of disorderly conduct but the jury acquitted him on one count.

…

Smollett was found guilty on five counts, each a time he reported the attack to a Chicago police officer. Smollett was acquitted on the sixth count, which was for lying to Detective Robert Graves on Feb. 14, 2019 during the actor’s second interview with investigators.

I called bullshit on his claims from the start and took a lot of crap here as a result. The story never added up.

Everyone in Chicago knew he was full of crap. No one here walks around in MAGA hats. If they did, they'd have a much bigger chance of getting attacked than Jussie Smollett. He owes the city an apology. Plus, he tried to frame his friend, Abimbola Osundairothe, the guy he asked to stage the attack. What a jerk.

He is appealing the verdict. His appeal will be as embarrassing for him as this trial was. And the worst part is that he undermined people who actually experience hate crimes.

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