I wrote a post a couple months ago about my situation with my house and the fact that my ex lost it due to a loan he defaulted on.
Time for an update.
I had already contacted the office for the organization where the loan was from, Community Futures, and got blown off pretty much. They told me it was a privacy thing. I guess they figured that they could take my house and boot us all, but they didn't actually have to tell me it was happening?
So I contacted their head office and explained the situation, asked some interesting questions like HOW a guy with bad credit got the loan in the first place? Mentioned media attention.
The next day I got a “When can we talk” mail, from the same person who blew me off.
I secured an extension is all. An extension so that I could clean up the mess here, and sell the house myself. Maybe get more money so that we have a place to go. This is a serious situation, there are no affordable rentals in my area for a family. A family with a dog? Forget it.
People are living in their cars here, families are homeless because there are very few rentals or the price is sky high. AirB&B is horrible. The data shows that there are over a 135 AirB&B rentals available, only 41 or so long term rentals on Craigslist in the same period. Owners of properties are going for the pie in the sky. Screw the rest of us.
So. I need to get some dollars from this sale, and the possibility is to purchase a small mobile home? Then its not going to rent, and we can keep our Twofer. :)
So much crap was left in the yard by my ex. (ex construction company) Metal, wood bits. Boxes and boxes of nails. I have 7 crowbars. LOL. Broken tools. A shed and a car tent full. The sides of the house completely covered. 9 hot water tanks. A hot tub. PALLETS. Not to mention the amount of antifreeze, paint buckets everywhere, and other toxics squared away in random spots. Did I mention the boxes of nails?
My ex is also a hoarder I am now thoroughly convinced. OH my.
The derelict van. It sat here for 3 years, now gone. Full of mold. We rolled it down the drive, stuffed it with junk metal, and had it towed. Here I am doing the steering part:
I asked him after he moved out so many times to get it out of here. He never had time he always said. He would have gone ballistic on me if I had done it. (I will have a lot more to say on this later. After I get completely separated and in a safe place. Lots more. The rabbit hole that was his life is so deep……...I found out some truly disturbing things)
Now, I have no f*cks to give about that, his feelings? Pffft. He seems to not care that his kids may be homeless. So Me and my oldest daughter have had approx 15 pickup truck loads removed from this place. So far.
My ex refuses to help. He is upset at the things we have tossed. He feels violated?
Lots of junk, scrap metal tools. Etc. As much for free as we could. Some of the scrap brought in some money which is long gone for food.
Glitch: The ex removed anything truly salable and has it locked away elsewhere. Makes it hard to facilitate junk removal with no money. Buying food has been really interesting with just what I make and then all the other things I need to pay for.
We found a few things, there is a virtual nerd sale! I have to add more to it as I have lots of computer items that need to go. Time is not something I have had much of however.
But we have accomplished 70% of a Herculean task. We are just trying to tidy it up now.
Glitch: I found oil drilling equipment on the property last week. Under a tarp.
Seriously. OMG. What the hell do you do with ???? of pounds of cast iron? Make it into a sculpture?
I wanted a beautiful house too. I wanted this to be a beautiful house. But, it will never be for me. I had a good cry the other day. My health issues have also been a major factor in my ability to do anything about this situation. i cannot maintain a home this size, with such needs.
Keeping the peace, not upsetting him. It has been abuse.
It took me a long time to admit that this is what he has been doing to me, to us all. Emotional and financial abuse.
The reason that it bothers me so very much that he was coming in my room at night? I will talk about later.
Not now. Gawd. Not now.
He is mentally ill. With delusions. It scares the hell out of me. He refuses any help from the medical system. He blames me for the things that he imagines, and he really believes I am having people in the house at 3am. He accused someone who was helping us move junk, of being one of those nighttime visitors.
I cannot fight that. I cannot help him. He will not help himself or us. I am done. It is not something I will ever take on again.
This was my home. For him it was simply a dumping ground. Now it is just an old dream, one that I have not the resources to fullfill. It needs a lot more money into it than I will probably ever have.
We watch and panic when cars park on the road out front. The home phone number was changed after 15 years, no more calls for him from bill collectors that he gave that number to. No more horrible voice mails looking for him, making threats.
We have each other. My Children are my world. I will do whatever it takes to make them a safe home. If anyone stands in the way of that? They will think twice before they consider it again. :)
My girls will need time to grieve the loss of their home, and the change in their father. Hard work ahead there too.
I need to just get through the next few weeks. I listed the house last week.
Thanks to all who have helped us get to here. We would have been dead in the water a while back. Friends from all over the place have been amazingly kind with time, resources and funds. I am not too proud to ask for help now, so that was my paypal link. This is for my kids. I will pay it forward. I will be that person again, who sends help when it is needed. I much prefer being on that side of the fence.
Thank you. I cannot express it enough.
Just a few more weeks.
Its a mantra.
Freedom. Safety. We will get there.
Just a few more weeks.