Well, we knew it would come to this. Republicans failed to win the Presidency twice in the '90s, so they settled for trying to impeach the one we did elect. They couldn't win the Presidency in 2000 either, so they just had their allies on the Supreme Court declare the election null and void in their favor. They failed in 2008 when the people were tired of their lies and criminality, so they had their Supreme Court puppets obliterate campaign finance laws so they could try to buy power. It seemed to work in 2010, but in 2012 it stopped working - we denied them both the Presidency and voted their asses out of power in the Congress, but they had already gerrymandered themselves an impenetrable House majority that stood despite the people throwing them out.
Now they have nothing left to do but take hostages again and plot coups again, the filthy Teahadist Fauxmericans in their flag lapel pins made in China by child slaves. They have nothing left to do but tear down this country and rip at its fabric, feasting their fat, unelected asses on the fruits of other people's labor so they can feel powerful at our expense. And they know if we're ever too successful at the polls despite their conniving and voter suppression; if we're ever too bold at prosecuting them for their crimes; they'll call up their armed paramilitary terrorist groups with their Ayn Rand catchphrases and tricorner hats, their Confederate flag-bedecked trucks and their autographed copies of the Turner Diaries.
And what do they do for the American people they claim to represent? Nothing. Because they don't believe they work for you: They believe their seats in office belong to them - are their property. They don't believe you have the right to take it away from them, because who are you? Who do you think you are, you un-rich swine who can't afford your own lobbyist? Do not pollute the air of the Holy Job Creators and their humble Republican servants with your meager presence. You who have never known the awesome struggle and heartbreak of being told about having to pay taxes on your yacht by your accountant's secretary.
How big a bribe must we pay you, Herr Cruz/Boehner/et al, to give us mere unworthy mortals the privilege of a government that serves at least our most basic rights and interests rather than being a platform for you to step on our face every day? How big an honorarium are you demanding to graciously dismantle the bombs you've planted beneath this country's future? How much must we grovel at your feet for the right to healthcare? You, who already have it at taxpayer expense while refusing to do the job that provides you with that privilege, you lazy, thieving trash.
If you don't want to live in a country where your tax dollars pay for the common good, move somewhere there are no people for you to rob or complain about. But then, of course, with no one there to pay your way, Republicans would just starve, wouldn't you? And you know that. That's why so many of you live in Blue States while always complaining about the laws here - you just want something for nothing in recognition of your inherent superiority (that only you can see), and want everyone else to be your obedient servants. Don't ever call yourself American in my presence, you foul vampire c**ts.
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