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  •  Disagree. Let him come eat, no report. (1+ / 0-)
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    Marko the Werelynx

    My stepson used to walk about 3 blocks to attend a church near his mother's house. Someone he knew had taken him once. After a few Sundays they told him he couldn't come back unless he was with an adult.

    The deal is, we had already fought the custody case to try & rescue him more than once, and lost. So- his situation was static, but the church could have improved his life via socializing and possibly some food. (They really got that "suffer the little children" thing down,eh?)

    Further, as a foster parent, I have to say, if you think that one call is going to result in a removal, it's not. And if you think entering foster care is going to be helpful, likely the child will just be in one or more homes, then sent back to the exact same situation. The current fad is "reunification" at all cost, no matter situation.

    It's horrifying to watch, and seems quite pointless.

    This health care system is a moral atrocity. Dr. Ralphdog

    by AllisonInSeattle on Mon May 06, 2013 at 04:44:39 PM PDT

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    •  Ps He was about four. When children have a lot (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Marko the Werelynx

      of freedom to wander the neighborhood because a parent isn't home or isn't effectively supervising, they think it's no big deal. They don't know other families run differently.

      This health care system is a moral atrocity. Dr. Ralphdog

      by AllisonInSeattle on Mon May 06, 2013 at 04:48:35 PM PDT

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      •  Allison, I'm not angling for removal (0+ / 0-)

        I work in the field, and know better than most the realities of kids in the system. I know what it takes to get a kid removed from a neglectful home, and know that entering the system is neither a quick fix or always a good thing.

        I take issue with a the view that a preference for reunification as a "fad" (though kinship care is preferred to traditional foster for a few reasons, many of which have to do with building a safety net for kids once they age out of care). I also dispute that such action is at "all costs"...but the fact that I have a job at all (often evaluating state-level foster/adopt and child welfare programs) tells me the system is often badly messed-up.

        I realize individual cases are just that, individual; I was a sometimes-neglected autonomous kid myself and my circumstances weren't typical. I also know that every report doesn't automatically start the march to foster care; sometimes, it's simply hooking up the parent with affordable child care options, vouchers for services or supplementary meal programs, or a reminder that a kid that age probably shouldn't be unsupervised in that type of setting---and maybe hook them up with a home visitor or help them identify a friend or family member who could go with him to the kitchen for meals. It doesn't have to be punitive; it's often quite supportive if the baseline child abuse/neglect hasn't resulted in serious negative consequences yet.

        Based on my experience with similar situations, the church probably had to refuse him due to liability issues. Their ability to provide services at all (to anyone/everyone) may have hinged on adhering to certain restrictions placed on them by external forces (city, state, or their insurance company) and they might have feared that making an exception for your stepson might jeopardized that. I'm sorry he didn't get to take advantage of the program. And I admire the work you do as a foster parent; it's tougher than most people realize and we need all the good ones we can get!

        "The truth can't hurt you, it's just like the dark. It scares you witless but in time you see things clear and stark." - Elvis Costello

        by Vacationland on Wed May 08, 2013 at 12:09:33 PM PDT

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