From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Energize An Ally Tuesday
I’ve decided that what this country needs is another good Trump-thumping special election. Lo and behold, there’s a big one coming up August 7th in Ohio: home of the buckeye, great American astronauts, seven terrible presidents (one of whom died in office because he thought giving his 80-hour inaugural address in a Speedo during a blizzard would get him some decent press), and the Kokosing river, where---this is true---I was hatched as a tadpole and evolved for 600,000 years until I could clamor up the bank and become Mount Vernon’s “most blatty” trumpet player in the pep club band. (Look it up.)
So here’s what’s goin’ on: Franklin County auditor Danny O'Connor (D) is running against Zanesville state senator Troy Balderson (Trump Clone) in the 12th District---Mansfield to the north, Zanesville to the south---to replace nine-term GOP Rep. Patrick Tiberi. It’s a red-leaning district for sure, but there are some signs that this may not go the way Putin’s robots want: early ballots are reportedly swinging O’Connor’s way by a 2-to-1 margin, he raised $50k more than Balderson in the second quarter (but has less money in the bank), and eyebrows are still stuck to the ceiling after the conservative Columbus Dispatch endorsed Danny:
O’Connor calls for new leadership in Congress. “We need change on both sides of the aisle,” he says, and sees his youth and “fresher perspective” as a way to break the influence of special interests that are “dictating the conversation.” It’s why his campaign is not taking contributions from corporate PACs.
He favors rebuilding roads and bridges instead of a border wall (although he favors strong border security through enforcement), would raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour and work to assure access to health care. “If you’re willing to work 40 hours a week, you shouldn’t live in poverty.” He views Medicare and Social Security as earned social contracts and would not raise eligibility ages. [...]
[O]ne [candidate] supports a reasonable, thoughtful approach to addressing the important issues facing Congress and our country, and the other supports a president who uses tactics and pushes policies that this Editorial Board has denounced. Our endorsement goes to Danny O’Connor.
But as we know, early returns and media endorsements are rings made of the thinnest brass. So chip in if you’re able via the Act Blue link here so we can flip yet another red district blue.
Follow Danny O’Connor on twitter here and the evil Facebook here.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, July 17, 2018
Note: Welcome to C&J, CUAers! We heard about yesterday's announcement, and welcome you to our humble space on the blog. We’ll do our best to shower you with grade-A candy corn-fed mediocrity. And be sure to check out our other early-morning neighbors: the Abbreviated Pundit Roundup for harder-core political back-and-forth, and David Waldman’s Kagro in the Morning on Netroots Radio. Please enjoy your stay. The waitstaff will be along shortly to inform you that we’re out of everything. ---Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til System Administrator Appreciation Day: 10
Days ‘til the Ohio State Fair: 8
Percent of Americans who don’t consider Russia an ally, according to a new Gallup survey: 91%
Percent in the same poll who want Roe v. Wade overturned: 28%
Number of people who have either joined DACA or renewed their status in the deportation-protection program this year: 134,000
Amount of taxpayer money wasted by former HHS director Tom Price because he took trips that didn’t comply with HHS policies and regulations: $341,000
Cost of the military toilet seat cover that the Air Force says it’s cutting because it can get a 3-D printer to do the job for $300: $10,000
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NEW Tuesday Feature: “I Love New Orleans!”
Brought to you by the 2018 Netroots Nation Convention in New Orleans, August 2-4. One of America’s most admired open spaces, if you ask thems who knows, is Jackson Square, built to honor then-General Andrew Jackson for his successful defense of the city during the War of 1812. (Not-so-funny story: the Battle of New Orleans happened after the war had officially ended. Sucks that cell phone reception was so spotty back then.) Today it’s the #1 attraction in NOLA…
This famous landmark facing the Mississippi River is surrounded by historic buildings, including the St. Louis Cathedral, the Presbytere and Cabildo (Louisiana State Museums), not to mention the Lower and Upper Pontalba Apartments, the oldest apartment buildings in the United States. The Pontalba Apartments offer retail shops, museums, galleries and restaurants on the ground level; their second and third floors still house a selection of prestigious apartments.
For well over a half-century, there has been an open-air artist colony at Jackson Square. Local artists paint, draw, create portraits, caricatures, and display their work on the square's iron fence. Some have been there for generations.
While you’re there, we wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to discreetly flip the ol’ genocidal maniac the bird.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: And don’t think the puppy will ever hear the end of it….
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JEERS to epic failures. Yesterday in Helsinki, the Thai Navy SEALs did their best, but despite coordination down to the last detail they just couldn’t extract Donald J. Trump from Vladimir Putin’s ass---he kept wriggling his way back in so they had to gave up. Perspective from our keyboard kingpin Markos:
American traitor Donald Trump’s shameful performance at the Surrender Summit has removed all doubt about where his allegiances lie---believing Russian President Vladimir Putin’s lies over his own intelligence agencies. His slavish performance, akin to a puppy dog desperate for his master’s attention, wasn’t just geopolitically embarrassing, it wasn’t just humiliating to watch as an American, it was also an overt admission that America is now a Russian puppet state.
Yet for the most part, the Republican Party has dithered between silence and outright surrender in the face of this Russian aggression---aggression that has extended to brazenly murdering allies. … That is called treason. And most Republicans aren’t even hiding it anymore.
Another sign that Trump has surrendered our country to Russia: he disabled the alarms and pulled all the guards off our national toilet paper reserve.
P.S. On newsstands this morning. Subtle:
JEERS to sticking to your principles…if by “sticking to” you mean “abandoning.” After Trump handed the keys to America over to Putin (on a key chain with a little plastic cheeseburger that squeaks, so cute), I thought sure that one conservative group would be raising holy hell---namely, the John Birch Society. They hate Russia. In fact, they were so convinced that Russia was colluding with the liberals to take down the federal government in the 1950s, that founder Robert Welch made the group’s primary mission destroying “the communist conspiracy…or at least breaking its grip on our government and shattering its power within the United States.” Surely they would be ready to fight back, right? Wrong. Turns out they abandoned their core principle, coincidentally, a year ago yesterday:
The John Birch Society once fulminated on the idea of Soviet infiltration of the U.S. government…
Dallas Reverend W.A. Criswell, a segregationist and head of the largest Southern Baptist congregation in the world, praised Bircher positions from his pulpit and railed against “the leftists, the liberals, the pinks, and the welfare statists who are soft on communism and easy towards Russia.” […]
[N]ow, it wants to stop the investigation into Russia’s 2016 election meddling and possible collusion with the campaign of President Donald Trump.
You’d think the Bircher rank-and-file would be nursing concussions after such a seismic flip-flop. Wrong again. Apparently you can’t experience a brain injury unless you have a brain to injure. Who knew?
CHEERS to slips with a decidedly pinkish hue. Well, here’s a bit of good news. You may have heard about the CVS employee in Illinois---Trump supporter, a Log Cabin Republican and has a history of forging signatures on petitions---who called the cops on a black woman because she tried to redeem a coupon. (Yes, being a customer while black is now a suspicious activity.) Well, customers at that store won’t be rung up by that racist trash anymore:
“We have completed our investigation, and as a result the two colleagues who were involved are no longer employed by CVS Health,” Michael DeAngelis said in a statement. Another manager at the store involved in the incident was also let go.
One of the managers involved, Morry Matson, earlier claimed to be running for alderman of the 48th Ward on Chicago’s Far North Side, however just days after Block Club Chicago first reported on the incident, his campaign website had been taken down.
In other words, they found him irredeemable. God bless irony.
CHEERS to lighting one helluva candle. Today is the 49th anniversary of the liftoff of Apollo 11. Cronkite's understatement: "Oh, boy, What a moment." Watch it on the wayback machine. It’s just as thrilling all these years later...
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The mission would fulfill a vision set forth by President John F. Kennedy eight years earlier to put a man on the moon before decade's end, and would climax with Neil Armstrong's immortal words four days later (SPOILER ALERT): "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for...Mmmm! Hey, everybody! It’s cheddar!"
CHEERS to previews of coming attractions. Assuming our new motherland Russia doesn’t convert our telephony system back to giant ten-pound rotary-dial behemoths in the next few months, Apple will be releasing a new set of iPhones. And, golly, won’t they make swell Day of Unity gifts! Here’s a sneak peek:
The company plans to introduce three new models later this year which may include a considerably larger version of the iPhoneX -- the iPhone X Plus, perhaps -- as well as a significantly less expensive version.
In addition to refining the designs and adding in some new features, Apple is likely to deliver the annual enhancements we've come to expect -- new build materials and colors, a bump in processing speeds, higher screen resolution and tweaks to extend battery life.
And if all goes according to plan, there will also be a special courtesy feature unveiled for the first time: whenever you sneeze, a live Russian troll says “будьздоров” and offers you a virtual tissue after hacking all your data.
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Ten years ago in C&J: July 17, 2008
JEERS to moving in the wrong direction. So if we're winning the war on terrorism (just humor me, okay?), shouldn't the terror watch list be getting smaller? That's what I thought, too. Well, it says here that the list of suspects---which may or may not still include Ted Kennedy---is growing faster than calories on a plate in the Country Buffet line:
The American Civil Liberties Union [announced] at the National Press Club that the U.S. government's terrorist watch list has added its 1 millionth name. The estimate stems from a Justice Department inspector general's report last year that put the watch list roster---four years after its creation---at more than 720,000 in April 2007, and growing by 20,000 records a month.
Would the last American not designated a terrorist please turn out the lights? Thanks.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to a trip or two around the bases. The Major League All-Star Game is tonight at 8. A bit of history:
• 88 All-Star Games have been played (including two games per year from 1959-1962), with each league winning 43, plus 2 ties.
• The longest All-Star Game---in terms of innings---lasted 15 innings, which has occurred twice: 1967 and 2008. The longest game---in terms of time---was 2008, with a total time of 4 hours and 50 minutes.
• The 2018 All-Star Game will be played at nationals Park in Washington, D.C.
We hate to brag, but plucked from the #1 Boston Red Sox are five players in the lineup: Mookie Betts (batting average: .362), home run king J.D. Martinez, Mitch Moreland, and pitching aces Chris Sale and Craig Kimbrel. All five will share the MVP trophy after dominating tonight’s game so thoroughly that the National League just gives up and goes home after the fifth inning. And now, an opposing view:
Q: What should you do if you find three Boston Red Sox baseball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
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I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store. They put a Red Sox jersey on it and now it sucks again.
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Not only do the Red Sox steal signs, but I heard their pitchers are deflating baseballs.
Fine, then. Make that the third inning.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
How impossibly charismatic is Bill in Portland Maine? I wouldn’t go so far as to say I would watch him read Cheers and Jeers, but an Archie comic or the back of a cereal box wouldn’t be out of the question.
---Matt Brunson
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